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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Honestly, this board is not a nice place

374 replies

TheMumsRush · 10/09/2014 18:23

Sick of goady fuckers, trolls and people coming to bash SM from all angles! Some of the "advise" is shocking. If you try it's "step back, not your kids!" But if you don't it's "you're cold and the kids know it". And god forbid you just have a rant that you can't in RL. I see the same posters with the same SM hating shite!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PausingFlatly · 11/09/2014 16:19

I thought Arsenic nailed it above (2nd time round!):

"I think agreeing with people that their reactions are fine when they have clearly been pushed over a line (I've been over that line) is not only unhelpful though, it is unkind."

MrsVamos · 11/09/2014 16:21

Perhaps you need to learn to ignore then ?

Its really not your place to put the world of step-parenting to rights, is it ?

Take a step back, avoid the boards, whatever. It clearly upsets you to see those kinds of posts but you will not make someone who feels irrationally (but justified as far as they are concerned) upset, rational by pointing out to them that they are !

WakeyCakey45 · 11/09/2014 16:23

Brilliant. Getting all the info without having to snoop for it.

I'm stunned that anyone would think that is acceptable.

Discovering the username of someone you know on a forum and then rather than telling them, monitoring their posts so you find out what's going on in their life?

How "accidental" was it that the wrong ipad got taken home to Mum, I wonder?

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:23

No, I don't think I can ignore them, certainly not when they pop up in active, which are the ones I tend to post on.

Fenton · 11/09/2014 16:24

Perhaps it's the way she worded it nickiFury. the outing of a poster's prev nn, the wee humphy face, the demanding of my suggestion, it was hardly polite and welcoming.

And what's with your post? You make it sound like I barged into a private conversation and put in my unwanted twopenneth, are we supposed to join the thread on page one in order to be permitted to post? Are we only allowed to contributed if we have something positive to say?

My things have changed.

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:25

And I am stunned at some of the really awful name calling and bizarre attitudes towards little children that are widely accepted and defended on this board. I guess we all have different ideas of what is acceptable wakey.

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:27

No I did not at all Fenton. That was certainly not my intention, I wonder why that is your immediate thought?

You seemed to think arsenic was being nasty to you, I thought she was just responding to you. Guess some of us are MUCH more sensitive than others.

Fenton · 11/09/2014 16:28

And here we go again,

Great.

MrsVamos · 11/09/2014 16:29

Nicky

Of course you can ignore. You are setting yourself up to get wound up and upset when you choose to click on a thread title you know will upset you.

You will not make/force people to see your way of thinking through the power of words, especially here !

Fenton · 11/09/2014 16:29

So transparent

WakeyCakey45 · 11/09/2014 16:30

And I am stunned at some of the really awful name calling and bizarre attitudes towards little children that are widely accepted and defended on this board

If that's the case, then can I suggest the toddler/preteen/ teens boards? They don't often make "active convos" but I'm sure if you have a quick scan, you'll find loads of posts that will make your fingers itch!

parents no less, venting about their DCs, calling them names, expressing frustration and exasperation, even hatred of them. And worse, there are posters sympathising, telling them how they know exactly how it feels, validating the OPs pov. Dreadful.

Fenton · 11/09/2014 16:32

I love the faux innocent 'what? no I didn't mean that at all, why would you think that?'

I've never been able to pull that off, it must be a gift. Or can you take classes?

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:32

I don't think I am wound up to be honest. I can't quote some of the threads I have posted on, TAAT and all that but some of the names and theories used to justify disliking small children are utterly vile and yes, abusive. I wonder why the answer is that I should ignore it. I wouldn't in RL, why should I on here?

MrsVamos · 11/09/2014 16:33

Wakey

Oh, don't !

Nicky

You don't learn, do you ?

ArsenicFaceCream · 11/09/2014 16:34

Is there a reason you feel the need to be arsey with me Arsenicy ?

Eh?

Fenton · 11/09/2014 16:35

Why are you perpetuating this Nicky?

Aren't you bored of if yet, or do you have a second wind?

Give it a rest.

MrsVamos · 11/09/2014 16:36

Because you cannot change how people feel, Nicky.

I'd love to see you call someone out venting like some do on here. You'd end up on the end of someone's fist.

ArsenicFaceCream · 11/09/2014 16:36

You said a support quiche thread wouldn't work. I asked what you would suggest.....

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:38

Oh my I wish I could quote some threads on here because in seven years on MN, on any other board, I have never seen anything like some of the descriptions of a 4 year olds affectionate behaviour towards her own father or the the aggression towards children be described in the terms that it is on this board.

Fenton before today I did not know of you, I have no interest whatsoever in butting heads with you and I while it is annoying that you keep reading meanings into my posts that are not there, it does not surprise me as THAT is endemic on this particular board.

ArsenicFaceCream · 11/09/2014 16:40

I haven't read all Wakey's posts, no. If i had i probably would have recognised her without prompting,

She just told you herself Fenton (Minnie mouse ears) otherwise I wouldn't have prompted you.

Likewise, if you hadn't been so sure the support quiche thread was v bad idea, I wouldn't have asked you what you suggested instead.....

This is getting so confusing.

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:40

Mrsvamos I have called someone out in RL for name calling of their child. I am afraid it didn't end quite in the way you might have liked for me.

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:42

It's confusing because no one ever gives a straight answer, they just moan about what meanies anyone who questions them is. It makes me wonder if deep down they realise how indefensible but is to say the things they do .

WakeyCakey45 · 11/09/2014 16:43

So is it only those two issues that particularly bother you, nicki?

If I called by DSD a thieving little bitch, or drunken whore, or my DSS a lazy, bone idle idiot" you wouldn't feel compelled to challenge me? Because those are the type of phrases that have been used by parents, grandparent, nannies and even teachers on other boards.

NickiFury · 11/09/2014 16:46

Of course I would challenge that if I saw it why would you think I wouldn't?

I also know that on all other MN boards it would be strenuously challenged too.

MrsVamos · 11/09/2014 16:46

Nicky

I have no beef with you. But you do come across sometimes in a very self-righteous way. You know best, you advise what you think is best etc..

Just my observation, sorry if its rude.

I think we have all called people out for name-calling their child. I meant that if you spoke to a step-parent in RL the way you do here you could find yourself on the end of some unpleasantness.

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