The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

I woke up this morning after reading this last night in bed I’d had dreams about exploding ulcers, boils and cysts

Pet related disgustingness

I had a ferret whose anal glands would fill up and get painful so we had to take her to the vet for them expressing.
Went several times - Took my own air freshener and besides been smelly it was always okay.
This one time we took her the vet was fairly new and she didn’t look keen to be even touching the ferret let alone squeezing her anal glands.
She picked her up and was trying to feel the glands and then turned the ferrets arse towards her face before I could say ‘you might not want to do that’ she had squeezed the contents which shot into her face landing under her eye, cheek and on her bottom lip.
It stunk so bad and the contents were brown green and slimy she left the room and I held my ferret sprayed the air freshener and stood dry heaving and crying with laughter.
We never went back and I’m sure the vet learnt her lesson.

Again, not me but fil. Family legend. He suffered for years with sinus problems and in his 30s finally went to ent, who saw something up in his sinuses. Pulled out a tiny rolled up playing card. (Think Christmas cracker but smaller) not in a good condition. 🤮 Told his sister who went pale and remembered “playing doctors” years before.

About 10 years ago, an ingrown hair just above my hip produced an infected boil about 2cm in diameter.

I sterilised a needle, sat on the bathroom floor with some tissues and stuck it in ... oozing rivers of green pus, it was amazing. I let it refill the next day and had another go but it wasn't as good the second time as it was mainly blood. It was starting to smell, so the day after that I took it to the GP who took one look at it and prescribed me antibiotics.

I often look at the place where it was in the hope I might get another one.

@VettiyaIruken I found the original thread! Pics should work on there
abscess www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sporner_corner/2608754-underarm-abscess

Years ago I broke my ankle and had my leg in a below knee plaster cast for ten weeks. When they finally took the cast off, there was quite a thick layer of dead skin all around it. They replaced the cast with an elastic bandage. When I got home I couldn't wait to get that bandage off and have a good scratch, and great big bits of skin just peeled off in such a satisfying way leaving lovely clean new skin underneath. Fortunately it was summer time and I could attack it properly in the garden where it didn't make too much mess, and I suspect the worms had a lovely feast off the flakes.

But the best was the abscess in my armpit which grew to the size of a small plum but didn't seem to come to a head despite my best efforts with hot water and magnesium sulphate. The doctor prescribed antibiotics, and a couple of days later I became aware of a small head. When I squeezed it a little rivulet of thin pus came out and kept flowing, and I attacked it again every few hours and the same thing happened. First thing in the morning, I only had to touch it for the stuff to start flowing. Then after I'd been out on a hot day I had a go at it and two thicker blobs of pus flew out. The next morning, when I squeezed a big blob popped out but I couldn't see it, till I realised it had landed on my boob. I carried on with it and every time I squeezed more thick bits popped out really satisfyingly. I thought that was it, but a few hours later another session was almost equally good. It was just the gift that carried on giving for a few days, though I had to push with increasing pressure. I'm really quite nostalgic about it.

I was about to offer my experiences up but after reading ‘it contained teeth and hair’ and seeing the enormous nose worm I realise mine are not in the same league. Bodies are glorious things.

Glorious thread.

When I was a teenager, rather than getting acne I started getting abscess on various parts of me ,mainly on my legs ( a couple on the bum )
One had to be sorted out in hospital and every few days had to go back to have the hole re-swabbed and packed out because they wanted it to heal inside out rather than the other way. Apparently the crater was epic but unfortunately that was the one from my lower back so I didn't get to peer inside it.
The ones on my legs would often pop in the bath and was most satisfying with a green gritty ooze squeezing out. End of puberty, end of fun.

I was the proud owner of a massive scalp cyst that was removed by Doctors twice over 10 years. First removal was post pop where it gave up loads of green pus filled with teeny crystals, DH was in awe! It had been growing again for around 18 months when it got infected in February last year. Antibiotics didn't help and it eventually popped just as we were on our way out to the pub. DH and my teenagers fought over who got to drain it over the next few days. I finally ended up with what looked like a white horn. That turned out to be the thick cyst walls which DH pulled out with tweezers. The ripping sound as it left my scalp is indescribable. It now produces a little blackhead every month or so, but I don't think the cyst will be back.

