The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

My daughter had a bartholin cyst that she had to have drained and a catheter inserted. Apparently they don’t usually get as big as hers and we had a room full of people when they drained it. I kid you not the consultant moved a metal waste bin under her to catch the pus. You could hear it pouring out and the poor nurses went green lol

A few months later it refilled and I took her back to the hospital. She went to the loo whilst waiting and I got a phone call from her asking me to go help her. It had burst on its own and was literally squirting pus around the loo floor.

The word catheter was horrific looking bless her, and yes we have pics lol

I had a lymph node removed from underarm in Feb. The serum fluid kept draining into my underarm until I had a satsuma sized lump and went back to hospital. The lovely nurse drained over 100ml of frothy yellow fluid out of my arm pit. I had to be very disciplined not to photograph the jug.

This is just the BEST thread ever. Such a comforting, relaxing satisfying read

Does not happen often on here but I'm actually shocked by some of these.

Bit off piste from all the cysts, but whilst I was having DD via scheduled c-section they also had to remove my infected appendix as an emergency. I didn't see it myself but DH did and he said even the 2 surgeons looked impressed /disgusted by it.

I had a sinus infection and as I was walking to work one day got the urge to blow my nose. What came out was an actual lump of flesh. Like a meaty piece of gristle. Big too, as big a chipolata. Fucking disgusting. Felt better after though

My dh loves to talk about his verucca which lives for ages on the palm of his hand. One day he managed to pulled it out with roots and everything. Left a big hole in his hand and a smile on his face.

My friend went backwards and forwards to her GP and even had an eye clinic appt for a constantly runny nose and watery eye that would be painful then settle again. Over 2 years she had various eye drops and medication. One day at the beginning of a heavy cold she blew her nose hard and a contact lens came out. She had lost one a couple of years earlier but thought she'd dropped it.

@rosegoldivy

Hope the pic of the nose worm works

Bloody hell!!

It looks like a massive bloodworm !!

I am the proud owner of a 15 year old son. His nose is a work of art! Occasionally when he is speaking to me, my eyes catch upon the the blackheads growing there merrily, calling to me, and I am transfixed.
When he sees the gleam in my eye he’ll take off his glasses and let me at them, but just for a little while.

It is like squeezing a thick layer of cream cheese between two nose shaped crackers, numerous ivory coloured worms wiggling free towards the sun. Bliss.
On Mother’s Day the younger ones brought me breakfast in bed, my husband bought my flowers. DS climbed onto the bed next to me, put his head in my lap, took off his glasses, and gave me unlimited access to his teenage skin. I wept tears of joy! It was the best Mother’s Day ever!

@HermioneWeasley that sounds like a decidual cast to me.

Amazingly horrible marvellousness on here. I am so squeamish but can’t stop reading.

My DH had a massive swelling elbow this summer. It looked so odd. We were visiting at a new friends glamour plus Italian garden, lunching with all these artists and trying to make a good impression on our nee would be friends. When one do them pointed out that DH’a weird elbow had erupted and was pissing blood and pus across the fine dining tablecloth and dangerously near the salad. It had real projectile force. I was mortified.

Place marking. Will read tomorrow.

A lump the size of a satsuma on my scalp. Had to have it removed under GA eventually. We called it Helen.
I do have a photo..........

Quinsy - peri tonsular access. Having trouble breathing.
A and e cubicle.
Dr called free medical staff in to watch procedure as it was unusually awful.
Local anaesthetic and then scalpel lanced it.
What followed was a scene from a low budget horror film. Low budget because so unbelievable.
Look away now.
Contents of abscess reduced long thick semi solid strings of gunk hanging from my mouth which had to be kind of pulled out to enable me to breathe. I remember my head hanging down mouth open river of gunk loads of shocked faces looking on.
Absolute hellish experience.
At least I could breathe.
Cue long hospital stay and later emergency tonsillectomy when things had settled a bit.
Sorry everyone.
Feel bit sick now.

Not the usual sporn but I'm going to give you camera envy.

