Fuck what I can I wear to this wedding?

[dumpydumpydumpdump]

Son getting married this summer. Her mum is 6ft and slender. She's going to look incredible as MOB

I am short, fat (22-24) and with massive boobs. Like huge!

Feeling a bit panic stricken now.
Don't even know what I want to wear let alone find it.

I like patterns but don't want to look like upholstered armchair.
Like most colours, complexion is fair, mousy hair.

No overt cleavage on show. Calves also fecking hug3 so not too short.

Maybe hat. But I look silly in anything small because of massive boobs and tummy.

Arse also size of a small country.

I am perfectly happy with my size mostly, certainly no motivation to starve. But wtf am I going to wear? I'm going to let him down by looking fucking awful. I jus5 want something chic and comfortable.

Budget - not bothered. I was going to look at bombshell but they gone bust. All the MOB/MOG stuff seems to be for thin elegant Carole Middleton types. Love Carole btw. But I need something for a Miriam Margoles shape.

I find Scamp and Dude and Sugarhill Brighton my go to brands for big boobs. Particularly shirred dresses. I'm not tall so sometimes have to have these altered at hem a bit. But that's easily done.

I definitely agree with this advice. Get the bra-they can take years and pounds off. Arrange a John Lewis personal shopper. It’s a very useful experience.

Go to a recommended hair stylist and request a vava voom new haircut with new colour ( highlights/lowlights/ et al). Get an in store makeover, or two, ( MAC are pretty good). Doing this should boost your confidence and make choosing an outfit so much easier. Good luck 🤞

I went to my siblings wedding in the autumn at size 20 5ft 6. I got a lovely flattering dress from Scarlett & Jo. There are many different styles and can be ordered through Next too. I tried on 5 different styles and sizes before I found the perfect one. I highly recommend having a look.

The personal shopper in John Lewis in Oxford Street struggles to find many clothes above a size 18 in my experience.

I hadn’t realised that.

Blue - let the bride have HER glory on her day

With a sense of humour like yours, poster, who cares what you wear? If I were at the wedding, I would love to talk to you - you sound amazing!
I hope it all goes well and you have a great time!