Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

At this point, why doesn't he offer to pay for a babysitter for the Saturday night? Probably not more expensive and much less hassle than the journey.

Sorry but If my husband offered to pay for a babysitter so that his ex could go on the piss I’d lose my shit! If she wants to see her kids (against the original plan) then she can bloody well make the effort to pick them up.

I think you’re being ridiculous.

You’re not his mum and he’s literally only gone for a few hours.
You have the entire rest of the day together and every other day too.

Its quite common to go and see your own mum on Mother’s Day or take shared kids to spend it with their mum on Mother’s Day.

Having SDCs and a husband does mean compromising.

My sister tends to spend the morning at home with her DH and kids and then they both go and see their own mums separately.
They will alternate which one takes the kids with them every year.
I think it’s a good way of doing things.

Read the OP

OP has her very own crotch goblin.

lol at the idea that on Mother’s Day the best thing you can do is leave the mother with her dcs on her own and bugger off ‘because she’ll get the spend the day with her dcs’.

I mean, is that any different to the way the OP is spending her days anyway?
What is saying CELEBRATION in that arrangement?

@Trulyme , any insight?
Anyone else who could explain?

Do you never see your mum on Mother’s Day without your DH or vice versa?

You don’t need to spend the entire 24hours a day with your spouse (or kids) just because it’s ‘your’ day.

He’s gone for a small part of the day.
She has the rest of the day with him.

He could even take their shared DC with them or she could go too if she doesn’t want to be apart from him, but she doesn’t want to do either.

How would you people cope if it fell on a work day.

Mothering Sunday by its nature is a moveable feast. It can be any Sunday in March and there is no reason to be particularly wedded to the fourth Sunday in Lent. Either redesignate your Mothering Sunday to 17 March, or have an international Mother's Day on 12 May. YANBU to be a bit pissed off but it is the obvious and easiest way to resolve the issue for this year.

It sounds as if the mother of the step-kids has changed the normal arrangements fairly last minute and is also unwilling to have the kids on Saturday so I don't really understand why she's not picking them up rather than OP's DH taking them. She's the one that's changed the normal arrangements, surely the onus is on her to do the logistics.

Basically the OPs DH needs to learn to say 'no' to being a taxi in this situation. He can bring them on Sat evening or she can pick them up on Sunday lunchtime.

What's wrong with that?

You are making a massive fuss here. Just go out for lunch without him or do something in the evening. Its just another day of commercialised crap anyway. Why do you need a SPECIFIC day to have a celebration with your kids.

Be the bigger, better person here and grow up.

What about your husbands mother?

It's just a day! And a made-up day at that.

For the people saying that the OP is just making a fuss and it's a made up day etc. Would you say the same to the ex? Because the ex is making a fuss by insisting that OPs dh makes a 4 hour round trip for Mother's Day for her.
OP if the ex wants the arrangements changed then she needs to make the 4 hour trip and pick her child up.

I'm really not understanding the problem tbh. You have your child on Mother's Day.

Good fathers help make the day nice, with their children, for mothers that celebrate Mother’s Day.

HTH your faux naive ‘I don’t understand.’

I agree in principle, but given that he's already agreed with the ex to do the drive, it might be a non-controversial way to get out of it.

Can’t believe you’ve still got Ferrero Roche left from Christmas.

A few ideas:

• insist that if the ex wants to change plans either she makes it possible for your DH to drop off the night before - either she doesn’t go out or she hired a sitter.
• the ex can collect them herself (again, as she is the one asking for flexibility)
• If your DH really needs to drop off on the day he is to be back in time to prepare lunch, they can wake up early

Also, anyone who is a stepmum will understand how infuriating it is being told to "be the bigger person". We are fed up being the bigger person while the ex just does what she wants.

He's still going to o have to do the drive though isn't he? Just on the Saturday instead of the Sunday and then fork out for a babysitter on top of that. Absolutely fucking not!

No, I presume the pp means ex could just keep the kids the whole weekend, so no driving needed.

What about her?

Tell him to leave at 7am, be back by 11am?

If it's a 4 hour drive, they should either be staying with their mum for the weekend or coming to dad's. Interrupting the weekend with a long drive is ridiculous.

@waterlellon
Yes your DH has put his ex first but he's also put his elder children first and they're must likely to remember the day.
And to quote you this is kind of what you signed up for. Why don't you ask him to organise a lunch for you and your shared child the following week ?

What a truly fucking horrible thing for adoptive mothers to read.

It’s clear you were just triggered by the fact that the OP is a stepmother, so many posters are and derail threads continuously with it, but you didn’t think your attempt to stick the boot in all the way through, did you?

It’s shameful.