Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome.
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

We'll help Louis get a Bafta in the documentary category. Hope we're invited to the ceremony so we can get disgracefully pissed celebrating. Ponz I'm sure you'll warm to Mr Theroux after a few drinks

I think we’d end up tempting Louis with a line and then he’d end up being the biggest fiend ever and in a voyeuristic channel 4 doc being gawped at by a nerd in a geeky jumper

That made me laugh Ponz We can all nod sympathetically at him in our best pullovers.

Feeling more like myself today after the cold/cough from hell and my lost weekend. I was so tired this morning. It was a monumental effort to get up for work and I walked just to try and wake my brain up.

I can't carry on with this party lifestyle and work, be a parent, housekeeper and keep up the front of being a respectacle normal person argh it's all too tiring at my age!

Lots of early nights planned..
Hope everyone has a good week x

*I meant respectable, not respectacle

Louis is quite respectacle!!

We're all trying to be respectacle upright members of society here Serial.
I'm treating myself to a Tuesday lager and eating pringles in a dignified fashion.

Tuesday lager here too. No pringles though :(

Pringles are the crack cocaine of the crisp world, very moorish indeed.

Serial I had typed that but it didn't post! He is respectacular.

Respec Dusty

I am French. I need to say something tomorrow when I'm not so French.

Bon nuit la Dust!

I will remind you Madame dusty

Hello everyone, have really enjoyed reading your posts. Bit of wit and humour seems like a good way to approach a messy topic. I’m also a bit fucked up... love C far too much and currently suffering a massive comedown (after calling in sick) MIDWEEK! Couldn’t even wait for the weekend... feeling so shit right now... hoping you won’t mind me hopping on board and chatting... feeling so alone :-(

Welcome Sofia! Alone as in nobody knows, or as in you are suffering on your own? We never learn...I think all of us are either trying hard to wait for the weekend, or dreading/anticipating what it may bring. Can you have a clean one?

Hello Sofia, hope you're feeling better now. Welcome on board!

Welcome Sofia I think you'll fit right in here, hopefully we can help each other. Are you trying to limit it to weekends? (apart from this week)
I quite often get the Mid week Wobble and want to celebrate just because it's Wednesday..so yeah practically the weekend This is my trouble with coke- I'll justify it with the lamest reasons!

That awful feeling of emptiness and dread with a comedown..we've all been there. You're not alone Sofia have a surfboard and hope you feel better soon

Thanks so much for all the replies guys... really appreciate it. I’ve changed from Sofia to Pingu... my favourite show as a kid. Felt wrong using my daughters name for the topic of drugs! I guess by alone I mean that maybe nobody else is like me or does the things I do. I feel so guilty when I think of things I have done drunk and high. Really do not like who I become. I have a very responsible job too... my colleagues would be shocked if they knew the real me! I’m 30 and I promised I would stop on my 30th. Obviously it never happened or I wouldn’t be writing this now... my family know all about my drug use but they think I stopped a few months ago. My mum thinks I might be bipolar... (I’m not I’m just pissed and high or on a comedown) 🤣 I’ve always liked to have a drink and a few lines when out... I discovered coke when I was about 17... used at uni etc. Have had long periods of time without it (two pregnancies and breastfeeding for 7 months with each) but I always seem to slip back into same routine.cant have a drink without craving the stuff so answer is probably not to drink... but I love wine so much! Had a gambling addiction for 10 years also... have finally knocked that on the head (or rather I’m self excluded from every possible online casino there is) was probably borderline alcoholic at one point... Just seem to do everything In extremes! Apart from smoking for some reason... have never had more than a few a day. I can go without C, I was recently abroad for two weeks and had an amazing holiday with Just alcohol. First night back I felt so depressed... so what did I do??? Made myself feel ten times worse that’s what! There’s always a reason... I’m bored... I’ve fallen out with my partner... I’ve just been paid... it’s sunny etc etc... at the moment it’s once a week no more than twice a week. Ideally I’d like to get to once a month or nothing. Massively paranoid about my heart and my brain. I’ve been to aa, na and local drug services... but I need to be careful where I go locally because of my job. And I don’t really connect with the whole 12 step thing. And I just can’t be arsed to leave the house really. Too much effort involved in getting better. Much easier to make a call, grab a bottle of wine pack of fags and a little bag of white powder and feel awesome for a few hours. And then suicidal for 3 days afterwards. It’s barmy really... sorry for the huuuuuuge post!

Hey pingu. Can relate to all of that. The boredom drink drugs cycle. Hiding it. Feeling shite. But not shite enough to want more lines after a drink. Gets such a grip. And so sneakily. Partly cos it almost socially acceptable. Except if you end up taking it on a Wednesday night with Work the next day. Does your partner use? This can be key. I hide it from mine. makes it easier and harder to stop. Best way to stop us to not have any in. My supply is out of town which really is brilliant cod if I ain’t got it I can’t use it . Simple as. I’m over a month clean - mood is amazing. ApRt from the frigging menopause. ☹️

Scuse typos. And sending you a hug pingu. Life with Kids is boring. Cocaine makes it feel interesting. But the payback is too much.

I think that we all identify ping! (that is now your surfing nickname!) I have tried SO hard this year but literally any excuse and I'm on it. I know that compared to last year that I've reduced my use but I just can't stop it. I had a clean weekend last weekend - can't guarantee though that I'll not use tomorrow and spend Saturday with the horrors. I'll try though and that's all we can do.

It really is sneaky ponz. That's a great description.

Hold tight serial

God yes completely agree about the effort involved in getting better Ping. It sounds awful but it's damn hard to keep focused and motivated and it's always there on your mind, having to be self aware all the time and avoiding triggers... that's what I call a mental load!

Sometimes I just want to say Fuck it and give in.

It helps to offload on here that's for sure! It's a relief to be able to be honest about it too.

Ponz you're an inspiration. Giant Silver Surfing trophy is yours.. just don't have it on your mantelpiece when the in laws visit,

Ooh I have excelled myself. Currently in A
& E at a central London hospital I am absolutely fine but drunk too much white wine and headbutted something ??? I'm in so much trouble and smell of sick