Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

If she was spending ages doing nail art and not charging you should have really tipped, nice presents are thoughtful but don't pay the bills

Two hours plus for nail art she can probably make 3x that with 3 clients that just come and have a colour tbh ! Whatever her price is for nails at least double is what you should be paying. Do you always want an evening slot too ?

I think she was really nice to you because that’s how you treat beauty clients. You want them to come back because they enjoyed the half an hour or whatever plus you want to enjoy your job. I’d move her to acquaintance level in your mind and switch to tips, not presents. Maybe she is booked up until September if she’s that good and only has a few slots a week along with her main job.

she's a professional client facing person. Her return business depends on being personable and making you feel like you have been fussed over and cared for. Her 'sharing' with you will be repeated possibly verbatim with many other clients who like to chat, and her interest in your life and views will be switched off at the end of your appointment time. It's a bit like thinking your doctor really cares about you. Yes they do, as much as they care about their 1.5k other patients.

if you like the way she does your nails and feel she provides good service and value obviously book her when you can. If you want her to be your friend then i'm sorry but this is not that

i know how tough it is to be a lonely adult, and how much someone socially skilled being kind and seemingly interested in you can sort of sweep you away. I thought our childminder was going to be my new and much wanted friend, but then she got me muddled up with another client and i twigged the above. Embarrassing and a bit sad, but a sign i suppose of my own unmet needs that i probably needed to do something with. Best wishes to you OP

Being nice doesn’t usually include social media contact outside of the treatments…

I would assume it’s the nail art. Too time-consuming; she can see 2/3 normal gel clients in this time.

I think it's the nail art too. It should cost at least double if it takes double the time plus extra effort/materials.

I am also wondering how much you are paying for two hours of nail art?
A one hour appointment now costs me nearly £40. Are you paying twice that?

Actions speak louder than words. She doesn’t want you as a client. As PP indicated, I expect others tip and you don't. 'Gifts' are irrelevant.

The lack of tipping will be the issue. I always (genoursly) tip my hairdresser, nail person, brow lady- this is basic social skills?!!

Just book for September. Her reviews could be from clients who booked through the spa. Or one off private weddings etc.

Book, attend and go from there.

Going from a salon to pretty much working for herself could be quite challenging for some people. Maybe setting up along with doing all the communication is just something that she hasn't been great with.

If you love her work, I would book for September. She probably is booked until then. My hairdresser is in high demand, I've got my appointments already booked from now until April 2027.

As everyone else has said, it’s the lack of payment for the nail art. I don’t tip beauty therapists, but if I was getting part of the service free I absolutely would.

For context, in the holidays my daughter gets her nails done and gets beautiful nail art. I always have normal builder gel nails on, and nail art is not my thing. Her nails cost twice what mine cost - we are up north and her last set were £70.

She will probably be feeling awkward because when her time is her own, she is not going to be doing things for free and it’s much easier to find a client who has paid that price from the start than have the awkwardness of having to tell you the cost will be double.

You are also insanely over invested in this. Social media adverts inviting people to book, and instead of messaging to book you waited for her to invite you personally? You categorically do not mean as much (anything!!) to her as she means to you. She isn’t going to message everyone individually, she’s announced it on social media - and you ignored it.

It’s the nail art. She’s taking longer than anyone else and was likely saying she likes doing it to be polite. It’s not in fashion anymore so she isn’t gaining valuable skills doing it.

You could try for September and see but I think she’ll likely cancel you.

Just book for September. She was busy setting up a new business. It seems like she has been very successful and didn’t need you to book in. I’m sure if she hadn’t had so many bookings she would have messaged you! This is a business relationship for her, not a friendship.

There's an easy way to check if it's pricing. She would probably have been paid an hourly rate for the work she did, so it didn't really matter to her about the nail art taking time.

Message her back and say 'please let me know your prices. I realise you may have to charge for the nail art now. Obviously I'm happy to pay for it as you do such a good job.' or similar. And when she gets back with the price, message back and say 'Thanks! Please let me know if you get a cancellation, meantime please book me in for September'.

You'll get an appointment and she won't have to admit that it was about the money.

(I can't guarantee this will how it go, but I'm pretty sure if money was the reason, this will smooth things over).

Nice presents might not be nice to her. They might not be things she uses. They might be things she already has ten of. They might be luxuries, when what she needs are the basics.
Money means more to a business person than items. She can then choose to pay her rent and food bills. Not sit and stare at something that someone else thought was nice .

I don't think it is basic social skills to tip all of these people. There have even been multiple threads on the subject. I'd say to tip hairdressers is the most common but a lot of people don't. I also think you're deliberately trying to make OP feel bad framing it that she doesn't have 'basic social skills' which frankly is a shitty thing to say.

Op I think maybe she didn't want to invest in an extensive kit for nail art (assuming yours tends to be more than just basic nail art at 2 hours?) and she didn't want to have the awkwardness of you being there and not having what she needs to do the design you're asking for. Have you seen her recent work on FB or insta, what does it look like she's doing?

I think you are looking too much into this! In your last message you asked if she was taking on new clients - she could have just lied and said she doesn’t have any spaces if she didn’t want to see you but she didn’t.

If previously she was paid by the salon , the nail art might have been a welcome break from back to back clients.
I think it’s time and money now she’s self employed.

Gifts are not as nice as tips. Would you appreciate a boss who said “theres no pay rise this year but you will get expensive candles at Christmas and on your Birthday?

I have never ripped my nail person tho at Xmas I do give £10

what did you pay for your nails @notamumyet2010 and have prices increased

This will be the issue. She'd need to charge a lot more or the nail art and maybe it just isn't worth it anymore because she can make more profit by fitting more clients in for other treatments.

Don’t tip but buy generous presents for birthday and Christmas. Never changed what was booked. Yes did take a while choosing but we shared ideas and she would bring options to show me as well.

And this!! She wasn't charging you extra for the nail art, you paid a bit more for extra time but you didn't tip despite her providing an additional service.
Birthday and Christmas presents don't mean that's it's ok not to tip.

I'd leave it now and find someone else because she's made it clear she doesn't want your business.

I would imagine that she no longer wants to offer the free nail art but feels awkward telling you
When you book you could make it clear that you’re willing to pay for it ( ask for her price list ) . Perhaps when you see her you’ll be able to gauge if there’s an atmosphere and take it from there

Never mind, I've seen the updates.

Yeah, if you're taking lots of time up but not giving her appropriate financial incentive then you're not a great client.

I dont tip (cant afford to and don't believe in it as a culture anyway) but you really shpuld be paying for the time she takes.

And, know what you want done before you go. You are wasting her time and causing delays for future appointments by taking up more time than has been allocated to you while you think about your design. That's not fair on her or her other clients.

She probably prefers clients who tip. How often are you giving her presents? No matter how nice you think the gifts are, she isn't your friend and a tip is a more appropriate gesture of appreciation.