Les Parisiennes des Mamansnet: JesusFlo Superstar in a Back Lit Kaftan (Toyboy Not Included)

[botemp]

Lovers of Parisian style and fashion with a conscious mindset and lots of chatter in between.

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Favoured Parisian addresses:

Second Hand Shops

Outlets

Favoured London addresses:

Charity Shops, Dress Agencies, and Outlets

Favoured NYC addresses:

Consignment shops, Vintage, and Restaurants

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Previous threads:

Un

Deux

Trois

Quatre

Cinq

Six

Sept

Huit

Neuf

Dix

Onze

Douze

Treize

Quatorze

Quinze

Seize

Dix-sept

Glad the funeral went well. It's amazing what you can learn about people from eulogies.

I really liked Porto even though I can't remember much about what we did there. The waterfront is lovely - very picturesque and great for random wandering and people watching, plus all the port houses do guided tours where the Europeans sip elegantly on their free booze while the Brits neck it down. Then there's the The Livraria Lello - the bookshop that's said to have inspired Harry Potter. You can also get local trains (or was it a tram or even a bus?) to the some seaside towns with very simple but fantastic fish restaurants. And then..... honestly I can't think of any other actual big sights, I just thought it was a lovely, chilled, atmospheric city.

It is good to hear your GM had a good send off Bo. It sounds like she was a strong lady in her time.

I haven’t been in the north of Spain for a good 15 years , the coast there is lovely I really like that part of Spain.

I will message you Bo regarding Antwerp. It is proving difficult for a variety of reasons not least that I might need to jump in the plane probably June to see my family down south as they had a very difficult couple of months, luckily they are well/better now but has been tricky. This thread amongst other things keeps me from overthinking probably been pushing things under the carpet if someone tries to analyse me

Sorry Desmond I know you were asking more about S&B opportunities around Porto but I'm afraid I have none. In fact I can't even remember going into any shops although I'm sure I must have done otherwise I wouldn't have enjoyed it so much. Troubling.

And sorry Red I hadn't absorbed your post properly. Hope your family are ok.

Sorry to hear your family has been having trying times Red, must be extra difficult with the distance.

Porto is a really nice city and area but I haven't been for a while. My uncle has a second home there so he always took us everywhere and I don't remember what was where now. I'm not really familiar with that part of Spain, only the other way Bilbao, San Sebastian, Basque country etc. which I adore and much prefer to the rest of Spain (Madrid excluding). Are you taking the boat from Plymouth, Desmond?

Red, very sorry that your family is experiencing troubled times and that you may need to be the cavalry. It's especially worrying when they are thousands of miles and oceans away. I hope you can help get things sorted out.

Very many thanks, bo, for the useful tips on what to keep an eye out for on the shopping front. We're mostly in the stretch from Braga to Aveiro and I shall definitely keep my eyes peeled for top quality seconds. I will locate said shoe town on my map and engineer a route through it.

We have a flat booked for 10 days in Porto, actually just outside the city, on the Douro and will travel out from our base to explore each day. The Livraria Lello is likely to be a highpoint, and doubtless a boat trip, plus there are some good gardens, as well as the people watching and the food. Everyone has been telling us for years just how wonderful Porto is, so we are very excited! DH is taken with the notion of retiring in Portugal so this is something of a reconnoitre.

Yes, we're taking the Plymouth ferry because it is much the easiest way to travel and (as long as the weather is reasonable) 22 hours on a ship is a great start to any holiday for me. And no luggage restrictions.

Thank you all for the messages, it is appreciated.

Does anyone have experience in reformation dresses (I am thinking of you Bo?) I saw one in a preloved site, they do not look nothing fancy, just a wrap dress below the knee … but I understand the cut etc makes them quite desirable, is that right? Are they worth the hype?
for £40 thinking in trying one? It is red with white small flowers, so nothing on the latest trends … and one may say been done quite a lot perhaps, or is it a classic to stay?

I’m sorry to hear about the family issues red and hope things pick up/go ok and you enjoy the trip too. Also interested in the reformation info, I’ve often wondered this! They look nice on the models but why so much hype and when on real people do they just gape wildly at the top and flap to show knickers at the bottom like so many wrap dresses/ slip dresses with leg slits…

Poppy, Red, and anyone else visiting Amsterdam early May, there's a Vintage Stock Sale on, on the 6th, that might be of interest. Pretty centrally located, they usually have some nice items but if you're used to bargain priced UK charity shop prices, prepare for sticker shock.

WRT Reformation, Red, I've only been to their UK Shoreditch shop and left in sticker shock. Although that was mostly over the secondhand clothes they were selling. Like bootleg band shirts for a £150. And it wasn't even a cool band, I'm trying to remember now who it was, but maybe something like Genesis, not even in an ironic haha way could that work at £150 in my mind. The dresses themselves, eh, overpriced for not very special fabrics IMO, but people seem to feel amazing in them so I guess there's that factor. I think Elle might own a dress? I definitely remember her going to the shop in NYC and it had fancy changing rooms where some robot/staff member would deliver a different size into your room with a tablet set up. Iirc she liked the things at Cuyana better though (which still doesn't seem to be expanding internationally).

botemp I'm glad the funeral went well. Nice to feel you learned something about her too.

