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Original poster

To say it shouldn't be replaced.

210 replies

Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 12:55

My DSCs room is absolutely disgusting. I've spoken to DH about it several times and we have both discussed it with DC. There is rubbish in there, we had to disallow food and drink there because they just couldn't be trusted with it but DH still allows them to have "treats" up there on the weekend so bits of sweets/chocolate and so on.

Everything is all over the floor, toys, clothes, books, even their more expensive items like iPads and computer. I've warned them before that something is going to get broken if they don't look after it.

I went in there the other day to put their washing on the bed and as usual there is crap all other the floor. Basically I stood on an object and it's broken. DC was a bit upset, husband making soothing sounds about replacing it don't worry.

AIBU to say under no circumstances am I just going out and replacing it when they were warned repeatedly that leaving it on the floor would get it broken.

FWIW it's a tablet, they also have a computer so not without anything they can use.

I don't see why we should just go out and buy another just because the inevitable has now happened, it's tough imo. Perhaps if they show they can keep their room how it should be they can have one in the future again but not now.

WWYD?

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happinessischocolate · 03/08/2021 13:20

@Woweee2

Why should we spend money on replacing something they didn't look after after being repeatedly warned? They'll survive without it and perhaps it'll be a bit of a lesson not to leave valuable items under piles of clothes on the floor.
Because you trod in it and broke it.

They knew it was there.

If a child's room is messy, leave stuff by the door or only step on the bits of carpet, there's always going to be breakable stuff underneath the mess.

Youseethethingis · 03/08/2021 13:21

If DH wants to Disney dad them then his natural consequence should be that you will no longer have anything to do with their rooms, won't be going in there again with washing or anything else. He can sort it.

Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 13:25

So what does it teach them then? Ignore repeated warnings that leaving valuables hidden on the floor will lead to them getting broken because it's okay, you'll still get it replaced anyway.

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Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 13:28

If my husband left his watch on the floor under his dirty clothes and someone stood on it, the first thing I'd say was 'why the bloody hell did you leave it on the floor?'.

And I guarantee they wouldn't have 'known it was there' they chuck things wherever all over the place and then have to spend time trying to find them again when they want them.

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GarlicBreadItsTheFuture · 03/08/2021 13:30

I agree you broke it and I agree it isn't black and white. Their room, their space. Why are you taking things into their room? Just make it their responsibility or leave it to DH to do the laundry and put it away.

I have teenagers - one generally tidy, the other happy to live in a tip. I don't venture over the threshold and they know if laundry isn't in the basket it won't get washed, if they don't bring crockery downstairs then there is no dinner. And we are also a house with a step-parent and they don't go in either.

happinessischocolate · 03/08/2021 13:34

If my husband left his watch on the floor under his dirty clothes and someone stood on it, the first thing I'd say was 'why the bloody hell did you leave it on the floor?'.

Why is anyone standing on piles of clothes, surely you walk round them.

I have 2 teenagers so I do sympathise, but I don't stand on anything other than the carpet. Probably because I learnt my lesson when they were young and got WWE figures or Lego or some other random bits embedded in my foot 😬 I'm more likely to kneel on an iPad which has been left on the bed than ever stand on any crap on the floor

WestendVBroadway · 03/08/2021 13:34

Do you have your own DCs OP? Would you feel differently in that case?

PalmsandCharms · 03/08/2021 13:35

To not replace is really mean in my book. To upset them like that really isn't normal.

Make them wait, and maybe make them earn it.

Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 13:36

@WestendVBroadway

Do you have your own DCs OP? Would you feel differently in that case?
I do and no.
OP posts:
Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 13:36

@PalmsandCharms

To not replace is really mean in my book. To upset them like that really isn't normal.

Make them wait, and maybe make them earn it.

I said exactly that in my OP.
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user1493494961 · 03/08/2021 13:38

I wouldn't replace it.

PalmsandCharms · 03/08/2021 13:38

@theowlwhowasafraidofthedark

This is what teenagers are like. Completely self centred, disgusting and messy. I would replace the tablet if I trod on it though.
My teen wasnt
girlmom21 · 03/08/2021 13:41

I would tell them they can have a new one for Christmas if they can prove they'll look after it before then.

