Inviting SC to disneyworld - part 2.

[Ohanaa]

Update to my previous thread as I said I would update with the mothers reply.

Previous thread for anyone that’s missed it and reads this.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4294452-To-not-invite-step-child-to-Disneyworld-next-year

We sent a message to dsc mum yesterday fully explaining the plan, rough dates and asking if DSC would like to come but we also explained that she would need to pay upfront and we would reimburse once we are there.

Her reply was...

I will not be giving you a fucking penny.

Another text was sent explaining she would
Be paid back in full but due to the past we won’t be paying the money upfront.

She replied with a simple ‘No’.

So SC won’t be coming and her mum can’t even talk about it like a grown up. It’s a shame even if I don’t think DSC would enjoy it that much.

I will get on with booking the holiday this week and she can enjoy her trip with her mum when she goes.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to my previous thread.

@FootballisgoingtoRome it only takes once to damage someone - let alone your own child .

As a women and a mother I would horrified it happened at all and ex's new wife paid for it and lost the money. Sorry but I couldn't look my child in the eye if I did that, where is the mums self respect ?

OP it might take some time, but I think it would help the thread if you listed all the mother's - and DSD's - flakiness. Rather than posting one or two incidents and then saying 'but there's a lot more'. Knowing the full extent would help the context.

@FootballisgoingtoRome

She is horrible to the child and no matter what she says is jealous that DSD will always be her husbands first born . It is obvious for anyone to see .

Well because you said it then it must be true.

You do know most people don’t give a shit about having someone’s first born. Only on mumsnet you read this utter crap.

It is so clear from both your threads that you dislike / are jealous of the child and can only imagine how she must feel around you.

Then you didn't read the last thread. The DSD texts OP several times a day just to chat, asked OP to get the ingredients to make a cheesecake this weekend because that's what she fancied doing, and has a pet she loves at OP's when her mother won't let her have one. That seems a reasonable picture of how DSD feels when she's with her father and OP.

@toocold54

It's almost like I read the previous thread to... and agree with the OP and think the mums getting a taste of her own medicine - people commenting going how dare you speak about the mum like this is what I was responding too.

But sure take your own advice and maybe rtft the first one. You might see my posts on that 😂😂

[quote newomums]@FootballisgoingtoRome it only takes once to damage someone - let alone your own child .

As a women and a mother I would horrified it happened at all and ex's new wife paid for it and lost the money. Sorry but I couldn't look my child in the eye if I did that, where is the mums self respect ?

[/quote]
The child of 10 changed her mind and didn’t want to go away at Christmas time anymore . What a bizarre thing to not the able to look a child in eye for . Maybe she should have been sent kicking and screaming and man handled in a car to the holiday ? Would that have been preferable to you ? She was 10 .

@Ohanaa keep repeating that to yourself and maybe one day you will believe it.

Sorry but I couldn't look my child in the eye if I did that, where is the mums self respect

You couldn’t look your own child in the eye! WTAF!! Please tell me you’re not a parent!!

@HalzTangz

I read the other thread.

Only one holiday she pulled out.

But then mum probably read on here how her child wasn't wanted and she was just a boredom fuck. Let's hope he doest think the same about you should you split in the future.

Also, why are you asking mum for full payment, at most it should be 50%, your husband is responsible for the other 50%.

Did you even take into consideration the mother might not have that sort of money to pay up front. No, your too selfish to think of others, especially the DSC

Yes! Let’s hope he doesn’t think that but since we have been together over 10 years and he proposed and married me I’m Going to guess I’m a bit more then that.

@toocold54 I was just hoping the same

OP I was on your side for a while because I think your money is yours to do with as you see and you did give the mother the opportunity for DSD to go to Disney but I can’t for the life of me understand why you would be happy for these threads to remain active and not removed. I can only think you want the mother and possibly DSD to read them, there’s plenty of very identifying details even if you have changed the ages of the children and they’re going to work out very quickly it’s about them. I feel very sad for everyone involved.

@FootballisgoingtoRome kind like I'm a parent and am raising a kid to respect promises they make right and if they don't I honour that promise and make sure that I pay for it 🥴 shocking, it's a novel idea.

It's called taking and teaching being accountable. Sadly it would seem you disagree with this approach. Your poor children.

But please paint a picture like 10 year old is being taken away in a box to be starved and hates seeing her DH and SM 😵‍💫 it fits your narrative better.

@toocold54

Sorry but I couldn't look my child in the eye if I did that, where is the mums self respect

You couldn’t look your own child in the eye! WTAF!! Please tell me you’re not a parent!!

