Inviting SC to disneyworld - part 2.

[Ohanaa]

Update to my previous thread as I said I would update with the mothers reply.

Previous thread for anyone that’s missed it and reads this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4294452-To-not-invite-step-child-to-Disneyworld-next-year

We sent a message to dsc mum yesterday fully explaining the plan, rough dates and asking if DSC would like to come but we also explained that she would need to pay upfront and we would reimburse once we are there.

Her reply was...

I will not be giving you a fucking penny.

Another text was sent explaining she would
Be paid back in full but due to the past we won’t be paying the money upfront.

She replied with a simple ‘No’.

So SC won’t be coming and her mum can’t even talk about it like a grown up. It’s a shame even if I don’t think DSC would enjoy it that much.

I will get on with booking the holiday this week and she can enjoy her trip with her mum when she goes.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to my previous thread.

What a shame the child misses out

@PineapplePatsy

What a shame the child misses out

I agree.

To be fair if someone told me I had to pay like that I would have said no too!

Poor child

@Sirzy

To be fair if someone told me I had to pay like that I would have said no too!

Poor child

Actions have consequences. It’s her actions that warranted it.

Oh poor kid caught up in this.

You did the right thing, OP. Sounds like DSD's mother would take glee out of cancelling last minute and wasting your money if you paid upfront.

Honestly, if I'd had the same text from my ex and his gf I'd have sent the exact same responses 🤷‍♀️ Book the holiday, tell your DSC they're going... Mum is hardly going to pull the opportunity to go to Disney from her DC?

@coconutpie

You did the right thing, OP. Sounds like DSD's mother would take glee out of cancelling last minute and wasting your money if you paid upfront.

I fully agree. I think her reply shows this! She can’t even be bothered to talk about it properly.

It’s a shame but my kids won’t miss out going.

@Meggymoo777

Honestly, if I'd had the same text from my ex and his gf I'd have sent the exact same responses 🤷‍♀️ Book the holiday, tell your DSC they're going... Mum is hardly going to pull the opportunity to go to Disney from her DC?

You clearly haven’t read my other thread

@Meggymoo777

Honestly, if I'd had the same text from my ex and his gf I'd have sent the exact same responses 🤷‍♀️ Book the holiday, tell your DSC they're going... Mum is hardly going to pull the opportunity to go to Disney from her DC?

We are married too.

@Meggymoo777

Honestly, if I'd had the same text from my ex and his gf I'd have sent the exact same responses 🤷‍♀️ Book the holiday, tell your DSC they're going... Mum is hardly going to pull the opportunity to go to Disney from her DC?

Did you read the previous thread?

Sending a text with it as a done deal is hardly talking about it properly is it!

Poor child stuck in the middle of all this pettiness

I think that was a good compromise and a shame the mum couldn’t do it for her DD

I don’t know why this is being continued to be hashed out. She said no, ok she was very rude, but now I presume we’re going to have a load more pages bitching about how shitty and unreasonable she is.

Are you prepared for the fallout if she gets hold of this thread or someone shows it to her? As it’s pretty detail-specific.

Wow! What a charmer!

Keep those text messages in case your DSD ever asks why she isn't coming, and also if her mum brings it up again, say "well we invited DSD and explained the situation but you put a stop to it"

You've done the right thing so please don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

@Sirzy

Sending a text with it as a done deal is hardly talking about it properly is it!

Poor child stuck in the middle of all this pettiness

How much input do you think the mum should have? Her past actions have created this situation.

Sorted.
Move on from it.

You were reasonable about it.

Irrespective of means, loosing thousands on the whim of another would be very silly.

@SmidgenofaPigeon so what if she sees this thread - maybe the mum Will see how she is being very unreasonable and perhaps rethink her decision.

@Sirzy

To be fair if someone told me I had to pay like that I would have said no too!

Poor child

There’s a reason behind it though. Would you pay thousands of pounds for your step children to go to Disney for 3 weeks, knowing full well that their mum is going to pull them out days before you’re meant to go?

This is a exactly what I would have suggested on your very first OP.

Put the decision exactly where it needs to be.

It’s clear that the DSD DM has been vexatious throughout so if she wants her DD to go - she can.

You have just smoked her out and DSD can see who is being manipulative.

Good for you.

I read your last thread and meant to reply then. I've been to Disneyworld numerous times and beyond the flights I don't understand how this would cost you "thousands" upfront for 1 extra person.

Park tickets you can buy once you get there.

Accommodation - You're already 4 people so 1 extra is hardly going to cost any more in terms of sleeping arrangements - zero if you're getting a villa.

And flights you could probably cash in for air miles or put them towards a future holiday if she pulls out last minute.

"Actions have consequences" but your SC hasn't done anything to deserve these consequences and she'll be the one missing out.

Unsurprising result OP. Whilst I agree with others that if I were in the ex's position there's no way I would say yes to this, I can also see why it may have been too little too late for you guys in terms of taking the risk.

Does DSD know about the trip yet? Texting the mum will obviously give her the opportunity to get in there fast and paint it in the most negative light possible.

Well done for trying OP.

@FightingtheFoo

I read your last thread and meant to reply then. I've been to Disneyworld numerous times and beyond the flights I don't understand how this would cost you "thousands" upfront for 1 extra person.

Park tickets you can buy once you get there.

Accommodation - You're already 4 people so 1 extra is hardly going to cost any more in terms of sleeping arrangements - zero if you're getting a villa.

And flights you could probably cash in for air miles or put them towards a future holiday if she pulls out last minute.

"Actions have consequences" but your SC hasn't done anything to deserve these consequences and she'll be the one missing out.

I’m booking and paying for everything upfront.

Including tickets. It may be easy for someone that’s been multiple times but I haven’t so it’s all new. It will also be going in the school holidays.

I want everything sorted before we go. We are not staying at a value resort.

If she comes we need a bigger room and hire car. Why would I pay for a bigger room and hire car for no reason. Hire car prices at the moment are extortionate.. let alone paying for a bigger car that’s not needed or a bigger room.

I don’t want air miles if she pulls out last minute.

Would you pay thousands of pounds for your step children to go to Disney for 3 weeks, knowing full well that their mum is going to pull them out days before you’re meant to go?

I think it's wrong not to. Better to postpone the trip for a couple of years so the SC can have more say in whether she wants to come and her mum will feel more comfortable with her being away. It will be awful for her to miss out because of OP's selfishness. It isn't fair to take problems with exes/money out on children.