Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)

[PingedPotato]

We pay for Netflix. The DSC wants to have the log on so they can watch it at mums. Fair enough I guess but then I thought no hang on.. we pay for that and mum is blatantly going to watch it. Also I don't want to go to watch something and be like oh no now I have to ask DH to text DSC to ask them to log off. Also they can see what I've been watching and it makes me feel a bit like privacy being invaded knowing mum can see all the dull documentaries I like to watch.

But then part of me feels like I'm just being petty.

What do all you other step families do with subscription services like netflix?

@sqirrelfriends

It's a pain but it doesn't hurt anyone.

We have the additional annoyance of DSD not having any technology at her mums so have to keep forking out for a laptop, iPad etc that the whole family uses.

Eek yes that would sting a little. DH just went halves on all that with the ex (much to her annoyance..why couldn't I buy the other half? Wtf) so that he can pretend she uses her half haha

Seems a bit petty when the kids want it. Don't think I'd care who watched it

Petty in the extreme.

We let DSS have access to our spotify account.

Ex had the nerve to call late at night and ask could we get off it, so that she could use it.

We changed all the passwords and said no after that.

People may think it’s harsh. But if you have a problem with boundaries already, and it sounds like you do, inviting this into your life doesn’t help you.

Whenever we get ‘oh but we don’t have X at Mum’s house’ we say ‘you’ll have to speak to your Mum and see if she’ll get it for you’.

Ex had the nerve to call late at night and ask could we get off it, so that she could use it. What an idiot.

I mean not being rude but I get annoyed when people sponge of my Netflix just because they are too cheap to get their own and they are family.

A ex who seems to think because OP a high earner then can foot the bill just because nah why would I feed into this mentality.

Pin protect your adult profile, and let the kids have their child's version.

I can also see who sponges off others Netflix but who's like omg your being so petty. 🙄 only on mumsnet would you get oh your a step mum but of course you should pay for the ex who gives you hassles Netflix, If you don't well I feel sorry for those kids 😵‍💫🤯

Thanks for all the people saying I am being petty. I did think I might be. It's so hard when you get caught in the semi regular boundary pushing to know what's reasonable and what is just me overthinking!

My DSC ex expected us to pay for Netflix and Disney for her house. DH said no. We have DSC on our family Spotify account and Amazon so they can rent kindles etc wherever they are. We’re not funding it all.

The maintenance he pays is more than our mortgage, we’re not topping up non essentials like this in two houses, it’s ridiculous.

If you've only got the one logon tell this this 'sorry no, we only have the one log in'. Why don't you give your dm the link to get herself an account.

Whenever we get ‘oh but we don’t have X at Mum’s house’ we say ‘you’ll have to speak to your Mum and see if she’ll get it for you’.

Exactly this.

If you expected her to pay for stuff in your house everyone would think you were epic cheeky fuckers. You’re only being petty as you’ve got the nerve to date a divorced dad

Couldn’t you upgrade the the 4/5 people option? It’s not a lot more, then the kids can have their own profiles at mums house. If she chooses to watch it then she can use one of their profiles so who’s it really harming? And that way she wouldn’t really see what you’re watching either

Why no offer to pay her car insurance and broadband whilst you're at it

Why no offer to pay her car insurance and broadband whilst you're at it I'm not joking.. we got asked to put laptops and stuff on our policy. Even though they spent most time at their mum's house.

I do not think you are being petty. Mum can pay for services in her house.

I don't think you are being petty either.

If their mum can't afford it then they can't watch it at her house.

My subscriptions are for my household and my SC isn't part of my household at their mum's.

Yea I think it’s petty if it’s just for the sake of the possibility his ex would get to use something for free. Though I can understand why you’d feel that way given the situation you describe.

If you have actual concerns about it not be used correctly or it preventing you from watching something when you want then fair enough. And obviously don’t upgrade to more screens just to facilitate it.

It's not petty op especially when only one person can use it at a time.

We let dss use our login on his tablet (I did it for him) as we had multi screen but when he asked for the password for home I said no. If we had been totally amicable with ex then maybe I'd have said yes but we were in a similar situation to you wherein she regularly took the piss.

The kids have Netflix & Disney at ours but not at their mums. The whole single sign on thing is enough to say no! But we only have Netflix logged onto TVs and not their phones or tablets. Single sign on is great for saying no to being on tablets!

You could always buy the little darlings a Netflix subscription as part of their Xmas to use at mum's ??..

My DS was bad for handing out my passwords for Netflix,Amazon, Disney etc, he couldn't understand why I was pissed ,...I only found out because his aunt ( who I hadn't spoken to since the 10y split ) messaged and asked me to stop removing the things she adds to the my watch list as she is loosing programes.... My reply was , Oh sorry about that, my apologies for any inconveniences in your viewing pleasure, just so you are aware this won't be a issue in the future because as off 10 seconds time you will unfortunately be losing all viewing ....I then logged DS in on his tv and told him I would never give him a password again.

I don’t think your petty OP.

@TicTacHoh

Peak mumsnet - people telling you to pay more for Netflix for the Ex’s house…

This!

Back in the real world. SC's mother can pay for her own Netflix!

Not a chance would I be allowing passwords etc for Netflix so my SC could use it at home. Their mother has been a massive pain in the arse for nearly 8 years though so that may have tainted my view on it.

Yes… clearly you’re being petty if you don’t want to share netflix with your husband’s ex.

I’d hate seeing my SDC’s mother’s viewing choices messing up my Netflix algorithm. And her seeing what we’ve been watching. That’s weirdly intrusive.

We have multi viewer on all our accounts Netflix now TV etc. No I never made dd log out of Netflixs when she went to her dads.

She was always logged in on her devices she took between homes and yes I would have felt petty as fuck standing at the door with her on her way out saying eh log put and if you want to watch at your dad's get his log in. She has her own profile on all our accounts.

She had enough to be thinking about switching between houses.

And if she accidentally logged out I would send her the password. If it was left logged in on his smart TV I couldn't really give a toss. Him watching my Netflix account wouldn't even register although I'm pretty sure they have their own.

@Maybe83

We have multi viewer on all our accounts Netflix now TV etc. No I never made dd log out of Netflixs when she went to her dads.

She was always logged in on her devices she took between homes and yes I would have felt petty as fuck standing at the door with her on her way out saying eh log put and if you want to watch at your dad's get his log in. She has her own profile on all our accounts.

She had enough to be thinking about switching between houses.

You don't have to do that. You can force a log out from the account page.

It annoys me enough when my parents visit and bugger up my Netflix account watching utter shite.