My partner dislikes my child

[Mumof6yearoldboy]

Sorry I’m advance for the length of this I just needs a little advice that’s not from my friends and family I’m being made to feel like my child’s a problem and I apparently can’t see it. I have a 6 year old son and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 1 year. We recently moved in together in may. Previously it’s just been me and my son living alone together since he was a small child. My partner thinks I should change my parenting to meet his standards because apparently I’m a push over, who has no rules and we should be instilling zero tolerance into our children to teach them rules.
yet everyone who meets my son laughs there heads of, loves him and he receives nothing but good feed back at school. My partner is very strict and regimented and I’ve always just been fun, laid back and allowed my son to be a child. I think he’s kind, caring, loving, funny but talks a hell of lot. I think he behaves like most other children, he often needs asking to do something 2/3 times, he doesn’t really answer back but does have an answer for everything, he stalls bedtime for 10 mins with im hungry, thirsty, need a wee. These are things my partner has highlighted as a problem aswel as…..
He’s sly, vindictive, rude, spoilt, nosey, selfish.
Sly and vindictive - he will wind my partners 2 year old up. I’ll hold my hands up here he does do this but is that not normal sibling behaviour.
Rude- he questions some things my partner says and checks with me if it’s correct. I always support my partner when he’s dealing with issues.
Spoilt- if we go to the shop I will buy him something like a £1s worth. I don’t spend loads of unnecessary money.
Nosey- he’s started to listen in on adult conversations, then will ask questions.
Selfish - he doesn’t really like my partners 2 year old playing with his figures because he thinks he will break them, I encourage sharing which he will do with select toys.
Since my partner moved in my child now has to share me and his home/bedroom with a man and his child I feel like these are big changes which he has accepted really well and I don’t personally think his behaviour is that terrible I feel like he behaves normal. I feel like my partner is constantly nit picking at the smallest of things like because today said we was going to a play area but the play area turned out to be closed and my child briefly sulked or because he’s left a wrapper on the side, he even moaned because he wanted to bring a pocket full of rocks home from the park.

Well done on putting your son first.

I am so tired of reading these threads with the same theme. You shouldn't have to be told that your partner is an arsehole and that this will only get worse. You have to end this relationship. As I've said on all the other threads like this that I've posted on, I have experienced this but it was the OW's horrific treatment of my child. It took months and months of therapy to deal with the fallout and and injunctive measures via court. Don't do this to your son. You are his mum, his safe person. He has to come first.

These are all completely normal 6year old behaviours.

A grown man, a father too, calling a six year old sly, vindictive, selfish etc is not normal.

The thing about.the rocks was so sad, that's what 6yr olds do. I feel sorry for his 2yr old, but I'm.glad he's out I hope it's true.

Same, absolutely mind boggling that it would even be a question. I hope you really have left him, if that's the case I'm surprised you didn't mention it in your initial post hence it crossed my mind if it was just said due to every single person agreeing he is a piece of shit and to prevent further comments.

I've just seen your update. I apologise if I sounded harsh but as I said, I've seen this happen to my own child. Well done for doing the right thing

I grew up with a stepfather who hated me and I've never gotten over it, it still eats away at me and it ruined my mental health, please don't put your boy through this

Get him a million miles away from your son.
Why should your 6 year old share his toys with a 2 year old all the time?
A man who doesn't like him and a toddler in his house that he has only known you and him in.
Don't ruin your kid's childhood for a man.
The minute he started using words like sly and vindictive about a 6 year old is the minute you should have asked him to leave

I would ask him to leave immediately & next time, I would build foundations over a number of years before living with someone.

It’s your child’s home & this should be his happiest & safest place in the world. Always put him first.

Well done for getting him out. He was abusing your child, and it would have escalated to physical abuse.

I have no reason to lie to you, it started with him saying I’ll just leave and my response being Dan right you will. I left his suitcase out. Went for a muddy walk with my son and out for tea then arrived home to him gone.

Sorry, just seen he's gone. You've done the right thing. Stay strong 💪

I hope it’s true and that you did kick him out.

Your son sounds delightful and how sweet that he mostly accepted sharing his mum and home- the fact that this ‘man’ was then willing to be vile about a tiny child and make zero allowances for what would be normal behaviour is absolutely shocking to me.

You’ve both had a lucky escape- I hope he is now your ex as he is nothing but a pathetic bully. Please allow your son a stable upbringing with just you and him, leave the moving in with a bloke until your child is an adult and has left home themselves. That’s putting a child first and I don’t care who I offend- it’s true.

He’s been a friend for 7 years. I thought I knew him very well turns out I only really saw the real him the past 3 weeks. Things have been good the past year

I don't think I'm being overly dramatic to say this: if you continue to live with your partner you will ruin your son's life.
Please, please end the relationship. Your son should always come first. Living with a man who seems to hate him will destroy your son.

You did the right thing op, well done. 🥂

Honestly I would be telling him to fuck off.

Good for you.

He’s sly, vindictive, rude, spoilt, nosey, selfish

This is not a normal, healthy or emotionally intelligent way to think or talk about a 6 year old child.

It takes strength to do this OP. Well done. Wishing you all the best.

You've done the right thing, the way he described your child was horrible.

At least you've realised and acted quickly. Bare in mind he'll probably be in touch soon trying to talk you round. Stay strong.

Your partner sounds absolutely horrible and has said some awful things about your son. You should end your relationship and breathe a sigh of relief,he's not one to miss.

Love your update, what a wonderful mum you are. You put your lovely son first. It might feel shit now but the two of you will be great on your own.

Well done op, you may well have saved your child from physical harm at the hands of this emotional abuser. They usually start with words and slowly it becomes physical.

Never, ever let a man come I'm between you & your child, you gave birth to your son and no man has the right to sever that relationship.

I hope this post is from a troll... if not....children come number 1 always. Get him out of your child's life.

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php do the freedom programme before you get involved with someone else again. It helps you to recognise red flags in future relationships.

Well done to you;it's takes an incredible amount of courage and strength to end not only a relationship but a long term friendship.

I guess no one really knows anyone until you live together full time.

There is someone out there who'll love you and your little boy exactly as you both are.

Wishing you the best for the future.