On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

[Pisssssedofff]

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.
I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

[juneau]

autismdigest.com/girls-with-a/

[LizKeen]

I actually don't think it sounds like ASD at all.

I think it sounds like the 16 year old is the family scapegoat and has been for a long time.

[juneau]

www.youngminds.org.uk/for_parents/worried_about_your_child/autism_aspergers/children_autism

[Pisssssedofff]

What would you have done then Liz when you're 12 year old is bleeding, give the perpetrators a hug ?

[merrygoround51]

I don't know what the answer is here but clearly you cannot help your DD so I would contact social services to get some help for her.

[juneau]

That's possible too LizKeen, but what is clear is that this girl needs help. She is harming her siblings currently, so the OP needs to engage with medical and social services in order to help everyone.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Was the bathroom door not locked then?

[Pisssssedofff]

No Liz not at all, if anything because her dads not been around she's been over compensated for, too much let go and allowed to be put up with by the rest of us and frankly I have snapped now because she's been spoilt rotten at the expense of the others and this is how we are repaid

[Pisssssedofff]

There's no lock on my bathroom door I e never felt the need

[SuburbanRhonda]

Who has spoiled her, OP?

[Pisssssedofff]

Me and her step dad, she's had more attention, more material things. We are in a three bed house, 5 of us and I share with one DD and my 12 year old girl and 6 year old boy share so 16 year old gets her own room. Mainly because she refused to share.

[LizKeen]

The parent child relationship is not a two way scenario. Not until it becomes an adult child/parent relationship anyway.

She owes you nothing.

She is not a perpetrator. She is your DAUGHTER.

Jesus.

Juneau, I totally agree. And ASD does need investigated if she has some traits. I am not saying anyone is wrong for suggesting it.

[Pisssssedofff]

But also because I was worried what would happen if she did share with her sister

[LizKeen]

OP still hasn't explained what Nearly Killed Her looks like.

Did you get physical with her OP?

[Pisssssedofff]

She is a violent person living in my home Liz end of conversation

[Pisssssedofff]

Yeah I dragged her off her sister and don't even go there with that's where she learnt her behaviour nobody has ever put a finger on any of my kids

[Thornrose]

I don't like to "diagnose" on the internet but my dd has Aspergers and is 16. She is violent and controlling (NOT her fault!) When you say she's filthy what do you mean?

How is she a school can she control he anger with others, outside of the family? Does she have friends?

[SuburbanRhonda]

Have you phoned the GP yet, OP?

[Pisssssedofff]

Oh yea she knows not to hit the 14 year old because that sister would hit her back, just the little ones she attacks

[Pisssssedofff]

I want her gone, if I phone anyone it'll be the police.

[timelytess]

If this is true, get on to social services right away and tell her your 16 year old needs a safe place now because you can't have her in the house any more due to her violence towards the younger children. Email them this thread. Thereafter, she needs to see her GP for help. She has more chance of righting herself away from the environment in which so much has gone wrong.

You need the GP, too, for referral for counselling to help you cope with sending her away and so you can make a good job with the younger ones.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Agree with timely.

It's obviously not a safe place for any of the children and you don't want her there so phone social services and tell her you want her gone.

[SuburbanRhonda]

• tell them

[Thornrose]

I do understand you want her gone. I've been to hell and back with dd trying to get support. I said to social services she had to go at one point and I love her dearly but really felt I couldn't cope.

There is help out there and I think you need to start the ball rolling immediately. Please see your GP?

[pinkyredrose]

OP was your ex physical with her? Were you? Did your ex say horrible things to her or have you? I bet she knew all too well how much he hated her and how much she was in the way.