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Original poster

Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)

390 replies

PingedPotato · 14/11/2021 18:23

We pay for Netflix. The DSC wants to have the log on so they can watch it at mums. Fair enough I guess but then I thought no hang on.. we pay for that and mum is blatantly going to watch it. Also I don't want to go to watch something and be like oh no now I have to ask DH to text DSC to ask them to log off. Also they can see what I've been watching and it makes me feel a bit like privacy being invaded knowing mum can see all the dull documentaries I like to watch.

But then part of me feels like I'm just being petty.

What do all you other step families do with subscription services like netflix?

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aSofaNearYou · 15/11/2021 11:50

Why should the OP buy a bigger package than her household needs so that another household can have an extra media subscription?

And if we're talking about someone needing to pay to facilitate this, then why on earth isn't the obvious solution for the mum to just buy her own house's netflix?

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 11:56

@aSofaNearYou

Why should the OP buy a bigger package than her household needs so that another household can have an extra media subscription?

And if we're talking about someone needing to pay to facilitate this, then why on earth isn't the obvious solution for the mum to just buy her own house's netflix?

Ah because she is a mum and an ex wife, we all know how unreasonable it is for an ex husband or new wife to deny the ex wife an extra.
thechaseison · 15/11/2021 11:59

I'd just up the subscription so more screens can watch it at one time and give them it. It's not that much more money and they can't force their mum to get it for them. Don't be tight...

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 12:01

@thechaseison

I'd just up the subscription so more screens can watch it at one time and give them it. It's not that much more money and they can't force their mum to get it for them. Don't be tight...
How can you say "they can't force their mum to get it" and then "don't be tight" simultaneously?

Why not tell their mum not to be tight. You know, their actual parent? Hmm

Tattler2 · 15/11/2021 12:05

Perhaps step life might be far less unpleasant for many if pettiness and intolerance had not become so ingrained.

I am being told to shut up because @Getyourarseofffthequattro disagrees with my perspective, if you live in a world where you need to silence opinions that differ from yours or ideas that vary from yours, it is understandable that so many minor things may cause you pain and unhappiness.

I would imagine that the corporation that owns Netflix gives a thinkers dam about the location of the device that their various subscribers use and as long as they are making the anticipated profits do not care to describe or restrict the residency parameters of its subscribers.

Why look for petty ways to make yourself miserable. Certainly, there is enough uncontrollable misery in the world that can't be avoided; why look for ways to add to that misery.

Wouldn't it be more productive to think about the enjoyment that the kids are getting from enjoying a show rather than focusing on the fact that the ex might be watching it as well?

Tattler2 · 15/11/2021 12:12

@aSofaNearYou
Mum does not necessarily need to buy them a subscription to Netflix because dad has provided them with a useable subscription. When my daughter goes to college, she will be able to view Netflix on her computer in her dorm room ( likely over 1000 miles from our residence. Should she not permit friends to watch because I am paying the bill? Should I send their parents a request for payment?

LolaSmiles · 15/11/2021 12:16

How can you say "they can't force their mum to get it" and then "don't be tight" simultaneously?

Why not tell their mum not to be tight. You know, their actual parent?
Exactly!

The OP is apparently tight for not buying a bigger subscription package than she needs, but the idea of Mum paying for something for her children in her household is unthinkable.

aSofaNearYou · 15/11/2021 12:18

Perhaps step life might be far less unpleasant for many if pettiness and intolerance had not become so ingrained

I don't consider it in the slightest bit petty or intolerant to believe that individual households should pay their own bills, I simply consider it the correct way for finances to be managed.

If somebody wanted to borrow my netflix to watch one thing I would lend it to them, but if they wanted a Netflix account to use regularly going forward, I would tell them they needed to get their own. Pettiness doesn't come into it.

Again, people are focusing far too much on the part where OP said she didn't like the idea of their mum having access to it. The fact is what they have is a one viewer only subscription, so they cannot hand it out for regular use without ending up in a situation where they are being regularly cut off from a service they pay for.

