To say it shouldn't be replaced.

[Woweee2]

My DSCs room is absolutely disgusting. I've spoken to DH about it several times and we have both discussed it with DC. There is rubbish in there, we had to disallow food and drink there because they just couldn't be trusted with it but DH still allows them to have "treats" up there on the weekend so bits of sweets/chocolate and so on.

Everything is all over the floor, toys, clothes, books, even their more expensive items like iPads and computer. I've warned them before that something is going to get broken if they don't look after it.

I went in there the other day to put their washing on the bed and as usual there is crap all other the floor. Basically I stood on an object and it's broken. DC was a bit upset, husband making soothing sounds about replacing it don't worry.

AIBU to say under no circumstances am I just going out and replacing it when they were warned repeatedly that leaving it on the floor would get it broken.

FWIW it's a tablet, they also have a computer so not without anything they can use.

I don't see why we should just go out and buy another just because the inevitable has now happened, it's tough imo. Perhaps if they show they can keep their room how it should be they can have one in the future again but not now.

WWYD?

How old are the dc?

DSC in question is 12.

All depends on age op

I wouldn’t replace it.

Sorry name change fail but yes, 12.

I wouldn't replace it. I would make them save up their pocket money and keep their room tidy till Christmas and then maybe think about it.

This happened when they were out by the way so it had been chucked on the floor under a pile of other stuff so completely invisible to anyone walking through!

This is what teenagers are like. Completely self centred, disgusting and messy.
I would replace the tablet if I trod on it though.

Why should we spend money on replacing something they didn't look after after being repeatedly warned? They'll survive without it and perhaps it'll be a bit of a lesson not to leave valuable items under piles of clothes on the floor.

I agree with you that you shouldn't replace immediately, but also I do think that the solution should be age-appropriate.

If they're old enough to do proper chores (clean car, mow lawn, etc) then I think they should do that at a rate of £X/week until they've paid for either the repair or replacement of the item. If younger, I'd say wait till Christmas or their birthday for a replacement.

The DC (DSC) may be absolutely gutted that this has happened, and they may feel extremely sorry, but I would want to see them showing that this has made them change their behaviour and start caring for their possessions more appropriately before replacing. (Possibly an unpopular opnion, but I also think that if they're too young to care properly for a tablet, then they are too young for the tablet at all...)

I would replace it but only after they proved they could look after things.

So they had to keep room tidy, bring down plates, take care of expensive items.

And once they'd proved this for a set amount of time, I would replace.

But take it away if it started to lapse again

I know you NC failed OP but you now have two threads running about your useless husband.

No, it shouldn't be replaced (for a while at least, birthday/Xmas maybe), and no, you shouldn't take the SC to see your dad, and your DH should look after his own children like he agreed with his ExW.

You're married to Disney dad then. Why didn't he chastise them instead of saying he'll replace it?

They'll never learn responsibility if they don't have consequences.

I would ask the DF to tell him to clean his room, then he gets a replacement screen bought for him.going forward DSS washing is his or his DFs responsibility- FWIW I leave DS laundry outside his room.

It is difficult as you did step on the item, albeit natural consequence of untidy room.

Sorry, posted before I saw the age of the DSC - yeah, at our house it'd be either:

• wait till Christmas
• pay for it out of savings
• pay for it by doing chores

Similar has happened with my DSC, both at our house and their DMs house, and the resolution is that they will have to wait to get a new one for birthday or Xmas. It obviously counts towards their normal “quota” of xmas/bday gifts, so they don’t receive it in addition to anything else they would already have been getting IYSWIM. All three SDCs view it as a reasonable consequence.

Don't replace let them work and save for a replacement. Every single time.

If your DH then decides to just replace it, then you know your problem is not with the children.

I am lucky though that my DP and their DM aren’t “Disney” parents.

(Usually)

@theowlwhowasafraidofthedark

This is what teenagers are like. Completely self centred, disgusting and messy. I would replace the tablet if I trod on it though.

Not all of them. I don’t like it when posters write off a whole group of the population as being utterly vile and just shrug as if it’s inevitable. It’s not.

Tell your husband to tell his son to clear his room.

You broke it, you should replace it.

You couldn’t really ask for better natural consequences. I’d offer a way to earn a new one, perhaps through regularly cleaning the room.

@LunaMay

You broke it, you should replace it.

It isn't as black and white as that.

If the son hadn't left it on the floor under s pile of crap, after being asked multiple times to move it, then it wouldn't be broken. He didn't look after it.

If, however, he'd left it on his bed/desk or somewhere else sensible, and OP had knocked it off and broken it, then, there's no real question. In that case, she wouldn't have even bothered asking about it,and it would have likely been fixed/replaced.

@LunaMay

You broke it, you should replace it.

And if I left my phone on the drive and my husband ran over it should he replace that? Or would it be my fault for leaving it where it shouldn't be in the first place?

Nope I absolutely wouldn't replace it - expensive items should not be left on the floor. If your husband wants it replaced then he should do it from his own money. I would also be making them clean their room every week.