Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

It’s vindictive of the ex imo. I don’t know why these ex wives are like this . Pathetic . Also the DH … pathetic .

IMO (and plenty of others I’m sure), when the kids are too small to do something for their mum, it’s husbands job to make sure she has a nice day and can relax. I’m not sure what some people don’t get about that?

Forgive me if I’m off the mark but I wonder if the ex might be a squeakier wheel than OP. Have you told him how you feel?

It bears repeating that with a little bit of effort on his part, DH could treat OP to breakfast in bed, take OP's stepkids home for 11.30, be back at 1.30 to take OP out for lunch and spend the rest of the day pampering her.

She's refusing to even entertain that thought because she either wants a fight, or just wants to win a pissing content to assert herself as queen bee.

She's instead setting herself up for the miserable days she actually wants.

It’s the ex who is trying to be queen bee after originally saying it was okay for kids to be at their dads. The ex has said jump and DH has jumped , changing the plans .

I’m sorry you’ve had to settle for that (and convinced yourself it’s a good thing!) , but if that’s what the day was about then it would be called ‘self appreciation day’, wouldn’t it?

I don’t understand why she can’t collect her own kids?!

It may well be the case (heaven forbid a mother want to see her children on Mother's day of course), but given the timescales mentioned, it's 100% on OP whether she let's it ruin her day or not.

She wasn’t too bothered originally was she ? She could collect them herself but her DH has decided to make her one day worse by bending over backwards for the ex . That is a problem . An ex wife and a DH problem .

When every mother is being pampered who is pampering the mother’s mother? This poster might very well prefer her own company with her children than of a man making her lunch out of some socially perceived obligation. I’m sure her children will take her for lunch when they grow up to appreciate the love she has given them

Exactly, intransigent for no reason.

Maybe he’s bending over backwards for his children. You know, so they can see their mother on Mother’s Day?

if I were in his shoes I’d have felt awful for my kids that their mother wasn’t seeing them, so would probably do the same. It’s only a few hours out of the day it’s not a big deal

Maybe she the mother can bend over backwards herself and pick them up ? Or leave them be on their contact day like she originally wanted . The OP is important too , why should the ex wife get the best / most easy day ?

No he's not. He'll take the kids and then drive back and leave the kids there

I must be a freak but I expect my OH to spend the day treating me like a goddess for birthing his children 😁 only joking. I do expect him to treat me to something nice and when they were younger, I expected him to do something on their behalf.
I wouldnt be happy with him being so thoughtless. Have you expressed your disappointment to him @waterlellon ? Perhaps he dances to his exes tune because she shouts the loudest? Its healthy to be able to say, I am not happy about this. If you always suck it up then you are the easiest to disappoint.
It should have been a simple 'you have maintained you didn't want them home, if you want to change plans last minute then you need to come and get them because I have made plans for waterlellon'.
I get the its just another day posters BUT it's so easy to settle into the drudgery of busy, everyday life and it tends to be women that are spinning plates. These days are important for us to stop and show some appreciation for our loved ones.

Yes. But that was why mum was asked multiple times.

Families celebrate Christmas on different days for all sorts of reasons! So many families ‘move Christmas for the step children’. You need to reconsider your priorities or you’ll have no husband to make you lunch at all

It was suggested to highlight how silly "but you can spend the day with your child" is

😂 , meaning OP should be herself last as she is a step parent . Usual step parent bashing trope .

No. That is NOT what this is about and I'm not going to repeat it again

We don't move christmas. How would that be fair on me or our shared child? We have "2nd christmas" if required. A more subdued day with some gifts and a buffet.

Definitely

I'm sorry but you need to get over it. It's 4 hours that he'll be gone out of the whole day. If he leaves at 9 he can be back by 1...what's the problem. You can do something together in the afternoon.

But please it's one day in the year. The remaining 364 are just as important. Chill.

Because it's her Mother's Day too! Why should she be in a car for 4 hours when it's her ExH's responsibility to do the drive?!

I can imagine the reverse AIBU - "ExH has the kids this weekend and has to drive them back on Sunday as per the court order. Now he is refusing to, because his new wife wants to have lunch at 12pm. I have suggested he drops them back by 11am so he can still have lunch at 1pm with his new wife, but she is kicking off and saying this isn't ok!"