Just Surf, feat Lost and The Small Mercies

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hello and welcome to our support thread for anyone struggling with cocaine. Whether you want to quit, cut down or are someone whose life is affected, all welcome.
We offer non judgemental advice, tips, some silly chat and most importantly lots of support and encouragement.

Come and join and we'll all help each other surf the urges!

Morning surfers. Managed a clean albeit slightly flat tedious Friday.

Hope you're not feeling too low this morning Ping, just concentrate on feeling better today, try not to dwell on a come down as everything feels a hundred times worse than it is. Ponz has some great advice.
There's an online support group called SMART recovery as well that you might useful. I'm certain your low moods will improve when you cut back on using. Perhaps aim for next weekend clean? We'll cheer you on! I find setting small goals for yourself really helps.

I'm feeling inspired by the change in you Ponz after a month clean. I've decided keeping busy is the best weekend surfing plan. Can't face another 5k but we're going to take our nieces to a zoo tomorrow so will hopefully stay on board today.

Excellent surfing Serial We can do this and Hooch how are you and your poor head? Probably best to avoid trendy market stalls today!

Just seen your update Hooch glad you're on the mend. You're bound to feel a bit wobbly, it was a horrible experience for you and you sort of can't believe it actually happened, if that makes sense.

Take care today. Typical eh? a sore head after a quiet night in!

I bet you're concussed hooch. Just rest and look after yourself.

Ping, same goes for you!

Hope everyone survived surf Saturday!

Still surfing here Ponz. Had some (sensible) friends round for a few drinks last night and was my surf board was wobbling dangerously when they left but the thought of going out today feeling like death put me off so opted for an early night.

My keeping busy all weekend plan seems to have worked (so far). I'm finding it quite tiring though . Just got home after a day out and I'm knackered.

Hope everyone else is still on board and Hooch hope you're feeling a bit better.
Shouting out on the beach megaphone for Serial, you're very quiet today.

Hello! Been keeping myself busy too. Had an early night last night and a very sensible day today. Am cooking a nice dinner, drinking nice wine and feeling bored shitless!

Ooh busy bee Serial. It's great isn't it doing nice things and feeling ok, but I know what you mean, it's really quite mind numbingly boring.

We will eventually get to a place where we're high on life, let's keep telling ourselves that..

I know! It is nice being normal for a change - and I've not worried about having a heart attack this weekend, and I've not had to apologize to anyone, and I've not had The Horrors. I must remember this feeling every Friday evening!

I feel ridiculously level headed too and I am liking it. There may be something to this straight and sensible business. Not ready to give up the g&t yet though. Trying to last out until 7 for first one as ended up French by 930 last night

Glad everyone has managed to stay surfing. I'm feeling a bit better. Had
a few drinks with a friend last night but nothing else. I'm waking up with the horrors everyday anyway remembering very vaguely Thursday night! Had a silly idea of inviting Mr Rehab over tonight but talked some sense into myself! Aiming not to drink now until Friday. Let's see if that keeps me out of trouble

Yep, all quite calm and collected here.
I think it's going to take a long time for me to stop associating weekend evenings with being on the ceiling and I do miss that lovely buzz but have to keep reminding myself of the gains.

My problem is going a week or two without and thinking I've cracked it. Then thinking I might as well have a couple of lines as I don't have a problem anymore. I need to break that loop somehow.

Enjoy your g & t Ponz it's 7 o'clock

Hello Hooch. Glad you're ok. We've all done something silly on a work night out, well I have loads of times. You can style this out, I'm sure your work mates will be concerned more than anything.

When I said invite someone over to keep an eye on your concussion, I didn't mean Mr. Rehab
Well done surfing through that temptation, glad you're feeling better.

Shout out to Dusty as well. Hope your weekend plans didn't go awry, no judgement here. I just hope you didn't have your head stuck in The Very Tempting Safe all weekend and a bit

I'm taking my sensible self off to bed. Has ponz's shoe been replaced with dusty's safe?!

Goodness gracious, Dusty's safe is the reincarnation of the Ponzshoe.
Night all.

