Birthdays and visits

[Lovelife12345]

So my partner has been going up to see his children Every other Friday now since about July, as Saturdays wasn't working with trains etc. We had to miss a Friday the other week as our baby was admitted into hospital overnight but then the following visit we stayed overnight and saw them for two days and bought them a gift from their baby brother to apologise and the ex wife although annoyed at first because he choose a sick baby over seeing the girls but soon apologised and realised he would be worried and not leave his side as it brought back memories of his youngest daughter hospital. But fast forward to his visit next Friday. Next Friday is my eldest son (his stepsons) birthday and I am not dragging him on a 4 hour round trip where he wouldn't see any of my family as they work until 5 otherwise plus he's 4 it wouldn't be fair. Also my son seems him as his dad, choose to call him daddy and their bond is amazing. We both felt if my partner went to visit the girls and he wasn't there for his birthday he would feel massively rejected and wonder what he's done wrong. So we have spoken to the ex wife who has no flew of the handle. My partner has said he would travel up the Saturday instead via train with our baby to see them but she is kicking off and saying it's unreasonable. And because for my birthday today and my sons birthday we are off to see a musical show instead of doing a party for my son she reckoned it shouldn't matter. What would your opinions and suggestions be?

We have just been informed we aren't allowed them down to stay over Christmas. We have been evicted as landlord is selling house and the only property we found was a two bedroom, which is less than ideal because our youngest keeps waking the eldest as he still wakes durn the night. But for a 3 bedroom we would be looking at £825 a month (the evicted one we paid £700) and council said we would only be entitled to two so housing benefit wouldn't cover it. So girls would have the lounge with their blown up ready beds. He is now seeking legal advice for w court order because it's getting silly. We get phone calls at 10 at night as the eldest kicks off having her tablet taken of her and she expects us to drive up at sort it out. How long do court orders usually take?? We have got the money together as he's done some extra hours and I've contributed some of my birthday money to the cause.

you said you didn't want the pictures up cos you didn't want to see them every day. That has to be a joke

Oh you liar.

ilovemykids2018 Fri 25-May-18 11:17:06
It's not the landing, next to the landing is a seperate room which is all carpeted it was going
To be used a a mini play room for
The boys but as it's so narrow it wouldn't for a proper bed in there.

and yet you said in a later thread you were putting bunk beds in there for the two girls.

Probably shouldn't have linked it but I'm so sick of the bullshit narrative being peddled that your partner is a poor chap trying his best and you have always tried to make them feel welcome.

@Innocentconglomeration unfortunately this can happen when renting... there was a choice of a few houses in this area and have said that this time round however we couldn't afford £825 a month so it's the only one in our price range. The house was meant to have been long term but he has had to sell both his properties as he is being evicted and wants to by himself one in his town

Haha bunk beds in that cupboard. And the non existent window that conveniently appeared but was invisible in the photos.

@Innocentconglomeration we were going to and can't even remember why we didn't.. but good job we didn't fork out on bunk
Beds really as they wouldn't have fitted in this new house so would have been a waste.

So he moved hours away from his children for a £9 per hour job when it costs a small fortune for him to go back there every other weekend to see them. This doesn’t seem like the most sensible financial move.

I'm back puzzling about your wish OP for a court order which would make arrangements regular and consistent; you link this to being able to celebrate your son's birthday. . Have you realised that birthdays move each year?

But you're only after saying on that thread that the cupboard wouldn't fit a bed. And you're describing it as a cupboard - and cupboards don't have (non-existent) windows.

and tbh looking at the picture and where your son was and the suitcase, the cupboard wouldn't have fitted bunk beds. but according to you there was a door on the room and the beds were in the room for the girls.

Innocentconglomeration we were going to and can't even remember why we didn't..

I'd imagine you didn't buy bunkbeds for this 'room' because the children aren't elves.

National living wage is £7.83 an hour, and he moved 100 miles plus from his kids, to somewhere with no public transport worth a damn, and he doesn't drive, for £9 an hour? When it costs him £70 plus £25 each way taxi if you don't take him so £130 a time to go and see his daughters.

Bullshit decisions made there tbh.

The white blur is the 4 year old in that photo.

Sorry - £120 each time.

Imagine abandoning your kids for 9 quid an hour.

So, before tax, on a 50 hour week, he was making £60 a week more. Which, if he was travelling up to see his girls every other weekend, completely cancelled out his pay increase.

Can the man not count?

Oh the irony of you accusing the ex of leaving her girls with family to go out when it is exactly what you said you did with your boy who would have been much younger so you could go out with your OH! But of course you are way to self absorbed to pick up on it.

Also the irony of feeling sorry for your boy who didn't get to spend the birthday evening for his SD because he had to go and see his daughters because of the ex but not seeing his actual dad because he couldn't be bothered to change his shift, come to see him during a break or take the day off didn't upset him at all. Of course, it suited you that your ex wasn't around on his boy's birthday but it didn't suit you at all to not be able share the excitement of celebrating your precious son birthday with your partner.

You were brought up so to become a self absorbed, entitled and selfish person and you are bringing your kids the same if you continue as you are. That's not what most people consider good parenting.

A good parent doesn't teach children they are more important than their siblings.

A good parent also teaches their children how to live in the world. You are setting your boys up for a lifetime of misery and debt.

My household income is significantly higher than yours, we don't have a quarter of the treats and material shit your family do. My boys sleep on normal beds, not a castle in sight, and anything of significance is a family treat. My two are older and so last year got a Nintendo switch to share, and at ten and seven have learnt to share. While your boys need a ball pool each etc.

You are going to raise spoiled, entitled brats who have no concept of sharing, living within their means or budgets.

How much do you have in savings for emergencies? It's perfectly understandable that not every family can afford to save, living costs are through the roof. But to spend what you pair do on such trivial shit but also not be able to find £1.50 for a school disco is insanity.

Grow up, seriously, learning to be a responsible adult is the best thing you could do for your children right now. FFS, you've probably frittered away a house deposit in the last couple of years.

That other thread is incredibly interesting

I think the op os a troll, no one is this thick

I don't think the issue is that her dp moved away. Lots of people move when relationships break down. The issue is he moved away when he had no way of travelling back to see his children.

I also don't think not wanting your step children to live with you is an issue. I wouldn't want my ss to live with me. But he had a loving and stable home with his mum so it's not somthing that is on the cards anyway.

The issue is that op slaggs of their mum, makes out her and her dp would be parents of the year, but then admits she wouldn't have them live with her. So she would rather them suffer with their apparently neglectful mum.

Interesting from the other thread:

“Spoke on the phone and I suggested that maybe they do cheaper days out/free days out and what we save then we can take them on holiday to Butlins or something. They responded with it's not w holiday going abroad is a holiday. So they will be waiting a while! ”

So the dsc are spoult and princessy for wanting to go abroad instead of holidaying in this country but op has that exact attitude and it’s FINE?

Troll in the dungeon, no one is this dense

Ah and don't forget that anything less than two weeks isn't a holiday either as you don't get to relax properly.
I agree (and hope) this isn't real

God you are a nasty piece of work. I feel sorry for the girls and the boys.