To say it shouldn't be replaced.

[Woweee2]

My DSCs room is absolutely disgusting. I've spoken to DH about it several times and we have both discussed it with DC. There is rubbish in there, we had to disallow food and drink there because they just couldn't be trusted with it but DH still allows them to have "treats" up there on the weekend so bits of sweets/chocolate and so on.

Everything is all over the floor, toys, clothes, books, even their more expensive items like iPads and computer. I've warned them before that something is going to get broken if they don't look after it.

I went in there the other day to put their washing on the bed and as usual there is crap all other the floor. Basically I stood on an object and it's broken. DC was a bit upset, husband making soothing sounds about replacing it don't worry.

AIBU to say under no circumstances am I just going out and replacing it when they were warned repeatedly that leaving it on the floor would get it broken.

FWIW it's a tablet, they also have a computer so not without anything they can use.

I don't see why we should just go out and buy another just because the inevitable has now happened, it's tough imo. Perhaps if they show they can keep their room how it should be they can have one in the future again but not now.

WWYD?

I can't believe some of these comments.
I can quite happily confirm that if my 5 year old didn't take care of something and it broke as a consequence of that it would not get replaced. Quite confident my friends with same / similar aged children would say the same. In fact it was the same for me as a child.
This was not something OP knocked off and broke. A 12 year old (who sounds quite spoilt to have an expensive tablet and not even take care of it despite reminding to do so!) left it under a pile of crap. An important lesson here for this child. Take care of your stuff. I had a laptop to share with my sister when I became secondary school aged and we were very careful with it. Same with my phone. Knew perfectly well if it got broken, I lost it or whatever else it wouldn't get replaced. The correct thing to do for the benefit of the child is tell them to keep it safe from preventing it from breaking further and they themselves can save up to get it fixed. Although may come to a shock to child things can be fixed and not just replaced. They'll be "accidentally" breaking to get the latest model soon...

@ObviousNameChage

It seems to be really vindictive on this thread, all about teaching a child a lesson. Some adults are bullies.

Expecting children of any age to pick up after themselves is not bullying. It's good parenting ,setting boundaries and teaching them to be decent,functioning humans.

Honestly I think you are over rating being tidy at this age. The messiest of my 4 kids is doing a very responsible job and has a lovely home. Respecting that his room was his has had no long lasting detrimental effects.

Breaking something and refusing to replace it could have longlasting repercussions.

Is your husband Mr Salt OP?
Really I'd be having a word with him, it is doing a disservice to raising a well rounded human being to just replace it.

@acolderwar

Take some responsibility

HAHA at this gem. So the DSC are immune from taking responsibility for basic levels of tidiness and hygiene, the DH is immune from taking any responsibility to parent his children properly, and ALL responsibility for maid duties and money fall to the stepmum. Hilarious.

I don't think maid duties are the stepmothers responsibility. Breaking something that belong to someone else is a different matter.

@Youseethethingis

This an awful lot of handwringing when the fact of the matter is indisputable and really very simple.

Floors are for walking on

Piles of clothes and other items aren't.

@candlelightsatdawn

It seems to be really vindictive on this thread, all about teaching a child a lesson. Some adults are bullies.

You have literally been suggesting the OP stood on it on purpose. Do you realise how ironic the above statement you made was ?

It's called teaching your kid to respect the things that they have. They were warned, it happened it was a accident. Saying there is intention on stepping on it is a very vindictive thing to say.

The OP has said she's warned them, they didn't listen = something was bound to happen. Doesn't mean that OP was doing jig and burning down their items.

Well she deliberately stood on his belongings? Or do you think there is another reason why she deliberately walked on his things. Sounds deliberate doesn't it?

I think there’s 2 solutions.

1- the tablet gets replaced as OP did break it but in order to prevent this from happening again she no longer steps foot into DSC bedroom which included with washing unless the bedroom floor is clear of any and all clutter/mess

2- the result of DSC bedroom not being clean is that the tablet has been broken, as a result they will now be unable to use the tablet fully until it can be fixed or replaced- whether this is via a Xmas or birthday present or earning the money.

