things that just don't work for you..

[HeavyHeidi]

Ordered another pleated midi skirt. In the ad and my imagination one would wear it with a simple plain t-shirt or blouse and it would make you look classic, elegant, have this summer in the city vibe.

In reality - Russian babushka with an arse the size of a small country.
It's always like that and every 6 months and so I will still order another, just to try if things have changed. They will not have changed.

Do others have stuff that just doesn't work as advertised?

Bought a beige trench coat for the walk to school with DS… MH DH said I looked like Midge Ure in the Ultravox ‘Vienna’ video and used to him the song whenever I wor it!
Insisted on getting a light brown fur jacket from Wallis that I’d had my eye on for ages… It was hideous on me… made me look like Scooby Doo!😱

• hum the song
• wore not wor🙄

Baseball caps. They just don't go with my face (DP says I have "olden times face", I think he means soft haha) and so instead of looking like a laid back, model off-duty type I look like a time traveller who grabbed the first thing out of the 21st century wardrobe section and goes around saying "Hello fellow people of the future today".

Shirt dresses look awful on me which is a shame because I really like them. I think it's because I'm really short (4'11). Also ankle boots with skirts or dresses don't work that well either.

Skinny jeans never worked for me - made my legs looks like parsnips. So glad they're out of fashion now! Same for pencil / tapered trousers. Straight leg, wide leg or boot cut only for me.

😂😂😂

I doubt that skinny jeans will ever go out of fashion.

We are "told" that they are out of date, but the shops are full of them, and loads of people still wear them.

I quite agree @RampantIvy . New Look high - waisted indigo or black skinny jeans make my bottom half “recede”. Thus bringing into focus my slimmer top half. I’ll never give up wearing them.

White trousers or jeans, however? I’ve bought loads, forever hoping I’m going to change into Liz Hurley.

Sadly, it’s never happened 😉

Shorts - all and any shorts. I am a pear shape with thunder thighs and cankles. Shorts that feel comfortable make me look like a ship in full sail, and the very rare pair that look acceptable (not good - just acceptable) seem to dig in and feel restrictive.

Talking about jeans, I spotted this today. And this is one of the many reasons why I never buy clothes online.

Bloody hell those New Look ones look tiny! I tried on lovely jeans recently: 14 too big (I'm thinking vanity sizing), 12 so small they cut off my circulation! FFS!

Anything that shows my upper arms. A pain in summer but christ they're awful and always have been in fact even as a teen! Pasty, flabby, with red spots, no muscles whatsoever. Blegh!

Boxy or oversize tops. They hang from my boobs and make me look like a marquee.

Most buttoned shirts. If they fit my shoulders and waist properly, they gape across the boobs. If I buy them bigger... marquee problem as above. Oh except those magic ones with hidden reverse buttons in between the normal buttons - they are ace.

This was me! My ex’s family are all really tiny, even the men, and in the family photos I look like Godzilla about to eat all the villagers.

Ahh the boob- tent. I know it well.

My ex’s family are all really tiny, even the men, and in the family photos I look like Godzilla about to eat all the villagers.

grin]

Ha ha - some very funny self-deprecating comments on this thread!

I would like to adopt the scandi/preppy/coastal beige look. I splashed out on a Toast dress and brown sandals. I looked like Sandi Toksvig at a retired maths teachers’ convention.

Ah yes the boobs. Everyone wants them, right? Ha. My style is either massive boob-tent if clothes are loose-fitting or page 3 in anything fitted or lower cut. There's no in between.

Ah yes the boobs. Everyone wants them, right?

Yep. Been flat chested all my life.

I knitted a chunky cardigan. It was going to make me look like the model - slightly waif-like but warm with a little slip-top and said cardigan fall8ngoff my shoulders.
Reality: a well-lagged boiler. I wear it anyway.

Wrap dresses. I have no boobs so there's nothing to fill them out and keep them up. Whenever I've tried one on, they simply ping to the side of my nipples!

My ex’s family are all really tiny, even the men, and in the family photos I look like Godzilla about to eat all the villagers.

I genuinely do feel sorry for you even though I'm 5'3, but God that make me laugh.

Any skirts to be honest. Always look like a sack of spuds! I mainly live in dresses or baggy jumpsuits x

Brilliant! 🤣

Capes and ponchos have the same effect on me - I look like a marauding wildebeest.

Again, today. Ordered a white lace summer dress. Saw a woman wearing one some days ago and she looked so fresh and pretty. This is what I thought I will look like:

What I really look like - disturbed woman has wrapped herself in net curtains.