Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

I would book for Sept and see if cancels me

if she does I would ask what the issue is

I would let it go; it might be better to not know what the problem is.

So she said she'd message you once she was up and running. You saw she got up and running, yet waited months before messaging her to book in? Well of course she's going to be booked up!
It sounds to me it's much more likely she just forgot to message you, especially if she was in the throes of trying to set up her own business and potentially having lots of messages from many other previous clients too.
She's offered you an appointment - so take it. I think you're taking this all way too personally. If she didn't want to book you in she wouldn't have offered you an appointment.

I wonder if it just isn’t financially worth it if it takes so long?!

A similar thing happened to me with a hairdresser. I thought she was very nice. I ‘followed’ her from one salon to another. At one stage, she came to my house to do my hair (cash payment). I rang the salon to make my next appt and was told she had gone travelling. I sent her a msg on FB wishing her well on her travels. Now admittedly that might have been weird for her but we were around the same age and she had told me about breaking up with her boyfriend and I had shared similar stories. She never replied. Some time later I found out she had returned and was working in the same salon. I was too embarrassed to book her again.

I would book for September

I’d book for September and not give it another thought.

It could be anything...do you frequently cancel appointments or no-show? Turn up late? Book for a gel manicure and then turn up and ask for biab and nail art? Do you always pay what's due and tip? Take ages deciding what colour and design you want? Have awkward shaped nails?

Do you smell? My friend had to stop seeing a client because she stunk so bad her clients after her would comment on it. Or had one so overweight she buckled the legs on the chair.

It could be none of those things and she's just flakey.

This is true I did wait. I felt like since I sent the two other first messages, maybe sending a third would be overkill. And whilst she was getting up and running, she would be busy. I just never thought she wouldn’t message. In hindsight maybe I should have messaged ages ago.

Never don’t show or cancel. Actually she has had to rearrange a few times but I was always ok with that. Was late once in four years due to traffic and called. She did seem a bit off that day but I said sorry. Don’t tip but buy generous presents for birthday and Christmas. Never changed what was booked. Yes did take a while choosing but we shared ideas and she would bring options to show me as well.
Don't think I smell, I shower every day. Don’t think there anything wrong with my nails. We would laugh the whole time, saw her for two hours every 3 weeks so shared a lot of stories etc. I’m at a lost as to why unless it’s just not worth it due to the time the extra art takes.

Part of me does think this but then I think I’d have to sit there across from her for 2 hours plus knowing she has been working for months and didn’t contact me. Sadly I just feel this particular working relationship has ended.

If she was concerned over the extra time it takes to do your nail art she could increase her rate for that type of work

She must be charging you for the nail art though, so she's being paid for her time? Most nail techs here take £5-£7 per nail for nail art, on top of manicure costs.

She never wanted to in the shop due to her wanting the opportunity to practice her skills. However I would of course pay for the extra time. She hasn’t mentioned anything about cost so I have no idea what she would/is charging.

Maybe you give her the ick. Or she just doesn’t like you. Does it matter? Why so invested?

I suspect this is it. She was undercharging before, and now she feels awkward because she wants to charge you significantly more for the same service. It’s sometimes easier to just take on new clients in this situation.

The lack of tips may well have something to do with this.

It’s very hard to find a good beautician so that’s why I care. And I can’t believe she has faked being friendly for the last 4 years. Including sending me funny TikTok’s etc. I don’t expect to gel with everyone. For example my hairdresser does a good job but we don’t have a giggle or anything, in fact I take a book and try and read rather than make small talk. The not knowing why is what’s difficult.

Maybe, though I preferred to give nice presents instead.

I'm thinking maybe she put the ad out, lots of people messaged for regular appointments and she could accommodate eight away. If she'd had to order special/ extra materials for nail art, maybe she didnt bother in the end or simply forgot to let you know, if at that point she had many bookings.

But I'm personally not keen on that much chasing. If a business doesnt want my money then I dont bother 🤣 I get it though, she's clearly very good and it's something important to you.
The other alternative is, she really is avoiding you and trying hard to put you off. Probably cant be arsed with "complicated" nail art ;)) she told you she "loves it" when she worked at the salon cause she couldn't reject you there, if she was their employee. Probs lied about you being her favourite client too, people in these kind of jobs appear very friendly but doubt they give much of a shit in reality. If you were a favourite client, you'd have been first on her list!

You are just one of dozens of clients. It’s part of her job to make you feel welcome and do some chatting and over time I’m sure she did share some more personal things with you, but you are still just a client. In her move she probably had loads of people she said she’d contact and frankly just forgot you. If she was getting booked up she didn’t need to chase you and probably hardly noticed that you hadn’t contacted her. Now you have and she’s busy so either take the appointment or don’t - it’s not personal.

is there any chance she is gay? I had a gay tutor go funny on me once, turned out she had fancied me, told her girlfriend and then had gone weird around me.

This is what I hate about tip culture. Charge me what you want to be paid! I hate guessing what the right amount of tip is, when to give and who to (in a hair salon where more than one person might various things).

100%. You sound a little too invested in this ‘relationship’. Maybe that has something to do with it. Or she has not given you a thought when she has started up again, nothing personal, but you are one of many and she hasn’t thought to contact specifically you.

When you're a paying client, these people are not your friends. It's sales. They'll tell you all sorts. Some will be genuine, of course, but best to play it safe and assume it's a spiel for the custom / tips. When money is involved, it can never be a relationship of equals so best off just moving on - she does your nails! It's not even worth a minute of thought!

It's probably not 'just doing her nails', though. There can be any number of gifted practitioners, but vanishingly few who really get what you want and can deliver.

In what I suppose may be a mirror image of OP's problem, I found THE hairdresser who instantly got me and my hair. Every cut was perfect for me - and done in about twenty minutes, as no discussion or adjustment was needed. Also, he was famous and charged me mate's rates. We got along well. The last time I saw him, he made it clear he'd like us to have sex. I was blindsided, declined gracefully, and never saw him again.

I sometimes wonder if I made the right decision 😂 but the point is, I've never had such a brilliant haircut again and doubt I ever will. I get that OP feels she's lost a service that means a lot to her, and also a relationship she valued. If I were you, @notamumyet2010, I'd go in September and see how it feels to catch up on the missing months.