What denying my kid a holiday with their parent because I threw my toys out the pram. Yer I wouldn't be able to do that, but you do you hun :)

@Feedingthebirds1

It is so clear from both your threads that you dislike / are jealous of the child and can only imagine how she must feel around you.

Then you didn't read the last thread. The DSD texts OP several times a day just to chat, asked OP to get the ingredients to make a cheesecake this weekend because that's what she fancied doing, and has a pet she loves at OP's when her mother won't let her have one. That seems a reasonable picture of how DSD feels when she's with her father and OP.

Thanks. She loves that pet too... guess which evil step mother agreed to clean it out for her though and feed it when she’s not here so she can have it! Her dad is allergic to sawdust so he can’t but I said I’d do it so she could have it.

Yes yes that’s me.

I’m sure someone will come along and find some ulterior motive though behind it.

It's a shame for the kid but given the circumstances, you did what you could OP. Unsurprised to see people on here rush to stick the boot into the evil stepmother, though. It's par for the course for SM to always be in the wrong.

@AllyBama

OP I was on your side for a while because I think your money is yours to do with as you see and you did give the mother the opportunity for DSD to go to Disney but I can’t for the life of me understand why you would be happy for these threads to remain active and not removed. I can only think you want the mother and possibly DSD to read them, there’s plenty of very identifying details even if you have changed the ages of the children and they’re going to work out very quickly it’s about them. I feel very sad for everyone involved.

I don’t know how to get the first thread removed ? There is no option for me to delete. Iv already tried when I went back and found it.

I said on that thread I was a lurker and I made this account to ask so I’m new to the inner workings of it as I used to just read without an account.

[quote newomums]@FootballisgoingtoRome kind like I'm a parent and am raising a kid to respect promises they make right and if they don't I honour that promise and make sure that I pay for it 🥴 shocking, it's a novel idea.

It's called taking and teaching being accountable. Sadly it would seem you disagree with this approach. Your poor children.

But please paint a picture like 10 year old is being taken away in a box to be starved and hates seeing her DH and SM 😵‍💫 it fits your narrative better.
[/quote]
Sure but if your weren’t aware the child has two parents it isn’t just down to the mum to pay for it all. Maybe the DSD and the OPs husband should have halved in for the extra cost of the child changing their mind about going on a holiday when she was 10. But you seem to think it falls all on the MUM bizarre reaction. I actually feel sorry for any children you have you sound unhinged not being able to look a child in the eye in they change their mind about something they agreed to. You know this isn’t North Korea we are all allowed to change our minds right ?

I don’t know how to get the first thread removed ? There is no option for me to delete. Iv already tried when I went back and found it.

Report it to MNHQ and I'm sure they'll take it down for you.

Golly this thread is a blast.

Typical SM's are evil.

Have to suck up years of awful behaviour from the mother at the expense of your own children.

The cry's of "think of the child" - well think of the OP's children for a moment.

You know - the ones who unlike their half sibling have never been to Florida/Disney never mind having the option to go a third time.

The money wasted on holidays that never happened/binned trainers/court cases etc that could have been spent productivity on all the children.

I'm so relieved that my SC's mother is a nice, rational person that works in tandem with DH to help provide a loving and fair set up with all the children's (step and half siblings on both sides) best interests at heart (as do I).

@FootballisgoingtoRome - you really didn’t read the other thread properly hun. DSC mum cancelled the trip at Xmas. Not DSC.

@Ohanaa you can report and ask Mumsnet to delete it. You really should as it will crush that poor child to see what you and her Dad really think about her .

@SionnachRua

I don’t know how to get the first thread removed ? There is no option for me to delete. Iv already tried when I went back and found it.

Report it to MNHQ and I'm sure they'll take it down for you.

Oh. I thought that was to just report a comment

[quote FootballisgoingtoRome]@Ohanaa you can report and ask Mumsnet to delete it. You really should as it will crush that poor child to see what you and her Dad really think about her .[/quote]

I agree, OP. I'd report asap. If I were a young child and learned that I was the product of a "fuck when my father was bored," I'd be devastated. The fact that it's true wouldn't make it less devastating, it would make it worse.

[quote FootballisgoingtoRome]@Ohanaa you can report and ask Mumsnet to delete it. You really should as it will crush that poor child to see what you and her Dad really think about her .[/quote]
I’m pretty sure my DSC isn’t scrolling through bloody mumsnet she’s all boys & tik tok