Inviting SC to disneyworld - part 2.

[Ohanaa]

Update to my previous thread as I said I would update with the mothers reply.

Previous thread for anyone that’s missed it and reads this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4294452-To-not-invite-step-child-to-Disneyworld-next-year

We sent a message to dsc mum yesterday fully explaining the plan, rough dates and asking if DSC would like to come but we also explained that she would need to pay upfront and we would reimburse once we are there.

Her reply was...

I will not be giving you a fucking penny.

Another text was sent explaining she would
Be paid back in full but due to the past we won’t be paying the money upfront.

She replied with a simple ‘No’.

So SC won’t be coming and her mum can’t even talk about it like a grown up. It’s a shame even if I don’t think DSC would enjoy it that much.

I will get on with booking the holiday this week and she can enjoy her trip with her mum when she goes.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to my previous thread.

Another vote for move on. You have tried. It’s on the mum now

This has made it into the tabloids btw

[quote ReginaaPhalange]@SmidgenofaPigeon so what if she sees this thread - maybe the mum Will see how she is being very unreasonable and perhaps rethink her decision.
[/quote]
It’s all over fb now so she might 🤣🤣

What people don’t seem to get is that the SD was never going to go: she either wouldn’t be allowed to attend by her mother or would want to stay at home. This post is asking how to minimise chaos. OP is being polite and courteous to ensure she’s doing the right thing, this was all about managing the fallout both in terms of her finances AND the inevitable post holiday blame fest when SD realizes she missed out.

OP did the right thing.

Nah you just don't want to take her, clear as day from the last thread and this one.

There's a way of doing it where you wouldn't lose any money and you're not even interested.

I feel so sorry for your step daughter. I hope you feel good about yourself.

What a shame she can't even be civil about it. Never mind. Her daughter is the one losing out.

@FightingtheFoo

Nah you just don't want to take her, clear as day from the last thread and this one.

There's a way of doing it where you wouldn't lose any money and you're not even interested.

I feel so sorry for your step daughter. I hope you feel good about yourself.

I feel sorry for the stepdaughter having a mum who won't even try and come up with a solution just hurls insults.

@FightingtheFoo

Nah you just don't want to take her, clear as day from the last thread and this one.

There's a way of doing it where you wouldn't lose any money and you're not even interested.

I feel so sorry for your step daughter. I hope you feel good about yourself.

Yes I 100% agree with this

There's a way of doing it where you wouldn't lose any money and you're not even interested.

@FightingtheFoo how could she have done it without loosing any money? That would have been the best situation.

Personally, wouldn’t have bothered with that option and would of just applied for a court order to take dsc.

Could that be an option if dsc is adamant they wanted to go?

Otherwise I think you did the right thing.

Have a brill holiday xx

@LtDansleg how is it all over Facebook?

I've read your last thread where you built your narrative around the decision you had already taken. I'd have given you the same response. Poor child.

(and as I said on last thread, thankful that my DCs' SM genuinely cares for them and included them in everything)

when you start planning check out www.thedibb.com there's loads.of very knowledgeable people on there who will help you get the best deal.

I've heard of so many people over paying or getting ripped off because they don't do their research. E.g. If you get a quote, post it on there & people will tell you if it's a good deal.or not.

Specifically for car hire, there's someone on there called Andy who works for a car hire company who are always reasonable and nothing to pay until a few weeks before. Don't be stitched up buying travel agent super expensive car insurance, use Money Maxim to upgrade the basic insurance

[quote ReginaaPhalange]@LtDansleg how is it all over Facebook? [/quote]
A journalists seen this and posted it

Here

@LtDansleg bloody journalists!!!

@SquashMinusIsShit absolutely second this!! The dibb is a great website!

Very few people could pay out circa 1k plus with a few weeks notice.

You could take dsd for a week with the plan to let her go home on her own (accompanied flying) home so she is not too homesick? Alternatively (and a bit drastic I know) invite her mother along too? (staying elsewhere of course)

@Halyaa Unwarranted. I think OP would have needed the deposit from DSD’s mum, and if it was purely a question of money there would be a different way of responding to the idea, such that dsd could go on the trip - for example - dates would be kept free etc.
OP would pay for everything if reasonably secure that dsd would actually (be supported by her mother) be able to go.

The mother’s out of hand response is bitter, childish, selfish etc.

I’m not entirely against the idea of the mum paying to then be reimbursed but I wonder, did you word it exactly as you put on here because I can see that getting her back up.

Op you're a stepmum so whatever you do you will be the bad guy.
Annoying but true.

This is such a non-issue. Dsc's mum has an acrimonious relationship with Dad and OP, which leads to a lot of game-playing. It means that a couple thousand pounds on dsc's trip MIGHT be wasted as Mum may pull her out last minute. It's a legitimate concern.

OP invited dsc. She offered to pay as long as Mum put in a refundable deposit. Mum said no.

None of that is the op's fault.