Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)

[PingedPotato]

We pay for Netflix. The DSC wants to have the log on so they can watch it at mums. Fair enough I guess but then I thought no hang on.. we pay for that and mum is blatantly going to watch it. Also I don't want to go to watch something and be like oh no now I have to ask DH to text DSC to ask them to log off. Also they can see what I've been watching and it makes me feel a bit like privacy being invaded knowing mum can see all the dull documentaries I like to watch.

But then part of me feels like I'm just being petty.

What do all you other step families do with subscription services like netflix?

@SpaceshiptoMars

I was on and am still on disability benefits. Working part time at the time. He’s self employed and hid money. He never paid a penny. Why should I beggar myself to provide for my kids - literally freeze when my kids weren’t there in the winter and go hungry - and have him scab off me when he’s in a huge house with new cars and holidays abroad and all the money he could ever need. What gives him the right to use my Netflix?

OK, practical question here, because I don't know the system. How can you hide money to extent that officialdom don't come after you for any money - but have visible wealth like houses, new cars and holidays abroad?

He’s self employed. It’s very common - everything is in other peoples names and he draws min wage and I’d get nothing if I went after him

It’s very common - everything is in other peoples names and he draws min wage and I’d get nothing if I went after him

Has he just battened onto a rich woman - living the easy life on her earnings? Or stupid enough to put everything in other people's names and trust they won't walk off with it?

He’s put it all in names of his family members.

He’s put it all in names of his family members.

Well, karma may come for him! Don't cry when it does.

And he’s anything but stupid. His mother and father aren’t going to walk off on him are they?

It’s all done through an accountant. And it’s perfectly legal. I investigated the possibility of a forensic accountant to untangle it all and was told not to waste my money by the accountant I went to.

(They also did similar for another family member who is also now divorced)

Accountant and solicitor sorry.

I went to solicitor who gave me name of forensic accountant who told me not to waste my money.

@Usermane123 I'm speechless.

I only hope some of this wealth filters down to your children eventually.

It won’t. They’re not the children of the eldest son.

But anyway. This is really derailing the op.

Just. It’s not always that simple as “just share it” or “just upgrade your package”. I know it doesn’t cost me anything and I’ve never said a word to my kids but it absolutely annoys me that he can’t wait to get his hands on an iPad to watch my Netflix and sky because he’s too tight to pay for his own.

I wouldn’t give him anything and I HATE that he takes from me in this way. And yes. It’s petty. And yes it’s annoying me out of all proportion.

I can see the op’s point of view is all really

@Usermane123

He’s put it all in names of his family members.

But then they simply pay tax, stamp duty etc

If it’s In his parents name
He will have to pay inheritance tax!

@Usermane123

But anyway. This is really derailing the op.

Just. It’s not always that simple as “just share it” or “just upgrade your package”. I know it doesn’t cost me anything and I’ve never said a word to my kids but it absolutely annoys me that he can’t wait to get his hands on an iPad to watch my Netflix and sky because he’s too tight to pay for his own.

I wouldn’t give him anything and I HATE that he takes from me in this way. And yes. It’s petty. And yes it’s annoying me out of all proportion.

I can see the op’s point of view is all really

Just focus on fact that your children are using it and his usage is a necessary evil

They may have to pay tax etc but it’s all doing tax efficiently through various mechanisms I do not even understand. and it means none of it goes to me.

Sorry *done tax efficiently

The aim is and was not to have to pay me anything. And that was achieved.

But I’m bowing out now because this is too personal at this point and I’m being asked for information I really don’t feel comfortable with saying.

Cleaners.

At a whim can be cancelled. No payment
Absolutely zero job security
No sick pay
No Maternity pay
No parental leave

It’s a vulnerable job at it’s most vulnerable.