Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome.
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

Was scrolling through mn for the first time in ages and saw the latest updates... Well done serial and flat!

Admittedly I've not gone totally clean but only using 2 to 4 times a month. I've pretty much kicked the cigs and have lost years off my face... Can't believe the difference in my skin. I was actually grey before?!

Anyway, although we do have the odd lapse, I am proud of where dh and I are now compared to two years ago or so when we were using 5 or 6 times a week and muddling our way through life.

Well done to those who are totally clean, we are def aiming for this once and for all in 2019.

Cleaning, thanks for your update too. Glad things are moving in the right direction for you and your husband too. I seem to remember you didn’t use huge amounts in one session. That was literally never my experience, no amount was ever enough for me. I just didn’t know when or how to stop. So I have had to give up completely as just one line would lead me right back to the chaos!

Wondering how lost is doing? Hoping she is ok too?

I was like that too flatwhite once I'd started I literally couldn't stop and would not only hoover up whatever was in the house but then go back to the dealer for more, in the middle of the night.. uuurgh glad those days are gone!

I had my first christmas/new year period (with the exception ofwhen i was pregnant) without cocaine this year... I think pretty much every other since many years back had been some sort of indulgence. It was good not having a 3 day comedown at the start of January!

PS this is gear... forgot to change back my username!

I'm seven months clean, but it's been calling to me recently. Getting flashbacks to times when I used to be high..euphoric recall I think it's called.

There's no way i can get any as I ditched all my dealers and using friends and made sure I couldn't retrieve the numbers. If I did still have contacts, I'd be on shaky ground.

I know that I need to keep it out of my life and I'd risk losing everything if I went back to it, but it's still bloody calling to me that's how insidious this damn drug is and I'm not going to get any (physically can't) but it's just annoying and slightly scary that 7 months on it's calling to me like this. Anyone understand?

I'm in the middle of addiction, using nearly daily. I am lost and need help

Me too! Have done some every day for the past 9 days. It's not even really working any more but I can't help myself.
Maybe we can help each other? X

I would really appreciate that I feel very alone, I can't do GP or rehab services, as I would see clients from work, I'd be sacked. I'm pretty much in the same boat, been using most days. Today first day without and it's been hell. I just wanted to die to be frank. Sorry, I'm going on already! How are you doing at the moment?

Bless you! It's so hard isn't it. Today is day 1 (again) for me. Am on my way to work and feel so ill. Will be hard to resist when I get home as that is our normal pattern.
Do you do it with your partner or on your own?
Stay strong today, keep busy or sleep whichever you need and try and concentrate on how much better you'll feel tomorrow if you don't do any x

How are you doing? I hope you survived work ! Bloody awful isn't it. I still haven't done any, mainly as I have no money. My partner and I do it together, but he's had enough now, and can see how negatively it impacts on us. Tbh still feeling the horrors. Raging depression, no motivation, basically feel hopeless. I'm told it should dissipate in a few days/week. I friggin hope so. I don't know what I would do if I had £50 spare, if I would order a half, or be strong? Feel like shit just makes you want it more.

Well done! I managed not to aswell. I'm the same, got no money. Not sure I could resist if i could afford it.
Fingers crossed these feelings don't last too much longer. I've got a really shit cold and bad chest where I've smoked so much.
Hope you're feeling better soon. We've got this!!!

I caved and got some ffs. Didn't even really do much, now I feel even worse and can't sleep. Spent some of our holiday spending money. I'm an absolute disgrace. Hate myself right now

Please can someone help me

Hi all how is everyone doing? I have previously posted on this thread under FLATWHITE. sharing here with others was an enormous step forward in my recovery process. I had an all consuming coke and alcohol addiction for 18 months and nearly lost it all. I am now two years clean and sober. There is help and hope out there. But you need to keep sharing and connecting

Hi thanks for your post, it does give me hope. One thing I've come to realise is that coke an absolute joy stealer. I'm not in recovery, unfortunately still in the throes of its nasty grip. Having a safe space here helps, knowing I'm not alone. Jezebel hang in there, if it helps share, we're all on this journey, I don't have any answers, but we can try and support each other.

Dontsitdown how are you doing?

Just wrote a really long post and it didn't work ffs.
Hoping we can all support each other, I'm still using although have cut down a bit. Off on holiday Saturday and actually looking forward to not being able to get any. Will hopefully break the cycle.
Let's all keep posting, this is a safe place.
It's so fucking hard. 2 years is amazing, 2 weeks seems impossible at the moment