Inviting SC to disneyworld - part 2.

[Ohanaa]

Update to my previous thread as I said I would update with the mothers reply.

Previous thread for anyone that’s missed it and reads this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4294452-To-not-invite-step-child-to-Disneyworld-next-year

We sent a message to dsc mum yesterday fully explaining the plan, rough dates and asking if DSC would like to come but we also explained that she would need to pay upfront and we would reimburse once we are there.

Her reply was...

I will not be giving you a fucking penny.

Another text was sent explaining she would
Be paid back in full but due to the past we won’t be paying the money upfront.

She replied with a simple ‘No’.

So SC won’t be coming and her mum can’t even talk about it like a grown up. It’s a shame even if I don’t think DSC would enjoy it that much.

I will get on with booking the holiday this week and she can enjoy her trip with her mum when she goes.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to my previous thread.

Oh. I thought that was to just report a comment

Well yeah you're not wrong But if you click report on your initial post and then explain what you want, I'm sure they'll listen.

Yep no child should see that her Dad thinks of her as being born out of a boredom fuck

@FootballisgoingtoRome almost like your glossing over the fact that the mum is going to be reimbursed as soon as the flight lands. She will be out no money, or maybe you just haven't read the threads

It's on the mum because of her actions alone. She caused it, she caused this, this is the result. Actions = consequences.

I think you sound very triggered and I think you need to look inside and wonder why. Truly hope you work it out, for you and your kids sake 💐

@Ohanaai it’s not just on Mumsnet is it . It’s been picked up by the press and I have personally seen this thread linked on Facebook. That poor child .

If you want threads removed report them @Ohanaa .

Personally I hope you don't because it's a typical narrative of how SM's are treated here.

I'd like that to stand, but I appreciate why you might want to have one or both threads zapped.

[quote FootballisgoingtoRome]@Ohanaai it’s not just on Mumsnet is it . It’s been picked up by the press and I have personally seen this thread linked on Facebook. That poor child .[/quote]

Where?

@FootballisgoingtoRome

Yep no child should see that her Dad thinks of her as being born out of a boredom fuck

You really are like a dog with a bone regarding that comment when it had 0 to do with the question.

Also Millions of kids are conceived by accident. It isn’t anything new. It happens.

She knows her parents have never been together so I’m sure she will work out she wasn’t planned.

[quote newomums]@FootballisgoingtoRome almost like your glossing over the fact that the mum is going to be reimbursed as soon as the flight lands. She will be out no money, or maybe you just haven't read the threads

It's on the mum because of her actions alone. She caused it, she caused this, this is the result. Actions = consequences.

I think you sound very triggered and I think you need to look inside and wonder why. Truly hope you work it out, for you and your kids sake 💐[/quote]
Can you just pull out thousands with a few weeks notice. I’m sure you can . Maybe seek help as not being able to look your own child in the eye is worrying .Poor children .

[quote FootballisgoingtoRome]@Ohanaai it’s not just on Mumsnet is it . It’s been picked up by the press and I have personally seen this thread linked on Facebook. That poor child .[/quote]

Oh and "the poor child".

Change your perspective.

"The shitty mother".

@FootballisgoingtoRome ahh I see where your going here. New angle to try and bash the OP. Come on where's the link ? We are dying to read it 🙄

@FootballisgoingtoRome maybe get some reading lessons lovely or parenting classes.

You seem to be struggling. I can find a link for you if you need help 😊

[quote newomums]@FootballisgoingtoRome ahh I see where your going here. New angle to try and bash the OP. Come on where's the link ? We are dying to read it 🙄
[/quote]
I’m not linking to a private Facebook group I’m in. But if you actually read the thread you will see people have already posted where it is in the rhe press.

Again where in the press?

Maybe it should be (if the OP is ok) to demonstrate the issues caused by being a mother who refuses to facilitate contact with her child's father?

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/mum-receives-backlash-after-planning-21055369

It’s on this thread but if you aren’t capable of reading I can link it.

*You really are like a dog with a bone regarding that comment when it had 0 to do with the question.

Also Millions of kids are conceived by accident. It isn’t anything new. It happens.

She knows her parents have never been together so I’m sure she will work out she wasn’t planned.*

Yes, but OP, there's a difference between knowing your parents weren't together and hearing such utter disdain from your stepmother (apparently co-signed by your father) about the circumstances of your conception.