Hi everyone, Cleaning here!

I fell of the wagon big time at the end of Sept after my dad's birthday (to clarify, he passed away, we didn't use together!) but have been tamer lately and settled in at work.

I changed my username because I figured out that there are 10 weeks til Christmas and I really want to save up for a good one. I actually feel unwell when I think about how much cash dh and I have wasted over the years...

Ive eased off on the cleaning a bit lately as my stress levels have generally gone down now that I'm away from cunty director face.

On a separate note, the other day I was really craving so distracted myself by shopping for 80 quid worth of stuff on Amazon- something, anything to show myself how much better it is to have something nice and non-harmful to show for my money. I spent so so bloody long choosing and comparing stuff, it was a real wake-up call as to how rashly we buy wraps compared to other stuff that is actually worth it.

Dh and I found a notebook and every time we want to get stuff we are going to physically write a list of how else we could spend the 80 quid.

Is it sad that I'm more worried about the money more than other things, such as my heart ffs? Probably stems from my mother's comments over the years, my self esteem is generally crap.

I'm going to shut up now and I'm back for good because I'm definitely going to need you ladies up to Christmas and beyond and hopefully I can be of some use and support to you too. Sorry I've been a bit hit and miss. Have a good day all xx

I’ve heard of smart... I like the idea of an online thing so will look into it this week. Am massively depressed at moment... more than usual after I’ve been naughty. Trying to feel positive about a sober Saturday and Sunday! I feel so awful and I know how I could feel so much better... but I know I need to get past this feeling so can start to feel good without getting off my face! I really don’t understand why I do it to myself. I’m massively paranoid about my heart... but also feel physically sick when I think about the money. Hi notsowhite I’m new here xx

Welcome back Cleaning aka NotsoWhiteChristmas!

Glad you're back on track and love your motivational ideas, esp your notebook and treating yourself with the money you've saved!
I'm dreaming of a not so white Christmas too.. let us know how you get on x

I'm pleased you're still on board Ping. Coke doesn't help with your moods does it? Mine are all over the place after a blow out. Sorry you're feeling low and anxious

Just keep inching forwards. You want to change and that's a big thing to admit to yourself. You're doing ok. Today you haven't used so give yourself a pat on the back for that. Start thinking positive.

It's fucking hard to change deep ingrained habits. We all understand.

Hi lost. Feels a bit weird not being Cleaning considers swapping back

Hi to Pingu as well. I rarely get paranoid about my health. Sad really. I think about the money far more often. It's pathetic how I've been conditioned by my mum's thought processes for so many years and led to believe that money makes you happy.

Dh and I are v happy together overall but I do recall speaking to my mum about other people's I'm happy marriages and she always said that ppl should just get on with it if they had a nice lifestyle. My cousin is v overweight with stress and generally being miserable but hey her husband can afford a 4 bed house with 2 bedrooms so why the long face sort of thing. I'm rambling now but the bottom line is that I want to put myself and be bloody selfish. It sounds awful but I have no real desire to go and see her now that my dad isn't there.

I want to do this for him

Pingu- this:

Today you haven't used so give yourself a pat on the back for that. Start thinking positive.

Small steps

Oh and that should have said 2 bathrooms donut

Thank Lost... I'm like you... if I go a couple weeks I think woopy doo I deserve a treat now! And then it creeps back up to twice a week and then its a work night and I think shit what the hell are you doing woman! So currently celebrating 3 days sober... I will feel great if I go this weekend without... and fantastic if I go next weekend without... and hopefully that will keep me going! You guys are great x

I like the idea of treats with the money saved too... I'm desperate to go on a spa weekend with my partner... I always think like a few hundred is really expensive for a night away... I could do it once or twice a month if I didn't do the other thing!

Hey Cleaning aka Notso! Good to have you back. I know what you mean about the money, I've spent so much on it in the past but no point dwelling, it's done. Good idea to write it all down and try treat yourself instead.

Ping, you are doing great. Take it one day at a time and don't over think while you're still a bit down, everything just seems 10 times worse. What's done is done and tomorrow is another day xx