I caught the edge of a pile of clothes with my foot which happened to have this tablet under it and the edge of the screen is smashed

Sorry @ancientgran which part of the OP directly saying that, is me making it up?

And yes, absolutely, it could have been already broken and hidden. When a much younger DS would just chuck things down, they'd be visible. This iPad was under a pile of clothes. Like the PP who's son hid the laptop he'd broken. And my DS who broke his alarm clock (after being told numerous times, don't keep pulling the back off, it will break, and that's exactly what happened) and he buried it at the bottom of his laundry basket.

It might have been OP catching it with her foot. Or it might have been that.

It wouldn't have been any of those things if the 12 year old who had repeatedly been told to stop leaving an £800 iPad on the floor before an accident happened, had any respect.

@OurChristmasMiracle

I think there’s 2 solutions.

1- the tablet gets replaced as OP did break it but in order to prevent this from happening again she no longer steps foot into DSC bedroom which included with washing unless the bedroom floor is clear of any and all clutter/mess

2- the result of DSC bedroom not being clean is that the tablet has been broken, as a result they will now be unable to use the tablet fully until it can be fixed or replaced- whether this is via a Xmas or birthday present or earning the money.

1 is certainly the most resonable result.

@TwinsandTrifle

I caught the edge of a pile of clothes with my foot which happened to have this tablet under it and the edge of the screen is smashed

Sorry @ancientgran which part of the OP directly saying that, is me making it up?

And yes, absolutely, it could have been already broken and hidden. When a much younger DS would just chuck things down, they'd be visible. This iPad was under a pile of clothes. Like the PP who's son hid the laptop he'd broken. And my DS who broke his alarm clock (after being told numerous times, don't keep pulling the back off, it will break, and that's exactly what happened) and he buried it at the bottom of his laundry basket.

It might have been OP catching it with her foot. Or it might have been that.

It wouldn't have been any of those things if the 12 year old who had repeatedly been told to stop leaving an £800 iPad on the floor before an accident happened, had any respect.

Maybe have a read yourself, it wasn't an £800 ipad.

You know I always wondered how some adults think that they can behave badly and have no consequences for it.

Reading this thread it's occurred to me that basically if they aren't taught lessons in childhood re actions and consequences by their primary care gives (who point the blame anywhere else but at their DC) and then those same children grow up to do the same thing over and over and then repeat the cycle with their own kids.

I used to be baffled when my ex ML used to make excuses for my ex when he cheated on me while pregnant and after losing our DC who was born still. He was sad, he was stressed ect. To this day he truly doesn't know or acknowledge how our relationship broke down.

I'm still quite friendly with him because he's a good dad to our child and partly because it wasn't all his fault his mum never taught him this lesson and still refuses to teach him that lesson making excuses after excuse. Honestly I feel sorry for him.

I also feel sorry for anyone who doesn't teach their kids about cause and effect. It can have some devastating consequences in later life for them I can assure you.

i would replace someones ipad that i stood on while going in their room.

I wouldnt replace it if they broke it though, but if you walked through his room, stepping on things on the floor then as much as its frustrating, its still you that broke it in his own space.

I do think it warrants a big discussion though and maybe not actually rushing to replace quickly, as a learning opportunity about being careful with your things. Does he need support still to keep his space organised? My teens do. It gets messy in all their rooms, and id probably be really cross if i ended up standing on something because there was no clear floor to walk, but standing on a pile of things that had an ipad underneath? Id say there was a high chance the walking ON his stuff was done passive aggressively/purposely and its hardly surprising something broke.

@candlelightsatdawn

You know I always wondered how some adults think that they can behave badly and have no consequences for it.

Reading this thread it's occurred to me that basically if they aren't taught lessons in childhood re actions and consequences by their primary care gives (who point the blame anywhere else but at their DC) and then those same children grow up to do the same thing over and over and then repeat the cycle with their own kids.