Red sympathies on the family trouble. WRT Reformation I think that the dresses are generally cut to flatter - or in general work well for my body type maybe? The construction is decent, but the fabric is generally not the quality I expect for that price point. They use a lot of viscose. It's better than a Zara viscose for instance, and I haven't had any issues with holes or washing or anything, but I balk at €200 for a viscose dress. The silks are very thin. I have a top in silk where I fell for the gorgeous rust colour and folded neckline, but in a dress I feel like the thin fabic would be too unforgiving on me. As botemp says I found Cuyana much much better quality at a similar price, though it years since I bought there and it's a different style. That's said, at €40 second hand, the price seems fair if you've like the dress. I've sold 2 Reformation dresses with ease on Depop so I think you'd sell it on easily enough if it wasn't for you. I've always felt good in anything I tried on in Reformation.

Thank you Elle for the feedback, I will think about it.
I will look at that Bo, speaking of charity shops I grabbed a tomato red linen shirt from toast for a tenner, great condition.

Thanks for the tip Bo: sadly, I'll be back home by the 6th. I'm glad the funeral and outfit went well, and wow at her having been asked to be a cabinet minister and declining - quite a woman. I'm sorry to hear about the family issues red.

I had to Google Reformation dresses. They're not really my kind of thing so I wouldn't set too much store by my opinion, but I was reminded of that early noughties wrap dress craze and what a number they did on us with all that PR about how they suited every shape and every occasion. So I'm sceptical but I might also be totally wrong. In fact you're probably going to tell me you've already got it Red and it's the best dress ever I like the sound of your Toast linen shirt though!

The other thing I should maybe say about The Reformation is that the short dresses are skirt are…well…short, properly short if you’re tall like me.

Effortless enjoy Porto – the food is meant to be fabulous.

What are we all using for packing away knitwear? Do you include cedar or something else to ward off moths. Mind you I’ve never noticed that I have an issue with moths..touches wood cedar

I haven’t seen any real dressing up at work either, and in fact I think dressing down is here to stay. In line with the broader trend for quiet luxury I’m seeing a lot more loafers, tailored trousers and luxurious knits. There are some who have religiously stuck to the power dress and heels combination but it feels quite dated to me now. I must admit that when I’m presenting to the board I do dig out a Fold dress and heels or trousers, silk shirt and blazer because sometimes it’s better just to wear the accepted uniform. On non-meeting days I will even wear trainers albeit the Isabel Marant type as opposed to Nike running shoes. Today I’m in split hem thick jersey leggings, black ballet flats and a cream oversized knit. Since it’s taken me two days to draft and post this I can add that the day after I’m wearing straight leg jeans turn up, black loafers and a dark green silk shirt and a green herringbone wool Isabel Marant bomber jacket from probably a decade ago. Bombers are one of those things that are sometime touted as classic, but IMO do go in and out of style.

To answer your question about the funerals I think it’s a Catholic thing. Can anyone confirm if Spain, Italy etc are the same? It can make things a little tricky for travellers, but in general it runs like a well-oiled machine. Are we all up to date with Succession---à Spoiler alert below I’ll try to be vague too.

Watching the latest episode I was struck by how badly Americans (or at least those portrayed) seem to handle death. In Ireland that would have kicked off a series of events where everyone know what to say and what to do. Someone would have been calling the priest and the undertakers while someone else would been reviewing proofs for the orders of service with 24 hours. The broader family whatsapp group would have been hopping with logistics of who was going where for the removal, wake and funeral and everyone would know what to say to the bereaved; it’s not awkward at all.

S&B does seem to have emotions running particularly high at the moment and there’s a sort of sneery tone that I haven’t necessarily noticed so much before. It’s going both directions IMO, so I see both the withering eye-rolling that anyone should dare to give a damn about fashion and the unnecessary mean girls tone when someone tries to make a helpful suggestion that really isn’t very stylish. It feels like everyone is looking for an excuse to jump down one another’s throats.

All I noticed re Reformation was all the long dresses were ruined by having thigh high splits.

Hmm not sure how fair it is to pin that on the Americans, the Roys are just really awful at being a family (and I'm not sure any of them are actually American? Dad's Scottish, mum's English, and yes I'm purposely forgetting the eldest son 😎). Also, for all their fancy degrees they're rather inept at the practical stuff (not that unusual with one percenters).

Southern European Catholics definitely grief more extraverted but I'm not sure if it's the same as Ireland. Not with the special websites, turning up to people's funeral who you have a very tangential connection to, etc. I've always wondered whether it had to do with the potato famine, I can imagine if people are dying in such numbers the line between what is family and what is community becoming eroded.

