Leaving a child with step-parent overnight: what's the law?

[OneMoreNameForMe]

Hello,

If the parents of a child are separated, and both parents have re-married, what are the rules on leaving their child with one of their step-parents overnight (without the bio parent there)?

My friend is in this situation. Her child is being left overnight with stepmother as it's dad's night, but he's away. Friend has offered to have her child those nights, but dad won't agree.

Any advice/ guidance?

If the mother feels there is a safeguarding reason why the child should not be left alone with the stepmother then no doubt the mother can go to court, or report to social services to prevent this.

If the mother is jealous of her ex's new wife she should give her head a wobble, which is apparently the law.

If the child is not happy about it why are they pressuring? Seems odd
Why would the step mum want that?

The 'child doesnt want to' only came in a drip feed so i would take that with a pinch of salt, if that was the main reason then it would have been in the op.

The child is young and could easily be saying what the mother wants due to pressure.

It isn't unheard off.

The child is quite young but old enough to articulate where he/she wants to stay?

If the father works shifts, like a lot of people, then all the step-mother is doing is facilitating care for him around a shift. If it is night time then the child should be asleep for most of the time.

Incidentally I was looked after by one of my step-mothers a few times because no-one else was available - my mum said "Thank you". It also meant when both my parents died there was still someone in a parental position in my family to knock sibling heads together if needed. (She took on a lot more responsibility than that.)

Yeah.

My 4 year old has been saying for about the past 6 months that she doesn't like Daddy. Then when she sees Daddy does a little dance of happiness.

I didn't mean to drip feed. I thought it would be obvious that the child would prefer to be with their mum.

The issue is not the stepmum, per se. The issue is more that the child is with their stepmum when they could easily be with their mum.

If the mother IS pressuring the child to say certain things then she is playing a dangerous game IMO. DSD's mum used to do the same until DSD started seeing it for what it was. DSD has not had contact with her mum for 20+ years now due to her mother's lies. Your friend neds to be very careful about what she says to the child in regards to the dad and SM because it won't end well.

Can you give us a bit more info? where is dad, what time is he leaving and coming back? is there other dc involved, step siblings?

Is Mum allowed to ask her parents, friends, a babysitter etc to look after the child? Or should the Dad take the child?

What happens if both parents need to work at the same time?

That's a bit of a leap, isn't it?

Plenty of small children just 'want mummy' as a default.

It doesn't work like that.

My DP had it the other way round. SC were put in childcare when he could easily have them due to the shifts he worked. He was told by his barrister that as long as a responsible adult is caring for the child then mum can do what she liked when she had SC.

I have female and male friends/colleagues/acquaintances told the same thing.
Incidentally in one case the relative who was being responsible wasn't yet 18 but due to their mature behaviour the children could be left with them.

I'm a Stepmum and if my DH was away and the child would rather stay with their Mum then I would want the child to be happy and let them them stay with their Mum.

I'd be disappointed in whoever is asking the child who they wish to stay with. That could be seen as manipulation, particularly as the child is young.

That's different from the original question.

Also if you don't want to take care of your SC for any reason it is up to you as you are a third party who has the choice not to have that responsibility.

I'm not sure what the comments about the mother being manipulative are about? I haven't said or implied that.

My friend does not know the stepmum. They have only met twice.

The child has said that they didn't like it the last time they stayed with stepmum as they weren't allowed the iPad (not the end of the world I know!)

Will the Dad be spending any time with his child during the visit, or will he be away the entire time?

If it’s one night and he’s around the rest of the time, the step-Mum is just babysitting for the night.

Something a bit off about someone who jumps to 'there's got to be a law that says children can't stay with step parents if the parent isn't there'

Seems like someone trying to force the situation their own way.

The child has said that they didn't like it the last time they stayed with stepmum as they weren't allowed the iPad (not the end of the world I know!)

😂

I’m guessing there is animosity generally in the relationship between the parents?

If so I think the agreed contact arrangements should be stuck to and not altered for something as minimal as this (unless there is some risk we are unaware of).

I would view it that in the time that each parent has the child they make arrangements for the child’s care, whether by them or others. Obviously if all the care was by someone else it’s be concerning it if it’s one night a week to work around other commitments I dont think it’s worth the fight.

Does the mum have a new partner. Will she want the father telling her he wants to have the child if she arranges to have them looked after by someone else in the future. Is she happy for the same rules to apply to her?

I get where she’s coming from, I hated missing my child so he could be with his dad only to find out he’s been spread around the whole extended family for two days. Little kids often would prefer their main home.
my son was about 7 when he relaxed about being away from me. I wasn’t negative either.
it feels like a punishment for breaking up with someone when your child is taken and given to someone else that isn’t even the dad.

The step mum is the father's wife. You said remarried, so he has been with her a while.

Your friend doesn't need to know her. She isn't her choice of childcare.

Why is only meeting her twice, note worthy?

What are you talking about?

There is no law. DH can leave the children with me if he's not there. However, if child would rather stay with their Mum then why would I force the child to spend time with me.

Don't turn it round that I don't want to have them. In my situation anyway they are growns up now and I spend quality time with them alone but I'm talking about when they were little.

Seriously? If this is all your 'friend' has to worry about then I have no more words.