Disney aside, I can't imagine that anyone would think it reasonable for you to refer to your step-daughter or her mother in that way. It's cruel about a person you purport to care for.

I have no doubt that you're usually a great stepmother. I have no doubt that her mother is frustrating. But the absolute contempt and derision that you've expressed repeatedly throughout the thread (not just that comment, but some of the tone in the way you predict her misery as a justification for not wanting to ask her in the first place) isn't very self-aware. I'd take a beat, read back through what you've written, and ask MNHQ to remove the thread.

Yikes. I actually am in agreement with the others here, OP. I really do recommend you get these threads removed for the sake of privacy and well-being of everyone involved.
It’s easy to think this site is anonymous sometimes, but this is just a strong reminder that it isn’t.

There are hundreds of thousands of articles on the internet, the chances of a fourteen year old girl seeing that one and clicking on it are very slim. It wasn't exactly on the News at 10.

Part of me hopes SC' mum pick up on the game OP is playing, and get back to her to say, that actually, as her DD so desperately wants to go, she's agreeing to paying the deposit, and will draw a contract to ensure she gets the money back.

I think it's clear that would be the worse outcome for OP, as it's been made clear across the two threads that she just doesn't want to fork out, nor want her SD presence there.

@vivainsomnia

Part of me hopes SC' mum pick up on the game OP is playing, and get back to her to say, that actually, as her DD so desperately wants to go, she's agreeing to paying the deposit, and will draw a contract to ensure she gets the money back.

I think it's clear that would be the worse outcome for OP, as it's been made clear across the two threads that she just doesn't want to fork out, nor want her SD presence there.

Do your kids have a stepmother by any chance?

@DeRigueurMortis

Again where in the press?

Maybe it should be (if the OP is ok) to demonstrate the issues caused by being a mother who refuses to facilitate contact with her child's father?

OP doesn't get to decide if it is ok with it going to the press. It really doesn't work that way.

Also you really should find out how to use google, its a marvellous tool and if you just put in stepmother and disneyland, it would've shown the article immediately.

Op I agree that you have done the right thing here but I feel that there might be a need to try and bring the mother around.

Can you try again with her and just say that you would feel it really unfair for DC to miss out and can you try and come to some mutual arrangement over the cost of things? Is it that she can’t afford the money upfront or does she flat out not want Dc to go? It’s a great opportunity for a child and you feel it would deploy hurt her if she missed out over this?

I understand how hard it would be, and for those who aren’t in this unfortunately situation, it s absolutely shite when the other parent constantly pulls their child out of a holiday, we have had it many times before where we all have holiday anxiety before we go as we have lost money in the past!!

@Nancydrawn

*You really are like a dog with a bone regarding that comment when it had 0 to do with the question.

Also Millions of kids are conceived by accident. It isn’t anything new. It happens.

She knows her parents have never been together so I’m sure she will work out she wasn’t planned.*

Yes, but OP, there's a difference between knowing your parents weren't together and hearing such utter disdain from your stepmother (apparently co-signed by your father) about the circumstances of your conception.

Disney aside, I can't imagine that anyone would think it reasonable for you to refer to your step-daughter or her mother in that way. It's cruel about a person you purport to care for.

I have no doubt that you're usually a great stepmother. I have no doubt that her mother is frustrating. But the absolute contempt and derision that you've expressed repeatedly throughout the thread (not just that comment, but some of the tone in the way you predict her misery as a justification for not wanting to ask her in the first place) isn't very self-aware. I'd take a beat, read back through what you've written, and ask MNHQ to remove the thread.

This. You're not coming across very well, OP. In real life I imagine you're fine, but reading the way you write about your husband's child's mother makes me wince. It's not nice.

@FootballisgoingtoRome

She is horrible to the child and no matter what she says is jealous that DSD will always be her husbands first born . It is obvious for anyone to see .

Not obvious at all. Are you a jealous first wife, perhaps? It's obvious for anyone to see.

@vivainsomnia

Part of me hopes SC' mum pick up on the game OP is playing, and get back to her to say, that actually, as her DD so desperately wants to go, she's agreeing to paying the deposit, and will draw a contract to ensure she gets the money back.

I think it's clear that would be the worse outcome for OP, as it's been made clear across the two threads that she just doesn't want to fork out, nor want her SD presence there.

Why would it? Op would be happy to take her if she wasn't at risk of losing thousands. The only person playing games here is the mum.