I have psoriasis, mostly on my scalp but sometimes it is in my ear canal which is removed with a finger nail.

So I bought a camera, a tiny camera with a light at the end and a metal bit so I can see what is happening in my ears.

Sorry for the lack of sporn, just scaly skin.

@IHateCoronavirus your son sounds amazing. I'm looking forward to my boys teenage years for this reason only, but I don't think they'll let me.

@PanamaPattie I read ozzy Osbournes autobiography and I can't remember the full story but he'd has glass smashed in his face and I think got the worst out, then went on a flight and the pressure caused all the tiny pieces to come to the surface.

I once had a blood blister on my labia, no idea how it got there so went to gp as it was really sore. She had a look and I felt a really sharp pain and she said "sorry, I've just burst it" she was not sorry, she was smiling

Hmm I do have this style type thing in the corner of my eye which has been there for a couple of years, funnily enough I woke up this morning and it’s irritating me. Wonder if I can poke it with a needle (cotton buds are too soft, I’ve tried). Initially it did weep a bit but now it’s hardened up. Awkward as I have to do a funny angle to even see it so fiddling will be tricky.

@RaspberryCoulis

Oh. And I can also post a picture of my fibroid should anyone wish to see it. My lovely gynae took a pic for me after my hysterectomy. It was mahoosive.

I was allowed to take a photo of my spinal fluid after a lumbar puncture. It wasn't gorey at all, though, just a clear liquid but - kind doctors. They must be right sporners.

Ooh another gross one, after my second csection, I was in the recovery room, dh smiling away at new baby and im just starting to get a bit of feeling back. I said "I can feel something wet between my legs" . Dh pulled my sheet back and said 'oh, don't worry, it's just the placenta coming out ' still smiling away. Erm they took my placenta already... 'oh shit' huge blood clot and haemorrhage.I

After third section one of the stitches hadn't fully closed the wound so there was a little hole. My cousin is a complete sporner and I believe a district nurse for this reason. Gave her a ring, she came with a pen light, then got some tweezers and pulled out the longest pube from inside the hole. We were both so happy

More like 2 inches here but apparently “almost as good as a sebaceous cyst” according to the nurse who drained it...

Spot inside my nostril. So painful so decided to reach inside my nose to pop it. Popped it and a huge nostril hair came out of the OTHER side of my nose (the outside!)

I had 11 litres of fluid (ascites) drained from my abdomen several times over a 4 month period. The relief was amazing.

I would walk into the hospital like I was ready to give birth to triplets and be 24lb lighter coming out.

@rabbitwoman when I asked for a photo of the fibroid the doctor pulled faces like . She also said that it was usually totally against the rules to take photos in surgery when obviously the patient can't consent. But given that i'd asked in advance, and it was being done on BUPA rather than NHS, they were a bit more accommodating. It had given me so much trouble, it was making my periods a monthly bloodbath and affecting my continence too as it was pressing on my bladder. So pleased to be rid of the thing.

I had imagined it to be knobbly and stringy, very surprised it was so smooth and round.

Nice of her to include my fallopian tubes and cervix on the photo. How many people can say they've seen their own tubes?

DH has a cyst on his back and he lets me pop it about once a month when it gets a head. I can get loads out of it as I bought a pimple popping set.

I did it the other day and I was saying "it's not going to go!" With a sudden pop noise a trail of white shot out, into my hair on both sides of my face. Luckily I had my mouth closed!

Afterwards DH wiped white gunk off my cheek too

My sister used to get the biggest styes on her eye when we were kids. Doctor dad (disclaimer- not a doctor at all) would get her to lie on the sofa and he would do something with cotton buds and needles to get "The Root" out. The Root was the holy grail. Rivers of pus and blood. We would all sit around transfixed while my poor sister writhed around in complete agony in the middle of the circle.

@StellaAndCrow

PanamaPattie do you think the glass worked its way down inside your body from your face? That would be awesome!

Yes - I think it did. The hole that the glass left regularly fills with squeezable greenish goo. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.