Why doesn’t she want me as a client?

[notamumyet2010]

This is such a first world problem, I’m almost embarrassed to speak about it but it’s really playing on my mind so I would love some opinions.
For years, I’ve been seeing a beautician for nail art. She was amazing, really talented and I thought we got on really well. I knew she also worked from home and after a couple of years I asked if she was looking for some home clients and she said no not at the moment due to time/space. Fair enough. I thought.
Anyway start of this year, she lost her job, it was very sudden as the place went under. She messaged me telling me what happened and I expressed empathy. After a week or so I saw on social media she was telling people to message her if they want to book in with her at home. Straight away I sent her a message and she responded saying she was just waiting for some materials to arrive and she would message me to let me know once she was up and running. I saw again on her socials she was seeing clients. I waited for a message and nothing. I was super confused as I really thought we got on well and I was a regular client. I left it for a while thinking she was probably getting things sorted, and it takes a while I’m sure. Well it’s been months now and I thought hell I’m going to send her one more message. So I texted asking how she is and is she taking more clients on. She said yes and she’s working hard including at a local spa. No mention of me booking in with her. I was like ok this is odd, decided to be brave and ask outright. “Can I book with you?, only I never heard from you” I get a strange message back saying she would be willing to do my nails but is fully booked till September!
I feel like for some reason she certainly doesn’t want me as a client, I have racked my brains for a reason and the only one I can think of is I ask for nail art every time which takes more time. However she did always say she loves it as she gets to be creative and all her other clients are boring. In fact she called me her favourite client.
Obviously sadly you guys will be no wiser as to why this has happened or what I’ve done, but my question is…..would you book in for September or just accept that for whatever reason this client/beautician relationship has ended?
It’s such a shame as she really is sooo talented but I just feel this has probably tainted the relationship now anyway.
Thanks for reading if you got this far!

As I say, I rarely tip. I don't believe in it and cant afford it anyway.

However, if you want to do something special for her birthday and Christmas, just give her cash. I'm sure the gifts are well thought out but you don't know her and honestly I'd rather have £15 than a posh candle or whatever and most professionals are the same.

I'm a nail tech and to me it sounds like she is full. She is a popular nail tech who has lots of clients to book in. She doesn't need to chase you. You were waiting for her to message you after she had set up but it seems she is spoilt for choice and doesn't need to chase you. She has offered you September. If you want the appointment take it otherwise leave her alone. Honestly you seem needy and I find your response to her setting up on her own a bit OTT. Maybe she doesn't want you as a client anymore. Maybe you are off putting as a client. Maybe you have awkward nails that take longer to do and she doesn't like doing them. Maybe you bite or rip your nail enhancements off. Maybe you nitpick or change your mind a lot during the service. Maybe you complain about having to pay fairly for the service you receive. Maybe you buy inappropriate presents rather than tip. Maybe it takes time to set up your own business and she did not need to chase you down to be a customer. There are many reasons clients get ditched by beauticians or nail techs.

Definitely do exactly what tilypu said, it’s about the money and you need to acknowledge that it will be more expensive now as it takes more time.

I wouldn’t tip either, actually my hairdresser said not to when she moved from the salon to home.

She is your only nail technician. You are one of multiple clients. This means the 'relationship' is more meaningful to you than her. So while you are actively waiting to be contacted by her, to her, you are a tiny part of her working life, forgotten as soon as the appointment is over, and easily overlooked in the rather vague system she has had of late for arranging clients.
I don't say this to put you down, just to give perspective that it's unlikely to be personal because it's not a personal relationship to her.
I'd imagine the responses she gave have been likely true at the time and contacting you with updates has been overlooked.
Why not just book September with her and see what happens?

There’s no way she’s booked until
September. Regular clients couldn’t wait two months from one set to another. Maybe she thought you were difficult, or too time consuming. I’d find someone else.

If someone was going to the effort you describe and not charging the usual rate then I’d absolutely be tipping. I think most would so feel you may have your answer

She is really busy. Good people always are!

Im a massage therapist with mostly regular clients I'm fully booked until mid September. The regulars book months in advance so they aren't waiting but the appointments aren't available.

I’m surprised I get an appointment anywhere if that’s true, it would never enter my head to tip.