WRT moths, I stick everything in vacuum sealed bags (the ones you use with a hoover). I do have moths and that seems to keep it safe, accidents do happen but it's usually manageable. Someone on here recommended zip top bags from IKEA, from the kitchen department, extra large ones that fit a jumper each, that could be handy for when you just want to take a couple out.

Hello all. I am enjoying the chat about funerals, different cultural reactions and so on. My observation is that our rich western world knows all there is to know about sex and nothing about death. In fact, thinking about it Death seems to be dirty now in the way sex was for the Victorians. 😂

And @ToEllewithIt I have witnessed what you describe in Ireland.
Mind. Blown.

And yes, everyone knows what to say! How? How do they kknow what to say.No matter who dies, how they die those people know what to say.

Meanwhile the Victorians were as obsessed with death as we seem to be with sex nowadays 🧐 something profound could be made of that, or tawdry (looking at you, France, and la petite morte which is code for an orgasm).

I am curious about the Irish and knowing exactly what to say. What is this great secret knowledge, and where does one acquire it (just going to lots of funerals?). I hate nothing more than the word 'sorry' in response to saying someone close to you died but I do get why everyone feverishly grabs on to that word.

What is this great secret knowledge

I would like some!

I never know what to say, and resort to extreme eyebrow movement probably adding to the trauma of the moment!

i saw what felt like the entire small
town turn out for a funeral when I was on holiday in South West France years ago and what struck me was that most people looked like they had turned up in clean versions of their everyday clothes (from whatever their everyday life entailed eg brown overall coat for Ironmonger or what have you). I really liked it, it made death so much more matter of fact and underlined that in some
way they were all affected by losing one of their number and at the same time they all offered their support to the family. It was as if they turned out so regularly that death was a normal part of life and not the unusual hidden away horror it is here in the UK. IYSWIM

Tidy versions of everyday wear is what people tend to wear here too. The only other person who was dressed up was my grandfather's sister (that side of the family has Italian heritage so that was my explanation, my grandfather was also very soigné). Incidentally she wore a beautiful necklace of baroque pearls so I had something to chat about to her with my newfound knowledge on the subject as I only really know her vaguely.

I think in places like France where there's depopulation of rural areas a loss is felt more keenly in such small communities. Bit like my musings on the Irish potato famine effect, it all sounds very supportive but I suppose the trade out is that everyone knows everyone's business <twitches curtains>

Oh bo I worked with a lovely Irish girl one of 11 from a farming family and yes that is exactly what she said about the payback of support from the community - everybody knows EVERYTHING! She also
said that of you spent a few years in London before going home the girls took a very very long time to really let you back “in”. But I’m sure Bani could give us the lowdown…

I bet your great aunt’s baroque pearls were amazing! So cool of her to wear those rather than the classic sort.

I always think that, I'd been born 2 or 3 generations ago that could have been my life, as it would have been for many or most of us, and Oh My God, I would have hated it.

Have to admit, I never got - or at least I haven't yet got - into Succession. Watched the first episode, a bit bored and I never got round to giving it another try. I have the sense it might be a bit late now. The same happened with The Sopranos.

I've never seen the appeal of social media as it always felt like moving to a small town full of curtain twitchers. I'm still mystified by the amount of emotion expended on Facebook dramaz 😱

It's never too late for Succession, Flo. I got into it in season two iirc, I enjoyed the first season but I didn't really immediately think it was it either. I think the whole corporate thing and everyone being hugely unlikeable (well supposed to be, I have a disturbing amount of affection for the worst ones, I blame the fantastic acting, it's definitely not my questionable judgement, nuh uh, 😶) makes it hard for a lot of people to get into right away. It is also a specific type of humour though that goes beyond being politically incorrect, Veep was somewhat similar, also marmite and truly awful characters but Succession definitely of much higher calibre.

I mentioned the toast shirt just to get your attention Flo 😉
That reformation dress, what stopped me buying it , was that it was almost too feminine, classic, I am not sure how to explain but it was not fully me. It is sold now anyway.
Really interesting chat about different customs, I have only been to a handful of funerals in South America, and depending on the family etc there will be different customs, but you typically start the funeral pretty much the day after the person dies and everyone who vaguely knew the person will attend.
The thing is my family relations are very progressive politically and socially speaking , as a way of describing it, so the way they dress in funerals depends on the person that has died, so can be colourful, or with some political statement or as if you were going to a posh function. But the overriding theme is to be the best version of yourself or what the person who died like you to be.
During the lockdown , an elderly neighbour died here in the Uk and the day they took the coffin away the rest of the neighbours we stood outside the houses to pay our respects. I thought I should dress respectfully, so I put a navy dress that I used to wear for work. But I was surprised that many people just stood outside with their everyday home clothes, maybe it was because it was during lockdown, but I thought that even if briefly, one ought to make an effort.