On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

[Pisssssedofff]

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.
I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

[Alvah]

I think you really need to get some outside agency support for your daughter asap. The way you are speaking/feeling about her is not appropriate or healthy. I feel it is not just your daughter's behaviour which needs help, but also you and the whole family. Can the school help? GP? Social services?

Hope things work out for you all.

[Philoslothy]

Things are good for us at the moment. Thankyou

[Letmehaveausername]

Phil that must have been an extremely difficult thing to go through, I am very sorry that you've experienced that. And no one can judge if your situation is easier than the OP's is or not either.

My point is, if someone is so desperate for help as the OP seems to be, there is no need to shun all help. I agree that the OP needs to have some sort of medical intervention, but I also stand by what I've said with the consistent flaws in her posts. It is very hard to have sympathy for someone who seems to be lying, who seems to be deliberately baiting with what she says.

However I do think it's best I leave this thread now. I do hope things are easier for you now as well

[Philoslothy]

I have certainly been angry. My son has a diagnosed condition so it is different. I have a supportive husband, am not going through a difficult divorce and not living in cramped housing.

My son has attacked me when I was pregnant. I have had miscarriages - one of which happened after an attack and I would not want to use the word hate but I did struggle to look my son in the eye for a while. That is in a much easier situation than the OP is in.

I have a relative who has a mental health condition who sometimes fires out vile things in the way the OP has done on this thread. She only does this when pushed to the edge of her coping level. When she is doing this j would not stand there trying to catch her out. I would recognise that for the sake of her children she needs supporting

[paxillin]

Philoslothy the worst taunting came from OP. Which is the reason for people ASing her to see if she is goady or just stressed. She goads, taunts and attacks in her other threads, too.

[Letmehaveausername]

Phil At your worst, most overwhelmed and unable to cope moments, do you hate your dc? Wish him gone and blame him for everything wrong in your life and speak about him with such contempt? I'm not trying to have a dig or anything, I'm genuinely curious

[Philoslothy]

then ended the thread saying everything was sorted, her DD was never going to assault her sibling again and all was well with the world

This could be a coping strategy. I wouldn't post about my son at great length on here because of this kind of reception. However there have definitely been times when it has all felt overwhelming and I have said to DH everything will be fine - let's stop talking about it.

[tootiredforthissh1t]

She feels like shit and is reacting to the world around her. My mum kicked me out at 16 OP and it was a scary time. I survived it but I wouldn't wish it on any 16 year old.

[Philoslothy]

I have a son who can be violent, I am lucky that I have never been pushed to these extremes - he has mostly been violent to me rather than siblings. I am sure that even though my challenges were less that I have at times been unreasonably angry and irrational. I have posted in anger on here when pushed to my limits.

So I understand why she might have given as good as she got, I don't understand why she "got it" in the first place.

Why are grown women - most of whom are mothers- spending their time trawling through pages of internet history hoping to find that little golden nugget to catch someone out? Why are grown women taunting a complete stranger on the internet who appears to have more than enough going on?

[SuburbanRhonda]

It could be devastating, or alternatively it could be that the OP gave as good as she got throughout, then ended the thread saying everything was sorted, her DD was never going to assault her sibling again and all was well with the world

[Philoslothy]

If people thought she was a troll by all means do the auto search and report your concerns to MN. That would make sense if your only concern was that the OP was a troll. If she was a troll they can deal with it. However if this is a genuine poster the fall out from people trying to catch her out or taunt her on this thread could be devastating.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I imagine people advanced searched because it seemed the OP might be a troll and be using a sock puppet.

The fact that she started another thread today (coincidentally with a guest appearance by the same suspected sock puppet), and was so rude to posters she had a post deleted, may have raised suspicions.

[Philoslothy]

I've seen this mentioned on occasion, but surely seeing someone's posting history helps to build up a better idea of a situation and give better advice.

But are people searching to give advice or to taunt a woman who is clearly struggling in life which in turn is harming her vulnerable children.

If somebody in real life is distressed and angry do people quote their past back at them to catch them out?

[corythatwas]

I understand that the OP posted in a temper because she was under pressure. But the same OP is still the person who has to provide the stability and support for some very vulnerable young people and if she is not able to do that it is her responsibility to seek aid, however afraid she is of being criticised. There is simply no getting round that.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Actually, wibble, what you said was not only were government bodies useless because of lack of funding, but because of poor training.

Which you gave precisely no evidence for.

[corythatwas]

wibblewobble8 Thu 23-Jun-16 17:29:14

"the good old reading into a post and inferring something thats not there. Please highlight in my post where i said the op should not seek help. Or avoid SS. I merely said i understand why she distrusts SS/other LA help. Because (and specifically regarding my ds disability) the help is simply not there due mostly to lack of funds. "

I assumed you had read what the OP said about accepting help from the SS. It was pretty clear- and very childish. If you tell her you understand how she feels and make no attempt to explain to her why her conclusions are wrong, then she is going to take that as confirmation that she is right.

[paxillin]

What is really bad form and completely against Talk Guidelines is sockpuppeting. And that is what AS was used for in this case, rightly so.

[Atenco]

I thought it was very bad form to go through an OP's posting history?

I've seen this mentioned on occasion, but surely seeing someone's posting history helps to build up a better idea of a situation and give better advice.
I suppose, to my mind, unhelpful posts are bad form.

[Letmehaveausername]

I thought it was the norm to search post history of those you're suspicious of. It's normally why people say they've nc at the start of their post, to avoid being accused of being a troll as posters search posting history to see if poster is genuine or not, especially on controversial or highly dramatic posts

[wibblewobble8]

Dont think its an official rule carved in stone. But to umm refer to that oft said phrase around here - 'not in the spirit of mn'. And what Phil say^^

[Philoslothy]

The OP has posted things in temper because she is under huge pressure.

There are some posters on here who for sheer shits and kicks are trawling her history and taunting her.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

I thought it was very bad form to go through an OP's posting history?

Where does this supposed rule come from? Surely if that were the case, the AS function wouldn't exist?

[wibblewobble8]

the good old reading into a post and inferring something thats not there. Please highlight in my post where i said the op should not seek help. Or avoid SS. I merely said i understand why she distrusts SS/other LA help. Because (and specifically regarding my ds disability) the help is simply not there due mostly to lack of funds.

As for being infantile, meh, im never gonna be this young again. Haterz haterz haterz

[DetestableHerytike]

Wibble, op's posts are memorabl

[paxillin]

It is a bit like "I am not going to have this life saving operation, a nurse at the hospital criticised my dirty pjs last time" isn't it, corythatwas?