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Messages from step child

669 replies

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 22:53

So for context. SD was suspended from school, my partner allowed her a sleepover last night. We were staying at his house. I wouldn’t have stayed if I had known.
last night 2am I ended up on the sofa as they were so bloody loud. 5am I heard almighty banging and 5.45am she was in the kitchen banging aroud making food and having no respect. Yet we all have to respect that she is in bed until 11am and to be completely silent until she wakes up.
he asked why I was asleep on the sofa so I explained and he Asked did I have proof so I had a time stamped video of the noise.
he had a conversation with her tonight.

she then sent me this-

you can delete that video of me u don’t have consent to take videos of me and my friend one it’s weird two u had no need too and i don’t care if it “woke you up” you should’ve been in ur room not in the living room and dad was fast asleep so was everyone else so i wasn’t being too noisy either u js want to argue for the sake of it and you have ur own bloody house to go to if u think it’s too loud here next time stay there if u don’t like the noise of it so ur not recording me like a weirdo next time i find out ur recording me ill do the exact same thing to you when you’re moving around in ur own house and see if u like that and next time u have a problem with me talk to me not my dad since he doesn’t want to have u talking to me through him

my reply back-

Unfortunately it was very loud last night, the boys struggled to get to sleep and this was also mentions by them to your dad. I was woken up at 2am and I went downstairs as it was quieter. I heard you banging around in the kitchen at 5.45am and I didn’t speak to you at all this morning about it because your friend was there. Your dad questioned why I was sleeping on the sofa so I explained it was too noisy. Unfortunate your dad always likes everything as proof so I yes I do have all the noise being made so he couldn’t accuse me of staying downstairs for a different reason. We are meant to be a family and respect each other. I always respect you are asleep in the mornings and I am as quiet as possible out of respect, and I am also making sure the boys to do, and on the occasion they did make noise and disturb you they were disciplined and had things taken away. Your dad said this morning he would speak to you so I left it at that. Next time you have a sleepover I would just appreciate that you respect everyone else in the house.

her reply was—

the boys was asleep so idk what ur on ab dad said it didn’t wake him up or jessica and the boys was fast asleep and you always like to cause problems and you’re only saying something nice because you’ve said to dad it has to be me or you and you know full well he’s gna choose his kids over a woman who doesn’t want his kids around. talk to me instead of my dad he has a lot to deal with and has work.

Am I right to feel angry?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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5
Bufftailed · 29/06/2025 22:59

Christ this sounds awful. For a start everyone needs go calm down, stop texting. Your partner is at the root of this - he should be supporting you, presenting a united front, not asking for proof. I think I would avoid being there when she is for the time being

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:00

@Bufftailed I wanted to ignore it he suggested I messaged something civil. I haven’t replied since. As my reply wouldn’t be nice. Problem is she lives with bim so means I could never stay again

OP posts:
Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 29/06/2025 23:01

Honestly? She's behaving like a spoilt brat and I wouldn't meekly go downstairs. The whole tone of her message is appalling. She knows damn well she has daddy wrapped round her little finger and he'll always choose her. Leave them to it. You're worth more and I'd be so fucked off by her attitude.

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:07

Yup proof if her message. After she as talking to be before about sorting her Vinted parcels. I am so done with it. He keeps saying if I leave though he will tell everyone it’s because he has kids. When that’s not the reason

Messages from step child
OP posts:
yestothat · 29/06/2025 23:07

I think it’s really odd you filmed her and told her it’s because her dad likes to have proof of everything and so he didn’t accuse you of sleeping downstairs for a different reason

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:07

@Needtosoundoffandbreatheimagw of the message is under review x

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Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:09

@yestothati wanted to be honest as to why u filmed the noise: the video showed the ceiling in the lounge. I am not going to lie to her as he will tell her anyways. He would accuse me of sleeping downstairs as I was messaging someone else or whatever. But also because I couldn’t say ‘well your dad always believes you so u have to have proof’ xx

OP posts:
Troubleclef · 29/06/2025 23:09

Relationship sounds hard work. Who cares what he tells people if you split up.

healthybychristmas · 29/06/2025 23:11

I could hardly read her message! How could you understand it? She says you have your own home so I suppose that's your answer. She doesn't want you in her home and her dad is too weak to stand up to her and too demanding of you, asking for evidence and so on. I'd go to my own home and be glad to be out of it.