I used to be baffled when my ex ML used to make excuses for my ex when he cheated on me while pregnant and after losing our DC who was born still. He was sad, he was stressed ect. To this day he truly doesn't know or acknowledge how our relationship broke down.

I'm still quite friendly with him because he's a good dad to our child and partly because it wasn't all his fault his mum never taught him this lesson and still refuses to teach him that lesson making excuses after excuse. Honestly I feel sorry for him.

I also feel sorry for anyone who doesn't teach their kids about cause and effect. It can have some devastating consequences in later life for them I can assure you.

But there is cause and effect in walking into someone else's bedroom and standing on their possessions.

I'd entirely agree with you if he'd done this in a communal area but it wasn't.

@ancientgran Well she deliberately stood on his belongings? Or do you think there is another reason why she deliberately walked on his things. Sounds deliberate doesn't it?

She wasn't walking on the walls, she was walking on the floor. Which is for primarily walking on (shocking that she's even walking into a room she's pays for)

The floor isn't for where junk, clothes or tablets to live. If everything was where it should be this wouldn't have happened.
But alas the kids didn't learn. So the kids will have to go without until they do.

Someone mentioned if this wasn’t a SM the response would be different.

Mine would be in a way (I said maybe 50:50 repair but delayed, dad to pay SM share and do more to get that room clean).

I’d add that the parent should be doing more to ensure that room is clean, using carrot and stick.

I don’t see their room or laundry for that matter as the SM responsibility.

I’m very interested to know dads opinion on all this. I hope he takes responsibility for the situation.

Well she deliberately stood on his belongings? Or do you think there is another reason why she deliberately walked on his things. Sounds deliberate doesn't it?

Again. Which part of what the OP says are you getting this from?

Here it is again:

I caught the edge of a pile of clothes with my foot which happened to have this tablet under it and the edge of the screen is smashed

I was carrying some laundry upstairs this morning. I did not see DS trainers which he'd kicked off outside the study and left there. I trod on and tripped on a trainer. Presumably this is equally deliberate trampling of his belongings?

Likewise, if I'm carrying laundry into DTwins room and there are toys all over the floor (young babies who fling their teddies) I will kick said soft toys out the way. Soft toys don't break. Clothes don't break if you catch the edge of a pile with your foot. The iPad was specifically not supposed to be there, on repeat instruction from OP and DH.

There are some bonkers replies on here.

Ahhhhh. A great point. The iPad wasnt £800. It was in addition to the £800 laptop that they have as well. Perhaps a paltry £350 one that was fine to be strewn on the floor in ignorance to the repeated instruction not too. These poor bloody kids

Piles of clothes and other items aren't
You're right by Christ.
I shall simplify further.
Piles of clothes and other items (particularly expensive and very breakable items) do not belong on floors.
Feet belong on floors.
HTH.

@Notthefinechina
Not maintaining a tidy room or having your tablet broken through your carelessness or some one else's failure to be observant is no indication that you will fail to grow into a well rounded , caring, and successful human being.

My sister's boss may have the most untidy office that I have ever encountered, and yet he is one of the most thoughtful and giving persons that I have ever met. From that untidy office, he runs one of the most successful businesses of its kind in their state.

Again, I agree with @ancientgran 😁

It wouldn't be automatically replaced in our house. Birthday/Christmas from us plus 50% from them.

I find it hard to believe that an adult could walk on an iPad without realising what they were doing tbh.

@Itsnotover

I find it hard to believe that an adult could walk on an iPad without realising what they were doing tbh.

I find it hard to believe an adult couldn't read the full thread before commenting.

The iPad wasn't in view, it was hidden underneath other things as has been clearly explained.

What you want isn't relevant because you're going to get shafted by insisting your husband brings up his children responsibly and I don't want that for you. This is hopeless. If it doesn't come from him, it's not worth it.