things that just don't work for you..

[HeavyHeidi]

Ordered another pleated midi skirt. In the ad and my imagination one would wear it with a simple plain t-shirt or blouse and it would make you look classic, elegant, have this summer in the city vibe.

In reality - Russian babushka with an arse the size of a small country.
It's always like that and every 6 months and so I will still order another, just to try if things have changed. They will not have changed.

Do others have stuff that just doesn't work as advertised?

Pleated skirts make my waist look thick when it is in fact tiny. Unsure if it is the wide waistband of the skirt but they do me no favours.

Pleated skirts make my waist look thick when it is in fact tiny. Unsure if it is the wide waistband of the skirt but they do me no favours.

High waisted jeans/trousers. I'm short waisted and they often reach my rib cage. I wish lower waists would come back into fashion.

😂😂😂😂 I love you

Oh yes. Wrap dresses. Every time I read about them it is claimed they are good for someone with big boobs and a mum tum. I am (I think) apple shaped - well very booby and tummily and apart from the blasted dressed falling open to show my bra, they insist on showing my thighs as well. Also from the side it looks like I have tried to shove a sofa up my dress.

Security would have a field day in any sofa store!!!

any pleated skirts make me look 6 months pregnant . Smock dresses look like I’m dressing up in Victorian child’s cast offs … . I have no boobs, no waist and a tummy. Any pastel shades make me look like I’m Ready for hospital.

Wrap dresses make me look matronly
anything other than slim or skinny jeans or trousers swamp me
I look better in DPs boiler suit or work dungarees than I do in a jumpsuit
Leisure wear or fitness clothing also looks awful

I wish lower waists would come back into fashion.

As long as they keep the mid and high rise that's fine. I am tall, and low rise jeans come halfway up my backside.

I hate low waists as they cut into my blobby belly!

According to Vogue, theyre already on their way back, hence the Kardashians slimming down.

Rolled up jeans. They make my tiny legs look even shorter. I like the look but just can't seem to make it work.

Cropped trousers just look silly, because I'm tall it just looks like I'm wearing trousers too small.

Turtle neck jumpers. I have quite a short neck anyway, it just looks strange.

Jumpsuits, too long in the body for one not to look like a giant camel toe.

Cream eyeshadow, never lasts

Highlighted... just end up looking like the tin man out of wizard of oz

Oh yeah, in make up terms I've never found a bronzer that doesn't just make me look dirty.

Empire line dresses. I am fat and they make me look like I'm six months pregnant.

I love pleated midi skirts. I'm very lanky though, they disguise how scrawny I am. I tried a chunky cable jumper dress once though, I looked like a yarnbombed lamp post.

I've tried my best with false eyelashes. They look fabulous - WHEN applied correctly, which is the problem.

I'm covered in stretch marks. I wish I could be the bigger person and ignore them, as it is I pretty much avoid all things that make me show my arms or my legs, most things that I can't wash and dry in a hanger because I don't like to iron, wide pants that are ankle-length because I feel they make me look shorter and yellow because I don't think it suits me.
I wish I could say I don't wear anything with Hello Kitty on it because I'm past the age but alias I can't!

My butt looks huge in jumpsuits. And it's not even big in real life. I hate jumpsuits.

The much-lauded “crisp white shirt” makes me look like a sensible Home Counties Tory wife who wouldn’t know a sense of humour if it pitched up on the village green in a camper van.

God yes, same here!

Crisp white shirts, or any kind of shirts really always seem like such a great idea - clean, crisp, professional, sophisticated looking. They all make me look like a man.
But if you go - oh, so you should be wearing feminine flowery blouses then - also nope, anything colourful and floaty and I get a very distinct Andie Macdowell in Maid vibe.
Can't win.

These are all brilliant.

My “no can do” is the French tuck or tucking things in even in a non-French, entirely ordinary way. My 55 year old tummy and bum are far more at ease when fully disguised behind a nice unfashionable tunic top.

• baggy trousers

• wide legged trousers

• dungarees

• anything with a so called high waist (that is not where the waist is, in reality!)

• ultra high necks

• strapless bras

• anything made from linen, in my view, the world’s most impractical fabric.

Basically anything summery. I am not lean, tanned and continental-looking. A sturdy pair of Welsh legs and the light of day are a poor mix. My face goes red in the heat, my hair limp and my feet and hands swell up and take on a blue-ish hue.

I looked in a couple of shops the other day and was mooning over the nice Autumn stuff being set out. I look dreadful in pale colours and really would rather wear opaque black tights, roll-neck sweaters and a good pair of boots year round…

There are summer clothes to suit every shape, size and colouring.

Summer clothes does not = skimpy clothes or pastel colours.
Loose cotton or linen trousers, longer dresses and skirts in all colours, floaty tops if you need sleeves.