Birthdays and visits

[Lovelife12345]

So my partner has been going up to see his children Every other Friday now since about July, as Saturdays wasn't working with trains etc. We had to miss a Friday the other week as our baby was admitted into hospital overnight but then the following visit we stayed overnight and saw them for two days and bought them a gift from their baby brother to apologise and the ex wife although annoyed at first because he choose a sick baby over seeing the girls but soon apologised and realised he would be worried and not leave his side as it brought back memories of his youngest daughter hospital. But fast forward to his visit next Friday. Next Friday is my eldest son (his stepsons) birthday and I am not dragging him on a 4 hour round trip where he wouldn't see any of my family as they work until 5 otherwise plus he's 4 it wouldn't be fair. Also my son seems him as his dad, choose to call him daddy and their bond is amazing. We both felt if my partner went to visit the girls and he wasn't there for his birthday he would feel massively rejected and wonder what he's done wrong. So we have spoken to the ex wife who has no flew of the handle. My partner has said he would travel up the Saturday instead via train with our baby to see them but she is kicking off and saying it's unreasonable. And because for my birthday today and my sons birthday we are off to see a musical show instead of doing a party for my son she reckoned it shouldn't matter. What would your opinions and suggestions be?

We have just been informed we aren't allowed them down to stay over Christmas. We have been evicted as landlord is selling house and the only property we found was a two bedroom, which is less than ideal because our youngest keeps waking the eldest as he still wakes durn the night. But for a 3 bedroom we would be looking at £825 a month (the evicted one we paid £700) and council said we would only be entitled to two so housing benefit wouldn't cover it. So girls would have the lounge with their blown up ready beds. He is now seeking legal advice for w court order because it's getting silly. We get phone calls at 10 at night as the eldest kicks off having her tablet taken of her and she expects us to drive up at sort it out. How long do court orders usually take?? We have got the money together as he's done some extra hours and I've contributed some of my birthday money to the cause.

Seriously has this been reported? I'll report it, doesn't it speak volumes that the OP never responds to the direct negative criticism. This isn't right and I feel it does a true disservice to genuine step parenting problems

We wouldn't have had enough for all of us to go with that £1200 and wt time of booking no spare to add the girls... plus we needed £100 for passports and nearly £300 for travel insurance which we didn't have;

who were the passports for? Because in August you said you had them sorted. Also, you said you were going to Butlins in October for the weekend with all the kids. It was all booked and paid for in the summer. Did you go?

@Innocentconglomeration passports sorted for the boys as my eldest already had one... my youngest needed his. It's our passports sorted not the girls. They haven't ever had one so we would need to get their birth cerfricates etc first.

We have booked Butlin's for next October 2019. Nothing booked for this year. Me, partner and boys went Butlin's back in May?

TwistedStitch No I can't do it around my sons contact as he goes on a Tuesday to his dads and the girls we have weekends

What about the other suggestions that were made? Why can't you and/or your partner give up your bed a couple of nights a month?

The op genuinely can't see why it's not suitable or reasonable to have two young girls sleep in a living room every other weekend.

On the plus side op, the girls will probably start refusing to visit so you won't have to put up with their bad behaviour.

In august you said you had passports for all 4 kids sorted. I A/s

Also you said this

she has hydrocephalus and she has never flown or gone on rides before he I think just worries about taking her abroad or to France as if it ever shuts down like it has before

But you have said that her hydrocephalus has never caused her any issues, so which is it?

And you did say you were for Butlins this October in August. I Advanced searched.

So you have 6 months to prove you have what it takes to become gm. Does your holiday fall in that period? And do you really think having regular Friday nights and Saturdays off is going to look good?

Is your partner going to do the travelling with the boys on his own when you are working?

Plus he needs to save enough for October as we are planning a weekend away with step kids coming we have just got to finalise the last few details before we tell them where we are going.

This was you

This was also you- I was wrong, it was Alton Towers

October this year we are looking at doing Alton towers with them all as the stepkids are desperate to try out the rides (I can see it now we will get there and they won't like them) but just waiting on the cottage confirmation and childcare for our youngest.

"as he only just had a week off this week whilst the four of us went away"

This was in June. Where was this holiday with you and your two boys to? You know, this one that his girls didn't get invited on?

And yet, having done that this year, and last year, you've booked yet another holiday abroad in term time for just you and him, your son and you and your joint baby.