I was the proud owner of a massive scalp cyst that was removed by Doctors twice over 10 years. First removal was post pop where it gave up loads of green pus filled with teeny crystals, DH was in awe! It had been growing again for around 18 months when it got infected in February last year. Antibiotics didn't help and it eventually popped just as we were on our way out to the pub. DH and my teenagers fought over who got to drain it over the next few days. I finally ended up with what looked like a white horn. That turned out to be the thick cyst walls which DH pulled out with tweezers. The ripping sound as it left my scalp is indescribable. It now produces a little blackhead every month or so, but I don't think the cyst will be back.

I was the proud owner of a massive scalp cyst that was removed by Doctors twice over 10 years. First removal was post pop where it gave up loads of green pus filled with teeny crystals, DH was in awe! It had been growing again for around 18 months when it got infected in February last year. Antibiotics didn't help and it eventually popped just as we were on our way out to the pub. DH and my teenagers fought over who got to drain it over the next few days. I finally ended up with what looked like a white horn. That turned out to be the thick cyst walls which DH pulled out with tweezers. The ripping sound as it left my scalp is indescribable. It now produces a little blackhead every month or so, but I don't think the cyst will be back.

DS1 was 4 and had caught his finger on a gate at a friend's on a Sunday. Going to bed it was sore but I shooshed him and off he went. Middle of the night he woke up moaning in pain, again I administered hugs and sent him back to bed. Next morning his finger was pure white and 3 times the size. GP saw him and sent us straight to A&E. I was surprised, thinking it wasn't an emergency.

A&E said it's v dangerous in case there's a small crack in the bone, the infection can travel up the bone and be fatal! Xrayed and no cracks, thankfully. He was given masses of gas and air and they lanced it- OMG it hit the wall with such force. I've never seen that much pus, ever. Wee guy was laughing his head off, though. They peeled the nail off- glorious- and there was the teeniest slither of rust from the gate.

We had to return to clinic a few times for check up and there I encountered the hottest doctor I've ever seen to this day. Double bonus!

This thread is both fabulous and horrifying!
Most of my issues have been minor compared to this although in desperation I put a sterile needle in a style that was on my lash line and driving me nuts- there was so much pus and despite best efforts to contain it, I instantly got an infection. Was worth it for the relief though.

Best one was a deep blackhead on exes arm that he'd sporadically let me squeeze. One day it seemed to burst inwards instead and swelled alarmingly over the next day or so. GP sent us to minor injuries to get it opened and cleaned. The young doctor made a small cut with a scalpel and a river of thick stinky pus appeared and just kept coming. An involuntary 'ugh!' was followed by an apology for being unprofessional
We had to go back the next day (where there was a repeat performance) and she was on duty again so they asked her if she wanted to continue with him. She admitted to us that she was delighted to have another go and that she'd told her mates in the pub about it the night before.
I had the joy of a couple of nights of getting the remainder out and then he never let me touch it again.

Worst thing about it all was that he wouldn't let me film or take pics of any of it. Yet another reason to divorce him

Was once camping with my my ex and had been constipated for about 5 days beforehand. Sod’s law, desperately needed to go and obviously had to do it outdoors as no toilets in site. I shit you not, I crapped out what can only be described as king kongs finger. Was really annoyed with myself as if I had just lifted my bum up a bit more, it’d of been even longer rather than it squishing at the end. Was proud of punch, called my ex over to show him what I’d just achieved 😂

Another time with same ex. He had a huge spot that needed popping so went to squeeze it. A shit ton of white gunk flew out straight into one of my eyes, bloody disgusting but I did have too laugh about it

Here’s my scalp cyst (before and after).

Gawd @maddiemookins16mum that’s like a boiled egg coming out your head!

@VaVaGloom. do I win?

I can't see the after photo

@maddiemookins16mum you tease, where is the after? During would be ideal tbh.

After....

Woooooow such a beast!

Wow! Did it hurt?

Good God!

It was very uncomfortable but painless. There were 14 stitches of what can only be described as hard plastic, removing them took 20 mins and was awful. The operation itself was one hour under a GA.

Wow, general anaesthetic!!