My poor fanny

[bigredboil]

Ok, obviously name changed for this. I have a massive book on my pubic area. It hasn't got a head, it's just a huge angry looking lump.
It hurts. It is so sore. And I'm fat. So getting to it is not easy. But is doable.

Please lovely sporners...help me!

At least @FlangeBoil has given us something to drool over while we await cocklodger Bruce's demise...

I have hidradenitis suppurativa so this is not new to me. Please stop poking it 😭. I think you've been poking at it with a needle 🤯.

It won't be helping. You could end up giving yourself sepsis.

Have you tried magnesium sulphate paste? It should over a few days bring old Brucey out of his shell. If you don't, keen it clean with Savlon antiseptic cream. Forcing it to try and burst really will just make it more painful. When it's ready to go,it will. If you give it a gentle prod and it starts giving out, then it's ready. But trust me, if it's not ready to open up it absolutely won't.

There are some lunatics who put vics vaporub on them but I've never tried that and would never recommend it.

I've had ones the size of a grapefruit. I've been hospitalised. I've had this since for 30 years. Please be careful.

Bruce the cocklodger!! 😂😂

I'm invested too. I remember the boil's name without having to check and come back intermittently for a progress update
Need. A. Life.

Nowt as queer as folk.

<placemarking>

You lot would have loved one of the desserts on tonight’s Great British Menu… 😂

Go on...

a Proper Brucey bonus!

🤣🤣🤣 Brilliant. I'm chuckling so hard that the bed is shaking and the cat's looking at me in alarm.

It was black bao buns filled with yellow custard. One of them popped and the custard all squirted out in a very familiar way!

😁😁😁

@Sunbird24 ,,, 😱 I couldn't eat that 😂

Nor me

Hate cold / set custard

Nor me. Didn't anyone comment?

It's like "Snakes on a plane"...name two horrible things that don't go together.

(Although for me, a better film would gave been "Clowns go Potholing")

It scored 4/10, so that kind of said it really!

😂

Is Bruce still around?

No Bruce updates today?

I have enjoyed this thread.

Weirdly I have had similar recently it went on for weeks. Boil in my lady garden. Tried the needle and tried heat and sudacreme. Gave it one almighty squeeze and had the smallest most disappointing amount of puss from it ever.
Then for weeks I would squeeze it, clear liquid would come out of it. Next day it would fill up again. It was also itchy when full. Started putting any cream on it I could find in the house.

Finally got pissed and after a shower just squeezed and squeezed it till all liquid came out, didn’t fill up. Had a massive bruise. Slowly cleared up but like a month later I can still feel where it was.

Apologies! Bruce and I were working today, we forgot to update. I've decided we are a we officially now. He is never leaving. Freeloading little bastard.
(He's full and quite solid, nothing coming out, smug little shite)

Are you applying heat to the freeloader? Try to bring it to a head?

Time to LTB

Bruce is the type of fella who'd move in, stop you getting your 25% single household council tax reduction and not even chuck a tenner in to the big shop to compensate.

Not surprised Bruce, just bitterly disappointed.

Not a single quaker oat from this fucker.

Years ago my wee nanny became widowed and my grandaddy had always sorted out the insects and bugs for her in the house, anyway a large fucker of a fly entered the house and she such a teeny wee lady, she couldn't ever catch this giant fly. After a week the fucker would be buzzing around her us she'd say, "say hello to Freddie, Lauren! He lives here now, he's the new man of the house".

She was genuinely quite upset when he fucked off of his own accord 😂

What kind of size is it? I imagine it's incredibly painful. They can be absolutely excruciating.

Oh dear OP. This thread was amusing but given you still have the bugger, I feel sorry for you. You must be in agony! I hope it’s not infected.

This! I think you probably need to get it checked out.
People end up with sepsis from things like this.

Exactly. Jokes aside, don’t get poorly OP. We are all hoping for an almighty squeeze and pop moment of course but if that’s not possible a trip to the docs it is 🤣