Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

Leaving a child with step-parent overnight: what's the law?

214 replies

OneMoreNameForMe · 29/09/2022 14:32

Hello,

If the parents of a child are separated, and both parents have re-married, what are the rules on leaving their child with one of their step-parents overnight (without the bio parent there)?

My friend is in this situation. Her child is being left overnight with stepmother as it's dad's night, but he's away. Friend has offered to have her child those nights, but dad won't agree.

Any advice/ guidance?

OP posts:
TimeAtTheBar · 29/09/2022 14:33

What? There is no law.

What on earth is the problem here? Weird.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/09/2022 14:33

What? Its up to the dad what he does with his child on their time, there is no law!

ApolloandDaphne · 29/09/2022 14:34

Absolutely no law. The child can be left overnight with anyone the parent believes to be responsible.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/09/2022 14:35

How would your 'friend' like being dictated to by ex of who 'their' child could stay with. I mean im sure there must be a valid reason and not that he is off out on the piss all night till the following day?

Chdjdn · 29/09/2022 14:45

There isn’t really a law here; if your friend has a real issue she could go to court but unless there’s safety concerns then not sure why she would? It’s the dads night so he can decide to do that.

JudgeRindersMinder · 29/09/2022 14:46

No wonder there are problems with blended families when people carry on like this…

Thatboymum · 29/09/2022 14:48

Eh I’m confused … my ds4 regularly stays with just his step mum on dads weekends if dad is working late or not making it home which is common in his job, I don’t have an issue with this at all I thought it was quite normal

LIZS · 29/09/2022 14:48

Unless there is a risk factor you are not mentioning this is perfectly normal. Perhaps not ideal for ex to be absent if the point is to facilitate the parent child relationship, but sm can develop a relationship too.

TimBoothseyes · 29/09/2022 14:50

Not only did I look after my DSD overnight as she was living with us....I was awarded custody (won't go into the reasons as to why her mother wasn't granted it), of her when me and her dad split up. So there you go, there is no law against it whatsoever.

Johnnysgirl · 29/09/2022 14:54

How odd that you'd think this was covered by legislation, op.

FuchsAndMöhr · 29/09/2022 14:55

What is ‘your friends’ actual issue with the Step Mum? Because unless ‘she’ has serious concerns this is the biggest non problem I’ve seen on here for a while 🙄

flyingant · 29/09/2022 14:57

It's no different from leaving your child with a friend or babysitter. Perfectly ok.

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 29/09/2022 14:59

Why do you think there would be some type of law?

If there was a law that allowed children to only stay with blood relatives overnight, sleepovers would have been made illegal.

Original poster
OneMoreNameForMe · 29/09/2022 15:03

Thank you for the responses.

The child is quite young and doesn't know the step mother that well. The child would prefer to stay with the mother and has expressed this.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/09/2022 15:05

How old is the child? They surely cant be that young if both parents have already re marrried?

RedWingBoots · 29/09/2022 15:57

The child is quite young

The child then doesn't have a choice if being looked after by the step mother is to facilitate the child's relationship with their father.

and doesn't know the step mother that well.

Due to stuff that's happened in my own family including stuff that is similar to @TimBoothseyes experience I suggest your friend allows them to form a relationship so they do know each other well.

Bobbins36 · 29/09/2022 16:01

OneMoreNameForMe · 29/09/2022 15:03

Thank you for the responses.

The child is quite young and doesn't know the step mother that well. The child would prefer to stay with the mother and has expressed this.

Sounds like mum has been drip feeding negativity to a small child about the stepmum.

PhantomErik · 29/09/2022 16:12

I looked after my DSC regularly when DH happened to be on night shift during the time they were with us.

Very normal here.

lickenchugget · 29/09/2022 16:14

No law. Both parents have legal responsibility for child and e
both can make decisions. Mum does not trump Dad.

Quitelikeit · 29/09/2022 16:15

Sounds like a turbulent 16 years ahead for this child

get your friend to back off

as long as the child is safe then she should focus on having her child free time off

allboysmum3 · 29/09/2022 16:18

I disagree with most here. If dad is away on his weekend then it should revert back to the mother for childcare. Mother trumps dads gf in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lilithslove · 29/09/2022 16:18

There is no law. However dp and his ex were always each other's "baby sitters". Even now the children are teens so don't need much looking after but the expects would be that they stayed with mum if dp was away overnight.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 29/09/2022 16:19

allboysmum3 · 29/09/2022 16:18

I disagree with most here. If dad is away on his weekend then it should revert back to the mother for childcare. Mother trumps dads gf in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wife, not girlfriend and also the childs step mother.

Lilithslove · 29/09/2022 16:20

allboysmum3 · 29/09/2022 16:18

I disagree with most here. If dad is away on his weekend then it should revert back to the mother for childcare. Mother trumps dads gf in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't think its about anyone trumping anyone else. I think it's about parents spending time with and taking responsibility for their own children and co parenting like mature adults.

SeasonFinale · 29/09/2022 16:20

allboysmum3 · 29/09/2022 16:18

I disagree with most here. If dad is away on his weekend then it should revert back to the mother for childcare. Mother trumps dads gf in my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

In this case its Dad's wife, child's stepmother.

Swipe left for the next trending thread