Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

How old are his older kids? Are they old enough to go to see their Mum on the train? She could meet them at the station.

I don’t know about other step mums but I didn’t sign up to be considered second after the wants of my husbands ex wife.

It’s hard enough being a stepmum having to compromise for the sake of the DSCs, let alone doing for the blinking ex wife too. Sod that.

Yeah that's why I'm here really

PARDON ME??????

Child. This is a child!

Ridiculous. All the other kids know it's mothers day this weekend

All days are "made up days" wedding days. Birthdays. Christmas. Easter. Mondays.

She lives miles away. I'm not sure what she has to do with this

I think you should do this year. If she wants them for MD, she can swap weekends.

It is not ridiculous. It is a perfectly sensible solution to this particular problem. It does not solve any other problems you may have with your DH, granted.

I think what's actually happened is usually the mother wants them for mother's day so they swap weekends but this year she can't be bothered as she is going out so it's business as usual where the dad drops them back on a Sunday. He could have dropped them home in the evening instead

Thanks. I do think if she wants them dropped earlier she should swap weekends.

I’ve no idea why she’s been brought into it either. Suspect classic mumsnet whataboutery - anything to avoid acknowledging your feelings are valid.

@Carouselfish DP’s mum needs to start her own thread if there’s an issue. She’s not involved in this one.

Amen @Pennyforyour!!

You’re not his mum so it’s not relevant really.

I'm just coming here from another thread where the consensus is that DH is apparently a dickhead for not doing his own thing on Mother's Day for a hew hours and letting OP enjoy it with her children.

Now here the DH is a dickhead for doing exactly that.

Mother's day can be celebrated however you choose.

The children are right to want to be with their mum and this should be supported.

My (now ex )husband was always working even when we were together. So I have always just made the most of it and seen mother's day /my birthday as days when I do a fun day out with the children. I pick something we all enjoy and make the most of it that way. Or as they got older I let them pick and we have had all sorts of random days out! I guess I could have wallowed and sulked instead but I would rather just enjoy the pleasure of being with my children.

Maybe he can give you a lie in and some child free time on a different day.

He's not the step kids mum either or his ex's I'm not his ex's mum. Are we just playing who isn't who's mum?

Could your DH leave at 8am say and be back in time for lunch with you?

No because they are to be dropped off at hers at 11-1130.

I'm not that fussed really I'm not. It's the not even being a fleeting thought that actually I might have hoped for a mother's day lunch too!

No she didn't sign up to being 2nd best to the ex or an after thought.

It's Mother's Day so it should be up to the mum how they want to spend it. Any decent OH would support that.

If the children want to be with their mum on mother's Day, they should be staying there for the weekend.

And their mother should decide what is more important to her - her Saturday night out or Mother's Day lunch.

Ridiculous to make your kids spend an unnecessary 4 hours out of their weekend in the car!

@waterlellon saying the ex isn’t his mum isn’t relevant is it? He’s not going to see her he is simply dropping off the children.

Why can’t you have dinner instead of lunch?

4 hour round trip with an 11.30 drop off? He has time to make you breakfast in bed and be back to take you a 2pm lunch (2.30 to give some wriggle room). It'll be a tough Sunday for him but he can suck it up.

Meanwhile you can spend 12 of your 16 waking hours on mothers day exactly as you want.

What exactly is wrong with that? Unless you're just spoiling for a fight.

I assume his mum has had 20 years of being celebrated on mother's day. I reckon it's also been a while since she's felt the need for a bit of spoiling due to constant sleepless nights, school runs and generally not having a minute to herself.