Hang on..I'm a mother too.

[waterlellon]

Sorry it's a mothers day one.

So DH asked repeatedly if the DSC wanted to spend mothers day with their mum. Their mum didn't mind and said no stick to usual pattern.

Now all of a sudden DH has to take them back on mothers day so they can see her for lunch.

Fine whatever. However I am also a mother to his children and now I'm spending it with LO on my own until he gets back later in the afternoon.

I'm just ranting. I knew he had kids. I chose this.

Yes I know that. It doesn't make it ok though. OP is probably only saying that because she's heard it a hundred times. No stepmum knows what they are truly signing up to. No stepmum should have to accept second best because their OH has kids with someone else.

I don’t understand all these posts saying ‘but you should be happy, you get to spend it with your kids!’ Honestly when they were little and hard work I just wanted a day off! My best Mother’s Day was when DH booked me a sis and lunch for me and my bestie. That only happened once but was magnificent! I totally get why you are pissed off OP!

Wow that's ridiculous. They really should just stay there on mothers day

I’ve always been quite capable of “making Mother’s Day nice” myself, providing I have my children with me. Isn’t that what Mothers Day is about? It’s not “wife’s day”

Super impressed by all the mum's who have babies and toddlers capable of making breakfast in bed, cooking a Sunday roast, buying their own gifts and amusing themselves for the day so their mum can get a well earned break. Kudos to those mum's for training their kiddos so well. You're absolutely right, in your case input from your partner isn't required but some mums aren't that lucky.

What’s the difference between your Mother’s Day and a normal day?
What do you do differently to make it special for you?

And does your partner make Father's Day nice for himself?

What with the ex?

He's going to be in the car for 4 hours while dropping the step kids off, doing whatever he's going to be doing while they are having lunch and then bringing the step kids back. Let him take your child with him and you have the day to yourself.

I've re-read! I don't mean you go as well, I missed a comma!

I don't think he's bringing the stepkids back. He's just dropping them off then driving home. Not really fair to keep a small child in a car for 4 hours for no reason.

OPs complaint is he hasn't asked her what she'd like to do or considered her at all. He's too focused on what his ex wants for mother's day.

Bollocks to that. Skip this weekend. She's changed the plan and it's going to ruin your Mother's Day plans. Nope! Stand up for yourself here OP. Tell your DH what you want and what you need.

If step kids don't go to mum's, OP is going to end up with them instead on her Mother's Day

Can't she pick up her children herself and spend the day with them?

@crumblingschools Not if they skip that weekend or swap it she won't.

Absolutely this!

It's just another day. My husband will be out with one of our kids, I'll be home with the others.

That’s really thoughtless of him. Have you been able to highlight to him how he has blithely ignored that you might want to be factored into plans?

My eyes are opened to the requirements of Mother’s Day. I genuinely had no idea this mother day lunch thing was an expectation until the children are old enough to take their mum out themselves. I thought it was to say thanks for being ‘mum’, not thanks for being ‘wife’. The older step kids actually know what Mother’s Day is so it makes sense they see their mum.

Why don’t you go for a nice spa day on the Saturday or something then have a nice day with your child on the Sunday? Or it sounds like your husband will be home by dinner so maybe make a nice evening of it? What’s the need for the celebration to specifically be ‘Sunday lunch’?

I’ve enjoyed the posters here who are apparently really incredulous that OP doesn’t consider spending the entire day in sole charge of a four-year-old a lovely Mother’s Day treat.

This is a spiteful response and not conductive to a healthy relationship at all. Please don’t do this

Your DH is a pushover / knob imo .My ex was like this with his ex wife .

I hate this mentality. I bet she spends time with her kids every day. It's nothing out the norm is it? Sometimes it's nice to do something special and be made a fuss of and there's nothing wrong with that.

@Skidoddle it's their contact weekend if I have read it right. The mum is going out on the Saturday, so I assume if dad doesn't go against contact days OP will be entertaining her step kids on Mother's Day

It’s not acceptable that your H hasn’t even thought about how he can enable your shared child to celebrate mothers’ day with you . I might have missed how old your child is , but presumably too young to organise e.g. a home made card.

The ex has played an absolute blinder here. Switch the plans last minute so that she gets a child free night out, plus she gets to demand the children back when she wants to see them, so she gets to both have a lie in and sabotage your day.

I would be insistent that DH either gets up at 6 to drop them with her by 8am, or he takes them in the evening after you’ve all had the day together.