MeridianB · 15/11/2021 12:19

The dad has not provided his children with a subscription. Op has bought a subscription for her and DH which she is happy for her DSC to use when they are spending time there.

She doesn’t need to purchase a different subscription.

Their mother is welcome to buy one at her house.

aSofaNearYou · 15/11/2021 12:21

[quote Tattler2]@aSofaNearYou
Mum does not necessarily need to buy them a subscription to Netflix because dad has provided them with a useable subscription. When my daughter goes to college, she will be able to view Netflix on her computer in her dorm room ( likely over 1000 miles from our residence. Should she not permit friends to watch because I am paying the bill? Should I send their parents a request for payment?[/quote]
No, Dad has allowed them to watch the subscription set up on his TV. It is not useable elsewhere unless one or both of the people using it only do so rarely.

And no your daughter should not allow her friends to indefinitely log into your Netflix on their own devices, thus locking you and herself out of it.

Harlequin1088 · 15/11/2021 12:22

I love my stepsons but no way in hell would I let them use our subscription services at their mother's house. Next she'd be asking us to pay her leccy bill as all the extra time spent watching Netflix at her house has cost her more 😂

funinthesun19 · 15/11/2021 12:22

You’re not being petty. All of your reasons listed above are perfectly valid.

If the shoe was on the other foot, people would tell you you’re being unreasonable to expect the ex to pay for your household to watch Netflix. Imagine a thread where a stepmum was saying dsc’s mum doesn’t want them to use her account at dad’s. People would be like, “So? Get your own!”

So on that basis, the ex can get her own.

Tattler2 · 15/11/2021 12:24

@aSofaNearYou
The OP never mentioned that she had ever been cut off while attempting to view; she did however raise the specter of the mom watching the Netflix. People are only responding to an issue that she( not them) raised.

aSofaNearYou · 15/11/2021 12:26

[quote Tattler2]@aSofaNearYou
The OP never mentioned that she had ever been cut off while attempting to view; she did however raise the specter of the mom watching the Netflix. People are only responding to an issue that she( not them) raised.[/quote]
Eeerm, yes, because she hasn't handed her account out yet, so it hasn't happened yet.

And she literally talked about getting locked out in the sentence after she talked about mum using it.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 12:27

[quote Tattler2]@aSofaNearYou
Mum does not necessarily need to buy them a subscription to Netflix because dad has provided them with a useable subscription. When my daughter goes to college, she will be able to view Netflix on her computer in her dorm room ( likely over 1000 miles from our residence. Should she not permit friends to watch because I am paying the bill? Should I send their parents a request for payment?[/quote]
He hasn't. Op provides the service for herself.

lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:28

My ex hates Netflix and apple with me

No drama . And fine fo watch at same time.

Let it go OP. Bigger fish to fry

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 12:29

@lentilsforever

My ex hates Netflix and apple with me

No drama . And fine fo watch at same time.

Let it go OP. Bigger fish to fry

But op has the single screen option so it's not ok to watch at the same time.
clarepetal · 15/11/2021 12:36

I share my Netflix with my brother and brother in law. We gave separate accounts set up, if there are too many users we text them and they will stop watching, I think that is fair. X

lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:37

Shares!!

lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:37

* But op has the single screen option so it's not ok to watch at the same time*

The upgrade will be tiny!!

lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:38

An early Christmas present!

lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:39

Standard Netflix subscription allow 6 users

Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 12:40

@lentilsforever

Standard Netflix subscription allow 6 users
6 users but only two streaming at once by the looks of it. Even so I don't think I would be giving out my password.
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/11/2021 12:40

@lentilsforever

* But op has the single screen option so it's not ok to watch at the same time*

The upgrade will be tiny!!

So what! Why should op pay!
lentilsforever · 15/11/2021 12:40

Ah here we have the latest GB pricing.
Honestly, I’d buy this for them for a Christmas present