The bishop leads the turkeys out of dangerous waters. Arm bands optional.

[serialtester]

Open!!

Stick some tunes on and peel those spuds like a funky dude.
Just saw your comment on the other thread. INTENSE CRAVINGS does indeed require the caps lock

I must be programmed on a two week relapse cycle because I could really do with some feel good chemicals coursing through my veins right now. Help.

Kinetic I'm popping over to confiscate your bag (and the remains of the wine)!

My tea tonight... Crispy chicken, chips and beans with DD!!
Now that's class ladies

Lost, kinetic has moved house and gone into witness protection.

Pickle, I can so see you in a twin set!

Lost, 2 weeks is your trigger. You can do it. Just take it hour by hour. Play the film, remember how shit you will feel after and put your fucking armbands on.

Ha ha Kinetic is probably frantically name changing and locking her doors now.
Putting my fucking armbands on (over the twinset) and cancelling the cab to Kinetic's house

Enjoy your dinner Pickle that's my kid's favourite.

That's my perfect comfort dinner Pickle - with loads of mayonnaise and hardly any washing up to do afterwards

Lost - 2 weeks is great, keep clinging on that board (but try not to chip your nail varnish!)
I washed the horse today and have had my bath and in pjs already Serial, you're not the only one who is totally ROCK AND ROLL!! 'AVE IT!!!

I'm boiling THE FUCK out of me taters.

Just back from a kids party, lots of wine consuming going on by others I was desperate for a glass but it's a Sunday night ans couldn't handle a Monday hangover and I'm on a diet and the danger zone once I start drinking is magnified so I resisted and came home early.

I will be two weeks next Friday and defo find getting past two weeks a massive challenge but got plans all
Weekend again next week so hoping they will keep me on straight and narrow.

Well I never knew you had to wash horses. That sounds like a job and a half.
I've decided we can have a summer of love festival at your country pad. Surrounded by meadows, friendly clean horses and flowers. It's going to be epic.

Excellent going Got
I have the two week massive challenge too. Cheering you on.

Sounds groovy Lost, I'm linking a daisy chain as we speak ready to wear in my hair. Collectively we've got lots of numbers for gear and wine delivery services - what could go wrong xx

Lost and got, you are doing fantastic. The first week or two is the worst but it does ease after that.

I just haven't been able to get past the wine delivery service today. I mean was it decent wine, not cheap shit stuff. Is there a wine menu? What's the mark up? What's their number?

I want wine delivered to me and i want it right now!

I'm surfing as fast as I can to you Serial I have my sommelier hat on (and snorkel)

I'm thinking our festival can be sponsored by Mr Zig's work so that's the class As sorted. We can all dance barefoot in the fields til the sun comes up and the horses get tired.

Is there a wine menu? serial you're so funny. Does the dealer pour a glass on arrival and ask if it's to your satisfaction? Maybe it's complimentary wine? My dealer really needs to up his game

Dealers really should offer some sort of loyalty card system operating on points. 100 points earns you a wine of choice and fags.

A dealer delivering quality wine AND fags would have my loyalty for life!

But yes, a G = 10 points. At 100 points you get a bottle of whisky?

Or some Tupperware and a set of wineglasses?

Dear Baron Drug Lord of Columbia
I would like to make a complaint about the poor quality and recent inconsistentcy of your product. FFS give me something that doesn't make my nose run for 3 days.
AIBU?

I think I've qualified for the top loyalty prize: a colour tv and a yacht.

Not unreasonable, Dusty I hope you get a reply (and some vouchers). Imagine if you put that in aibu, you'd be eaten alive!

Dear Dusty,

Sorry for the insult to your nostrils. Please enjoy the complimentary wine glasses.

Love,

Drug Lord xx

Ps. Hun, I've got a mate selling Aloe Vera on Facebook. It's amazing for runny noses. Want me to hook you up?!