Should they pay to replace it?

[CamelotPudding]

I'm pretty furious right now.

It was my DD's birthday a couple of days ago. She's only 2. She got a ride on elephant toy thing which she was really excited about when she saw it.

It's specifically designed for young toddlers (up to 36 months) and is only small. There is a seat on it big enough for small children but definitely not designed for older children / adults.

My SS can play a bit roughly sometimes and was trying to joke around and sit in/climb over it when playing with DD. I repeatedly said to him to stop because it wasn't his and was not designed for older children (he's 11) and he would break it.

Anyway lo and behold he's done it again and the side of the seat has broken and now my daughter can't sit in it properly.

I am so pissed off. We don't have loads of spare money. This was £60 and her main present. It's been two fucking days for Godsake.

I've said to DH I think we should tell SS he has to pay to replace it with the money he got at Christmas (he got over £200 from relatives). I repeatedly told him, he is old enough to know better and I am sick of him just getting away with everything (DH is a pushover).

So AIBU? I'm really annoyed.

Absolutely agree with you OP.
Put your foot down on this with your husband.

What was your husband doing while his son was breaking toys?

He should absolutely pay for it, he was told to stop and is old enough to understand why he shouldn't have done it, that your dd will. Ow be upset and that in life you have to fix your mistakes

Yes I think he should, or at least half towards it. Is he remorseful?

YANBU. He’s old enough to know better, and this would show him actions have consequences.
The one with the broken seat could be kept for him since he likes it so much.

Absolutely, this seems the perfect solution and a well taught lesson.

This story reminds me of my exh sitting on my daughters little motorised car on Christmas morning many years ago. She was 3 🙄 broke the wheels, got it replaced and what did he do? Sat on it again. Such a knob.

I’m on the fence about making him pay, it’s annoying. I’d probably take half the money off him, good lesson but only if he understands the value of money. Otherwise it’s not much of a lesson.

I agree he should make a contribution towards the cost.

I’m not sure I would demand the whole amount from his Christmas money.

Yes he should definitely contribute to a replacement

Yes put your foot down and make him pay to replace it
It might make him think and have some respect for her things

I'd be livid aswell
He sounds selfish and jealous

If he was your own child what would you do?

Your ss should only pay if you will charge your own child for breakages. It didn't seem to be deliberate so whilst it's so frustrating I don't agree with charging him. If he is contrite, perhaps some punishment such as removing privileges

He should absolutely pay for it, he was told to leave it alone and didn’t and it’s his fault it is now broke. I would make my older son pay for a replacement if he did the same to one of his little brother’s toys.

@Fireflygal

If he was your own child what would you do?

Your ss should only pay if you will charge your own child for breakages. It didn't seem to be deliberate so whilst it's so frustrating I don't agree with charging him. If he is contrite, perhaps some punishment such as removing privileges

Not deliberate?! I told him repeatedly he would break it if he didn't stop.

If my eldest broke one of his younger siblings toys he’d defiantly be making a contribution/ paying for the replacement out of his pocket money or savings. Actions have consequences.

I think it’s definitely fair he pays or your DH finds a way to buy a replacement that isn’t out of family money

I think a contribution is more than reasonable.

Does your SS have a good relationship with your DC?

I’m just asking as if you’ve told him to stop and this is a regular occurrence, does he ignore you often when you tell him not to do something? Where was his dad at the time? Did dad tell him not to play on it?

Or is he generally well behaved and he’s a bit rough specifically with your DC and their things?

Have you asked him what he thinks should happen? How would he feel if one of his new toys got broken? Hopefully he may say he should pay towards it.

Yes I would make him pay

I would make my own kids pay if they broke something if their siblings even after repeatedly being told not to.

@Fireflygal

If he was your own child what would you do?

Your ss should only pay if you will charge your own child for breakages. It didn't seem to be deliberate so whilst it's so frustrating I don't agree with charging him. If he is contrite, perhaps some punishment such as removing privileges

She told him multiple times not to do it because it would break.

People always talk about natural consequences rather than punishments on here - this would be the natural consequence. Why would an unconnected punishment be better?

Did your partner once tell him to stop?

Absolutely he should pay. He needs to learn to leave your kids toys alone.

He should be treated the same as you'd treat your own child if they broke a siblings toy.

Taking money out his xmas money to cover the full amount seems a bit excessive to me but I think he should contribute.

At 11 It's his dads responsibility to make sure he behaves tho so any difference should be made up by him

Like you say it's only been 2 days. So I would expect him to pay the full cost for a replacement.