Dogaredabomb · 29/06/2025 23:12

Yes, go to your own house and leave them to it. He's weird needing proof.

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:12

@healthybychristmasbyt then she wins. And she carries on getting what she wants. Like she wants to stay at ger mums part of the week and he said well that’s fine but if he’s 4 nights then i won’t be giving you £100 allowance anymore. So she said fine I won’t stay 4 nights. She is getting everyrbinf she wants. And has now sent all this to her friend so their mum is kicking off xx

OP posts:
WLINewbie · 29/06/2025 23:14

It's you who wins by getting away from this nonsense

Enough4me · 29/06/2025 23:14

I couldn't be with someone who needs proof as they don't believe me. I'd end it and be happily single unless a better option turns up (also she's going to turn into a complete spoilt nightmare and you don't want to be around her anymore).

BastardesEverywhere · 29/06/2025 23:15

Do you have kids op? Ie 'the boys' you keep quiet in the mornings?

Are you dragging your kids out of their own home for sleepovers at your boyfriends house? Your abusive boyfriend with the child that clearly hates your existence?

IReallyLoveItHere · 29/06/2025 23:15

I can't believe you're messaging her. Or that you felt you should take a video for proof.

Why didn't you wake him up and tell him to deal with it?

If you can avoid being around when she's there then great. It's her dad's house so if his rules are that she can do as she likes and you can't make noise until after 11am then that's up to him. It's your choice whether you stay in the relationship.

Gingercar · 29/06/2025 23:18

Your OH sounds weird and controlling. I’d leave him and his daughter to themselves and move on. Who cares what he tells people if you leave.

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:18

@BastardesEverywhereyws I have two kids. And for the last 5 years it’s always been we stay at his on my weekend to have them. They like staying there, and if they don’t want to one weekend we don’t.

my kids are actually quiet and well behaved children and respect other people, they will wake about 8 and then just go downstairs and play nicely or watch their iPads or go in the garden

she hates my existence because I pull her up on things and make her dad take her phone away and discipline her

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Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:19

@IReallyLoveItHere bur it’s also not fair on her sister who stays as it affects her too. He doesn’t wake easily is the issue as I did try 😂

I hate my relationship status is being dictated to by a child. My kids have more respect

OP posts:
MamaBear2210T · 29/06/2025 23:19

Honestly this relationship screams red flags.

You need proof? That’s not normal.
He would think you’re messaging other men? Not normal.

you have your own house, you can leave and not have to worry about this walking red flag and delightful daughter. I’d be running!

SemperIdem · 29/06/2025 23:20

Too late now, but I absolutely would not enter into this kind of back and forth with her.

A face to face conversation, yes. But not texts.

Your partner sounds weak, he is quite clearly trying to buy her love/loyalty with money.

I quite frankly, could not be bothered with putting myself out in this scenario. I have step children, who are with us 50% of the time. It can be challenging, my husband and I don’t always agree, but we are at least aligned in our expectations and values. It seems you and your partner are not.

NapoleonsToe · 29/06/2025 23:21

Whatever's happened, I don't think you should be posting your verbatim conversations with her on a public forum. She's behaved badly, but you shouldn't be videoing her or putting screenshots of exchanges on here. It all sounds really unhealthy and you'd probably all be happier if you left this relationship.

Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:22

@SemperIdemif it’s my kids it is different but when it’s his the sun has to shine out their ass and we have to please them and accept they are like us xx

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Stepchildrenarehardwork · 29/06/2025 23:23

@NapoleonsToei haven’t put her name, but also i have no one else to talk to that understands and felt by showing the Messages if i was being unreasonable it’s from what has been exchanged but just my written interpretation x

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AMurderofMurderingCrows · 29/06/2025 23:23

Fuck that. A jealous, controlling partner and a brat daughter. Get rid OP.

SemperIdem · 29/06/2025 23:24

Honestly op, you’re wasting your time with this man.