The bishop leads the turkeys out of dangerous waters. Arm bands optional.

[serialtester]

Open!!

Aw Hun, do I only have to buy 144 and sell them to my mates? Sounds gorjess

Dear Dusty,

A few parties a year selling the aloe will fund your rock and roll lifestyle. And your nostrils will be cured.

By the way, I'm now offering a wine and fag delivery service. I'll match the wine to your dinner, even when it's the chicken dippers of desperation (chardonnay btw)

Love,

Drug Lord xxx

Now you've established a rapport with the drug Lord and he's been so nice, it's only polite to invite him to our Columbian holiday home. Obviously he needs to bring his wares for us to critique and give feedback on.

This isn't just any service, this is the finest Columbian drug Lord service..

I'm quite warming to the guy.

I have messaged the Baron and he has offered us his summer villa in Buenaventura. We just need to bring a few empty suitcases with us.

Suitcases? Gawd, I'm not keen on Columbian jails, dusty

Now off to bed to dream about our new drug Lord friend, thanks for the laughs surfers x

I still haven't caved but it's close this morning, doing the school run then have to go home and tidy... will be a hard day!

Morning all
Hi Kinetic you did brilliantly swerving it this weekend. I found it really hard too, I was very close to getting some yesterday. It was all I could think about .

Sometimes it helps me to stay in the moment, telling myself I'll see how I feel in an hour and keeping really busy and occupied when cravings are bad. Hope that makes sense to you.

You've done a year clean, that's amazing so try to draw on your previous strategies if you can. It's difficult I know, especially as you said you're having a tough time with your ex and stuff.
I'd love to know your story and what your turning point was in coming off cocaine if you want to share. If not, just ignore me!
Keep strong

Hope everyone has a happy Monday x

Ok, my story....

I have BPD, I used to use constantly at uni, moved city to quit as was near death to be honest. Went 5 years clean, had DD in that time. All was great.

5 and a half years ago I got with someone who was a bit of a dealer-he quit dealing 6 months after we met but after 3 months of resisting I caved and started using on a weekend.

3 years after that I was using in secret, drinking a hell of a lot and got myself in such a state I have experiencing psychosis. I had a bad time with my mental health, got put in psych units, almost lost DD. None of my family or health professionals know about my drug use-just about my drinking.

I realised I needed to get better, DP and I quit together but seeing me so ill for so long was too hard for him and he left me. I stayed strong, went to a lot of therapy and cut contact with almost everyone to keep away from temptation. It is hard every day. I like cocaine, more than pretty much anything else unfortunately.

It would be great to be able to just be a social user but I get addicted to everything I touch.

These days I concentrate on hour by hour really, it used to be minute by minute!

Ooh, nearly forgot the good bit, 6 months ago DD and I finally moved back out from my parents after 2 years of being there and are now in a lovely house doing great :)

Just looked back on the thread-sorry-bit crap this weekend and all about me!

The wine cost me a tenner, will have cost him about £7 :) they bring anything you ask for as long as you never buy on tick!

They used to do our 6am booze runs when we were a few g's in and needing more but too wasted and paranoid to leave the house.

Wow what an inspiring story, Kinetic and all power to you for turning things around. You really have been to hell and back and I felt quite tearful reading your post!

I also got into using in my late teens, not just cocaine but Es, speed, weed but cocaine has always been the one. I get it, I can't quite kick my love affair with coke, it's always there like an old friend.

I too stopped my use for several years, had children, was busy with life but then fell back into using on a Friday, then it quickly became all weekend, then maybe a treat midweek..you know the story.

At the moment, I'm trying to stop. I know how this will escalate. Although I'm still slipping up occasionally, this thread has helped enormously.

Hope you stick around for support. x

Any form of cutting down is good, as is being aware it's an issue.

How old are your DC?

Yes I'm aware of the pitfalls. The psychological addiction is so bloody strong though! I've got 2 teen dcs and a 10 year-old.
Your dealers sound amazingly helpful . Mine will offer it on tick which is lethal really.

Keep strong today, kinetic

I've done pretty much every drug going other than heroin, after loving fentanyl after an op so much I knew I would never go back if I touched opiates.

Thank you, my DD is 6, nearly 7. It's just us so I don't get nights off which helps in some ways and hinders in others.

Are your DC aware of your drug use? No judging here at all by the way! I was always a better parent, much more patient, when on Coke.

My dealers are lovely but expensive! Very, very strong stuff, just opened the bag for a little smell without a sniff and it smells better than ever!

I bend over backwards to hide it from dc, but I'm not sure if the older ones notice we have people over late at night, or we're talking at the tops of our voices at 2 in the morning . I would be quite devastated and ashamed if they knew to be honest.

Gah! Don't open the bag! Hide it or chuck it! Out of sight, out of mind.. You can do this!

I can't chuck £120 away!!!

Fair point
Maybe just put it away and see how you feel later today? If I start on it, I won't stop til it's gone, if you see what I mean.
Good luck x

I'm guessing my tolerance will have gone down dramatically! It would last a day I'd hope but would have used to last 3 hours :/

You've done so well kinetic. I think putting the bag away for a bit is a good plan.

It sounds like you've really been through it kinetic and how you've managed to turn your life around on your own is amazing. You must be very proud of what you've achieved as it sounds like you went to hell and back. Well done for resisting - I know how fucking hard it is. Keep on surfing x

We're all cheering you on! Maybe get out for a bit for a walk or something just to clear your head.

Chuck it if you can, there's something in your head telling you this is not such a great idea. I'm all too familiar with the coke brain logic that sometimes takes over all rational thought.

Let us know how you get on, good or bad I'll have your surfboard ready!

I'm really proud but it is a struggle every day, being self aware is tiring!

You all sound to be doing so well-it's lovely to find a group of people who don't just say "Coke head?! Your kids should be taken from you and you should be in prison".

You should be proud of how far you've come. Getting on a negative trip helps no one!

Do dealers do refunds? Is there a cooling off period for the customer I wonder...