On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

[Pisssssedofff]

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.

I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

Internet on phone, genius isn't it !

Its not projecting. Its recognition of a situation the same as mine.

After I was posting earlier my 7 year old came home and was so wound up and tense she threw a yoghurt in my face. Was biting the doorframe and was screaming at us.

I know what difficult children are like. I have a support worker that comes weekly. I had to batter down doors to get even that help. I know partly why she is in distress and I work to help her. I am not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes, but no one could ever say I didn't try.

Yes, you have an older, stronger child. But we are both the parent. We are both the one with the responsibility to do all we can.

'How did you get the 12 yr old checked when you've been posting here?'

You googled the check?

I suspect a lie pissed cause if you'd done that you'd not have been able to help spouting off how your nasty dd has made you take your other child to the docs and how much damage she's gone and done.

Also curious why you haven't mentioned a safeguarding report being made to ss after the visit because they would have told you right then and there that they were making a safe guarding issue (like they're legally obligated to do) because of domestic violence between siblings (and trust me a kick in the jaw by a child older and stronger than her, and persistent abusive behaviour towards sibling is considered a safe guarding issue)

With respect Liz and I do mean this in the best possible intentions, my daughter has never thrown a yoghurt, she's never bitten a door frame and she doesn't scream at me which leads me to believe she's playing up not ill.

just wondering as most people go to the doctors.

I've no doubt for a moment there will be s knock on the door Let. Probably won't be in though.

Between 5.10 and 5.30 3 people suggested you take your child to the doctors. You ignored them, said you had to cook. You clearly had no intention of taking your child at that point, but here you are now, having been to a minor injuries unit or A&E and got seen and discharged.

No I'll be out at work providing for them

Oh I hope they do too lets, oh hang on sorry the little ones love me very much, sooooo

And they come back when you're in, or contact you via phone to arrange an appointment. You can't be out every single time they come round so you will have to see them at some point

Not doing tooooo bad a job there, just the one problem child everyone has one. And it turns out it was you in your family

Your last comment made absolutely no sense, I hope you realise that

Where is the handbook that telles you the difference between being ill and playing up?

My daughter is not ill. We suspected ASD for a while, still waiting for assessment. But I don't think she has that.

She was emotionally manipulated by my mother. Add to that she is grieving for the loss of them in her life, even though they are not dead. She has also grown up as I went through bad PND, and anxiety. It has affected her despite my best efforts to protect her. She is from a broken relationship and now lives between two loving and functioning homes, but that is hard for her at times.

She has screamed at me that she hates me. Has hit me. Has destroyed her room and her belongings. She has said she wants to die.

No one believed me because she masks it all when out. The consultant we saw thought I was wasting her time, but referred us anyway because I wouldn't take no for an answer.

Shortly after that I made a breakthrough with her. Things are getting better.

But, there were times I wanted to walk out the door and never come back. I have had really low moments. I have questioned myself and wrote myself off. But eventually I had to pick myself up and keep going because she only has one mother.

are we sure the OP is quite well? some of her posts do read a bit oddly. perhaps anger is misplaced here and we should be feeling concern for all the family?

" she doesn't scream at me which leads me to believe she's playing up not ill."

She is 16, is doing her GCSE, has been through a massive upheaval in her life, has been completely rejected by one parent, and is resented by the other who wants her to go away. She has had a terrible relationship with her stepfather by the sound of it. Those things are a recipe for mental ill health, and you are not qualified to assess and diagnose her. My dd was seen by a consultant psychiatrist and diagnosed with nothing more serious than moderate depression and anxiety. A year later she was reassessed at a specialist centre and rediagnosed with a personality disorder, a conduct disorder and PTSD. At this time she was attending college every day and doing well, was liked by everyone, doing regular voluntary work, and had lots of friends. Emotional illness doesn't always manifest in ways which are easy to identify, especially not to people who are wrapped up in their own emotional and practical problems.

Let me clarify then, I'm sure you got the jist though. Every family has a kid that causes shit for their parents - in yours you claim it was you - well done, hope they are doing well now.

"But eventually I had to pick myself up and keep going because she only has one mother."

Very true.

Not every family has a child that causes shit.

Most families that claim they do have such a child actually have a scapegoat in a dynamic of their own creating.

Pisss I really don't know where you're going with this now.

I completely empathised with you up thread and I can honestly see that you're angry/hurt/at rock bottom etc etc but you are shunning every shred of advice that is being given to you.

If you hate your child that much then bloody ring SS!!! I suspect you don't. I suspect that of course, you love her but hate her behaviour. I totally relate to that.

Can you really not go and engage with her at all? Can you not ask her to write down why she is acting/feeling the way she is and you'll do the same and then agree to talk about it?

How about a family 'thoughts box' where everyone gets to write down what they like or feel pissed off about and then agree to all sit down and discuss it??? Surely anything is worth a try?

Your desperation alarms and saddens me but your total nonchalance towards your DD alarms me more.

If it really is as bad as you say then you really must seek outside help.

I feel for all of you, I honestly do

You're right mini I'm not an expert and nor do I claim to be and if this continues she will need to seek help, right here and right now I'm just trying to get 4 kids through the day you know

Rainbows it's ok, I'm putting everyone to bed, whilst typing on my phone 😁, as I said earlier it'll get sorted one way or another.

Letme you really are putting the boot in and not empathising with the other side of the situation at all.

Do you or have you had teenagers?