AIBU expecting my husband to come?

[Flyawayy]

My gran lives in another country. She is getting quite frail and elderly.

Myself and DH have been out to see her a couple of times over the years before we had our now two year old and she's been here to see us too. I've also been out on my own plenty of times as well.

She has asked if all the family will come out to see her and have a little family get together as in her words she doesn't think she'll get to do it for much longer.

She's invited me, DH, our child, my parents, my auntie, uncle and my cousin's to stay with her for 5 days.

This falls on a time as aren't due to have DSC so I assumed no problem.

Except DH is saying he thinks it's unreasonable they haven't been invited firstly and secondly he feels he can't go as it looks like we're taking our child on holiday when we haven't taken DSC this year (couldn't afford abroad in the summer holidays but did have a long weekend in the UK).

AIBU in thinking he should come? It's possibly the last time we'll get to be there with my gran. It's not necessarily a holiday but just a family spending time with each other.

DSC don't really know my gran so I'm not surprised they haven't been asked. There's also not unlimited space either (there's two of them). They don't know my auntie and uncle or my cousin's either.

I think he's being a dick refusing to go because his children haven't been invited when they don't know my gran. He wouldn't care if it were a family meal over here they weren't invited to, but because it's something which could be seen as a bit fun then it's unfair?

If it's done at the time the DSC wouldn't usually be there and they aren't invited then he should go.

I think it's fine your grab didn't invite them, she'd essentially be inviting 2 strangers. It does feel a bit like he's using it as an excuse to give his kids a holiday. His kids aren't going to want to go there and spend time with your family and gran, which is what you are going for.

Sounds like he's just being awkward.

Personally I see stepchildren who live with you in your home differently than a wife’s grandmother who lives abroad that you have met a few times.

I think this is the crux of the issue. To many step children are really part of the immediate family.

But to your question - yes, if her DH was suggesting she leave her child with family and come away on holidays for a week with just him and step kids, I would say she would be in the right to stay home versus using her time to vacation without her child.

It's not clear if your DH expects your Nan to pay for your DSC's flights but I do hope not. Your Nan wants you close to talk of memories and family, maybe for the last time, if your DH thinks the DSC will find that fun I'd be very surprised.
I imagine he thinks he'll take the DSC out for the day and leave you with your Nan, not unreasonable usually, but in this situation really not on.
If he wants his DC to have a foreign holiday he needs to save up and make it happen.

yes, if her DH was suggesting she leave her child with family and come away on holidays for a week with just him and step kids, I would say she would be in the right to stay home versus using her time to vacation without her child

The DH isn't leaving his kids anywhere. They'd be at home with their mother, the same place they'd be whether he was at home or in Timbuktu.

But to your question - yes, if her DH was suggesting she leave her child with family and come away on holidays for a week with just him and step kids, I would say she would be in the right to stay home versus using her time to vacation without her child.
completely irrelevant. The step children are with their other parent as they are supposed to be.

OP,
Go on your own.

He doesn't want to go.

Being a support to you is not his priority.

He would rather have a break at home.

Perfectly reasonable for you to go without you SC.

You know where you stand.

Do you provide a lot of childcare and support for HIS children?

If you do, you might re think it.

He sounds selfish.

I agree he doesn't want to go.

Using his DC as an excuse.

Hoping he not cheating on you.