Canigooutyet · 03/08/2021 13:44

When similar happened with mine they were told tough you will have to save up your money to replace the item.
They had to then buy a new phone and tablet. It was amazing things started be I g taken care off once they had to spend their own money.

Allowing some food and not others sends a mixed signal.

Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 13:48

We don't leave piles of clothes out in the hall because our cat likes to sleep on them and they get covered in hair especially as DSC aren't always here for a few days in a row so someone just goes in and puts them on the bed a few paces from the door and closes it (cat not allowed in bedrooms).

I caught the edge of a pile of clothes with my foot which happened to have this tablet under it and the edge of the screen is smashed. It's not unusable but is hard to watch videos on which is mostly what they use it for. They do have a laptop as well though.

I appreciate people saying 'just stand on the carpet but there is so much crap everywhere it's hard not to catch something sometimes!

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bringbackfonzi · 03/08/2021 13:51

I would replace it. But it sounds like you are certain of your own view that you shouldn't OP, so fair enough.

CornishGem1975 · 03/08/2021 13:52

Nope I wouldn't replace it. And the same would apply whether it was step-children or my own children. If they've been told not to leave their stuff on the floor and they're old enough to a) look after their stuff themselves and b) understand the value of money and c) follow instructions, then they're on their own.

They'll never learn to take care of stuff if it's just handed to them.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/08/2021 13:55

I wouldn’t replace it. And I wouldn’t set foot in there again. He thinks it’s okay for them to live in filth? He can be the one to put their laundry away and go in there for any reason that might arise.

I wouldn’t put up with that sort of squalor in my house anyway but if their dad doesn’t care you’re on a hiding to nothing so just back literally away and don’t go in there. Door closed when they’re at mum’s, dad deals with anything they need doing in there.

I don’t mind a bit of mess and I have a 12 year old step child so I’m not naive but there’s a limited amount of mess that happens before there’s too much for a room to be clean and this sounds like it’s way over that line.

Gross.

1forAll74 · 03/08/2021 13:56

There is nothing wrong with telling a 12 year old to clear the mess up in their room, and that things might get broken if items are left about.

When my son was about 12, his bedroom was full of wires and lots of components allover the units and floor, as he used to build computers and other gadgets all the time. If I ventured into his room, I would end up tripping up over all the random wires and electrical stuff all over. So he eventually saw some sense, and got super organised, as any of my mishaps, could have ruined some of his gadgets and computer stuff. He maybe wasn't bothered about me getting electricuted ha ha. just me ruining his precious workmanship.

Theunamedcat · 03/08/2021 13:56

I wouldn't replace it even if it was my own child's

Jinxdoesit · 03/08/2021 13:57

It's just a natural consequence of their behaviour so no i absolutely wouldn't replace it because they won't learn anything from that but would let them work to earn it in time.

frazzledasarock · 03/08/2021 13:58

Nope I’d not replace it.

If my DC behaved like that I wouldn’t have got them a tablet in the first place to be honest. My teen managed to lose a second phone (got stolen from her pocket), I made her use her broken phone for a year. I’m not made of money and if you don’t keep your valuables safe you can buy your own or make do.

Your H sounds utterly inept though.

Datingandnoideahowto · 03/08/2021 13:58

I would get the screen fixed. There will be a local place might be able to do it and if not I’d replace it. Because you broke it at the end of the day.

You didn’t need to go into the room you could have left the clothes outside the door.

Datingandnoideahowto · 03/08/2021 13:59

Sorry x post re cat hair. If they get cat hair they get cat hair.

Original poster
Woweee2 · 03/08/2021 14:00

@bringbackfonzi

I would replace it. But it sounds like you are certain of your own view that you shouldn't OP, so fair enough.
It does make me curious though as to why bothering giving children warnings/speaking to them about consequences of actions though if you don't bother actually following through once it happens. Why would they keep their room tidy and valuables off the floor in the future if we just go out and get another one now? What incentive to they have to actually learn from it?
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