The pair of you are shocking.

And you've changed the story about the holiday. This thread you've said your mum gave it to you and said it had to be spent on a holiday abroad and she booked it

And yes ok my mum bought our holiday next year but that was with money she gifted me to spend on whatever I wanted.

but in a previous thread you say this. That's totally different to what you've said in this thread. Which is the truth? They can't both be true.

October this year we are looking at doing Alton towers with them all as the stepkids are desperate to try out the rides (I can see it now we will get there and they won't like them) but just waiting on the cottage confirmation and childcare for our youngest.

Always, ALWAYS, a dig about those girls

Oh yes. Always a dig about the girls.

This is what you said as well:

The assistant is leaving end of November, so I am just finalising a few things with my manager. It's a promotion from duty manager to assistant manager. Contract should be sorted by end of week.

that was on 22nd October. It's 28th november and you haven't got the contract yet, what's the hold up?

This in July is an absolute corker of a statement:

we never pay maintenance if we have the girls for a week or two.

so, when you have those girls you don't pay maintenance? Wow. You know that isn't quite how CSA or CMS or whatever they're called now works? You're supposed to pay maintenance every week, reliably? At the level they deem to be the legal minimum?

@Innocentconglomeration we went away in May this year to Butlin's for 5 days... we didn't go Alton towers as the dates we then gave ex wife she had already made plans and we couldn't change dates so none of us went.. last year holiday to Menorca I booked and paid for it before me and my partner were together as it was originally me and my son going who I paid a adult price ticket for. So when my partner and I got together and we knew it was working I added him on, he took the adult price ticket I paid for my son and then my son got a kids free place (as you need two paying adults.) so last year was a bit different. This year was my partners choice we both needed a holiday and a break after a lot that happened so we booked it. amd it wasn't a dig about the girls just meant it would be just our luck we pay for a them park and the don't like it as the youngest isn't always sure with the Fayre. If my boy had never been to a theme park of course I would have worried the same about him.

I start the assistant manager job 2nd December, as this is when the current one leaves and the position I am taking

And if you have read the post before properly I stated we use to not pay her the CM if we had them the week but now she has chosen to go csa we do have to pay her the week we have them. I know a lot of families do that, as gives the dad the money to treat them... and it was always the ex wife's suggestion that she didn't take the CM for the week.

This year was my partners choice we both needed a holiday and a break

Haha.

Your posts are inconsistent. And the way you decide stuff and move and change tax credits too is very very rapid. I don't know of anyone in real life who can get things changed as fast as you can. Tax credits updated, and universal credit and moving house when your landlord only said he was thinking of selling the house in about a year. You have an answer for absolutely everything, and family who seem to lend you thousands of pounds, as well as your £100 a month each for yourselves (Why the fuck they would do this I don't know - why would they give that man a penny piece?) and buy you expensive days out at the drop of a hat and holidays either at home or abroad every other week.

And yes, that was a dig at those girls by you, absolutely it was. Every single thread there is a dig at those girls. More power to their mother's elbow I say, she is doing the right thing.

You are with a cocklodging feckless gambler who can't be trusted, good luck. You'll need it.

Your partner had five months off laying about at home for his mental health. what more of a break did he need?

So now it is dp's decision to go on holiday where a few posts ago it was a gift from your mum and you need him to come along to help with the boys and give you time to go for a massage.

And I am sure the girls would find plenty to enjoy in places like Alton Towers.

@HiHoToffee Butlin's this year was my partners choice!! Not Greece next year, Greece next year is a gift.

Could you answer these points (seeing as you have an answer for everything)

And you've changed the story about the holiday. This thread you've said your mum gave it to you and said it had to be spent on a holiday abroad and she booked it

And yes ok my mum bought our holiday next year but that was with money she gifted me to spend on whatever I wanted.

but in a previous thread you say this. That's totally different to what you've said in this thread. Which is the truth? They can't both be true.

Also,

she has hydrocephalus and she has never flown or gone on rides before he I think just worries about taking her abroad or to France as if it ever shuts down like it has before

But you have said that her hydrocephalus has never caused her any issues, so which is it?

Your mum gave you money to spend on whatever you wanted. You could have booked a break in the UK and taken all the kids. You chose to go abroad and only take your two biological children.

Ah ok, I can't keep up with all these holidays and trips.

Still doesn't make it any better, he chooses a holiday which excludes his daughters.