Let it go. It doesn’t sound like you’ve done anything wrong and I agree it seems she doesn’t want you as a client. You’ll probably never know why. It would bother me too and I’d be wracking my brain, but you just need to move on, I’m sure you’ll find someone else.

She probably is just busy and doesn't think of you in the same way you do her. If you were to layer something on top of it though, if she has been doing nail art for you every three weeks for 4 years she is no longer in practicing her skills territory and should be charging you appropriately, your long appointment isn't cost effective for her. (I also would be wary of bringing someone I thought wanted a friendship relationship with me, buying me generous gifts etc. rather than a client relationship where I am tipped, into my home. However lots of people are likely fine with that)

Okay so despite the fact shecwas obviously undercharging you, you didn't tip? I think its this. Normally i am very anti-tipping but this is the one time I would have said it was appropriate - she was only charging you for a regular gel manicure but was actually delivering customised nail art, spending 2 hours. That warranted a tip.
And instead you told yourself you were helping her practise her skill....

I think she doesn’t want to tell you she is charging more for nail art now and is avoiding an awkward conversation.

If you like her, I would book in for September and ask if the prices are the same or has she increased them to give her the opportunity to tell you or not?

People aren’t perfect, some get really anxious about asking for more money. And if you like the nails she does then I would stick with it.

I'd say it's to do with the lack of tip. You were getting an absolute bargain if she's doing nail art at the same price of normal nail paint. You should have been tipping. I'd find birthday gifts weird tbh and gifts are not the same as money, you pay your leccy bill with a candle.

You're not worth the work, she earns more from others so prioritised them.

I think she is just probably really busy and forgot. However 2 hours on nails and free nail art to then be given no tip, that’s a lot of effort from her and deserves a tip.

I think you were being to polite. I would have asked earlier to book at appointment. I do understand the not being too pushy.
Ask for price list, but she should already have that set up on Facebook or website etc. I prefer it if the website has a booking system.
💅

Part of me does think this but then I think I’d have to sit there across from her for 2 hours plus knowing she has been working for months and didn’t contact me. Sadly I just feel this particular working relationship has ended
I think.you are taking this too personally and blurring the lines between being friends and her being professional.

It's her job to chat and be friendly with her clients, she will be the same with everyone.
I think you are just another client and you are thinking too deep about this.
If you like her work book in. There's no need to cut your nose off to spite your face.

Going against the grain here but I think she's flaky and I would move on.

You've been perfectly friendly and nice to her and she's constantly putting you off or not replying. Thats not really great behaviour for someone trying to start a business. I run a business and if someone was having to chase me for an appointment that would indicate to me that I wasnt managing my clients well. Its very foolish for her to be so blasé about it because there may come a time when clients dwindle and not getting back to people when you've promised you would is a sign that someone simply isnt reliable.

I'd be moving on and dropping her.

If it was me, I’d book for September and forget about it until then. If she cancels then, well you have your answer, just move on.

I wonder if maybe you just kind of “fell through the cracks” in what must have been a really busy and stressful time for her - ie losing her job, shifting working arrangements. Did you get lost in all the admin and instagram DMs etc?

Or, she is worried about having to explain a price increase?

If she is great at her work and you want to continue, I would book on for September and maybe message and talk to her then?

I doubt it is because she doesn’t want you as a client, from what you have said.

She is just too busy I expect.

Another vote for @tilypu’s suggestion.

Address the cost issue up front then you will know.

There are always going to be time when you worry whether you are being given the brush off. Learning how to get clarity when a potentially awkward situation arises is great life experience . It will be easier for you to work it through next time it happens rather than just block someone.

How much did you pay for the 2 hour manicure and nail art? Did she change extra for the nail art or what the price the same as a regular manicure? How long would it normally take if you did just a manicure (no nail art)?

I think I’d just find another nail technician and move on. Personally I couldn’t be arsed chasing someone about like this. I don’t understand why you’re chasing her so much and maybe this is the issue she has with you. As another pp said, you seem far too invested and maybe she can sense this. When people feel like someone is too overbearing then they will go out of their way to avoid them.

OR it could be that she just sees you as just ‘another client’ and she is operating on a first come first served basis and that she is now booked up until September 🤷‍♀️

I don’t get why you didn’t pay extra for nail art each time

my infills biab are £30. Nail art I think is £3/5 per finger. I don’t really have it done so not 100% of prices

but why didn’t she charge you an extra £30/50 on top. Esp if in a salon