H being ridiculous over a bauble

[Kikkk]

Yes you read that right... A Christmas bauble is the latest source of ridiculousness in our house.

My parents got all of their grandkids a personalised bauble this year to put on their trees which included our DC, along with my nephew and niece. They do this every year for Dsis' children but it's our child's second Christmas (weren't given one last year as only tiny) so first time they were given one.

Apparently we can't possibly put this bauble up because DSC don't have the same bauble with their names on... Just go and buy a freaking bauble for them then!

I can't cope with this level of stupidness.

when I was with my ex we bought our daughter a hamster, ss come around he had it out everything was fine…we get a call the day after off his mum swearing and shouting at my ex he better get to the pet shop to get ss one as my daughter had one so very very childish

Do your husband's parents buy Christmas gifts for your children? I bet not.

I agree your parents did nothing wrong at all OP.

Yea op! Your dh couldnt possibly, in 14 years, buy his children a bauble because, you know, the penis prevents such things.

Do their grandparents buy for your wee one every time they get something for their grandchildren?
I'd imagine not, but maybe I'm wrong?

DH needs to buy the baubles, plus maybe a “family” one with the DSC and your joint child’s names.

If I was 14 and was given a gift like that from people I barely knew, it would have made me feel a bit weird.

It’s ok for each set of kids to have special relationships with their separate grandparents. Trying to force a familial relationship when both parties (the kids and the GPS) aren’t enthusiastic about it and seeing each other frequently.

But I can see the message it sends having a Very Special Bauble for one family member and not others.

If the baubles are to be hung on a tree in your home then the DSCs need to be included. That should be obvious and as it’s obvious, why wouldn’t your parents just get some for them at the same time? Yes your DH can buy some, but your parents have turned a nice gesture into a problem that now needs fixing.

They should have. THAT is the bloody point, but no, they only bought one for a Christmas tree in a house where there are THREE children. Who the fuck does that.
That is like me buying one for my niece and none for her older sister because my brother is not her biological Dad. Like I said…. Lousy.

It came from HER family FFS, nothing to do with sexism. If the sexes were reversed I’d have said exactly the same about the stepdad buying something. Nice try though.

At age 14 and 11 do DSC even want a bauble with their name on it ! Some comments on here are rudiculous, i'm sure some people just write comments to be obtuse. OP can I ask if DSC other grand parents, on their mothers side, buys presents for your child, so your child doesn't feel left out when they buy your DSC presents ?

why is it only people making sexist comments, say ‘if the sexes were reversed’ 🤔

You seem incredibly insistent that “they won’t care”. What if they do? You don’t sound like you’d be that bothered even if they were upset.

Why don’t your parents see your stepchildren? It seems bizarre to me that you would marry a man with children and then not make them part of your extended family. It doesn’t matter if they’ve already got their “own” grandparents - no child ever suffered from having more people to care about them.

@ConnieTucker - because in this case its pretty obvious from my comment why I was suggesting the OP bought it. She seems to view her stepchildren as not her problem. You keep thinking that though if it helps you justify the OP othering her stepchildren 😒

I very much doubt that if the maternal grandparents bought Christmas tree baubles for them, that the SC would bring them round to hang on the tree at dads/SM's.

It’s not a present. It is a Christmas decoration with their name on. It will be used year after year. It is about being part of a family be that a blended one or not. It is NOT the same as a present.

Yes sorry but I also agree your parents are in the wrong and it is you who should be telling them. If you have accepted your step kids as your own then so should your parents. Maybe you haven’t.

Blended families come to blows easily, don't they?

Who does that? People who don’t agree with got, presumably. People who don’t in fact have to agree with you, and are entitled to have their own opinions on the subject.

OP’s parents are not the grandparents of the stepchildren, and no, they didn’t and don’t have the include them in family traditions. If their father wants them to have a bauble each then it’s up to him to sort it out, not OP or her parents.

My parents aren't the only people who can purchase a bauble, as I've said repeatedly

Yep they have a dad, mom, two sets of grandparents -

I think you parents did a kind thing and your DH is turning the gesture into a big issue.

They won’t care! they probably have vast amounts of decorations they made as youngsters - maybe DH could ask EW for some for his free as he sees the children at his house and it isn’t fair?

That is not the same thing at all… The comparable situation would the mother’s parents buying gifts for any children of the step father (if relevant here) who lived in the house with the mother, step father, OP’s step children and the step father’s children.

One of the loveliest photos I saw recently was my friend with her fairly new husband, his 3 children, her 2 children all with his Mum, arms round all the kids (a few of them young adults). My friend says her new MIL has welcomed the 2 step grandchildren as if they were her own.
Obviously I know it's not always straight forward, but it really warmed my heart. All the kids know they are loved.

I do think that it would be nice for all three children to have something with their names on the tree - but that really isn't your parents' responsibility.

As a PP said, if DSCs mum's family buy them a gift, do they also buy for your DC? I imagine not.

Never leave a child out.

Buy the child a very special bauble.

Wow, my older children were 11 and 15 when I met my husband. His family have always treated mine the same as their blood related grandchildren. I would be sad mine didn't get a bauble in this situ as it's just not very thoughtful.

Well he’s going to have to do now isn’t he

Where he wouldn’t have had to before

Annoying for him