The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

DH had a big, deep blackhead on his shoulder that would squeeze out a lovely half inch thick worm periodically. But when I said I was going to film it next time - it disappeared! Healed after 15 years by the power of camera shyness!

On holiday as teens, my sister's boyfriend (burly rugby player) had a large white lump on the back crease of his ear. It took forever to convince him to let us squeeze it, but when he finally relented a deliciously large, white ball of cheesy pus came out.
He was as fascinated with it as we were, and sat staring at it with the lump perched on his finger. Was a baby sporner created that day...?
Almost.
He then decided to smell it - a little too enthusiastically - and the entire ball of cheesy pus got sucked straight up his nose! He completely freaked out, and the ball was never seen again.

You know what? It’s my fault for being able to read 🤢

Pleased to see this thread pop up again

Teen DS recently allowed me to help him with a blackhead on his nose, it only needed a very little encouragement and it was a beauty, like a tiny boulder as wide as it was deep and the colours!

Also quite recently, I had a cyst excised from my scalp. I see from the consultation notes that it was 7mm x 7mm and it had a keratin plug too (I’m guessing like a blackhead type thing). The lovely nurse was surprised at how big it was 😊 and let me take a photo:

I took my belly button piercing out when I was pregnant. Found the belly ring a couple of years later and tried to put it back in. The most amazing, disgusting smelling, hard black headed looking thing was pushed out of the top hole as a result. Try as I might, I haven't been able to reproduce it since

Namechanged for this one because there's no way I am admitting to this IRL.

Ended up in hospital with an infection, few days abx, planned surgery and then home. Given that oramorph featured heavily its no wonder I got very, very constipated. So went to the pharmacy and got some stuff. The pharmacist said to take one tablet at night, 2 if the first dose hadn't been successful. So I took 3 because at that point I looked a good 6 months pregnant.

Big mistake. My username says it all really. And then it didnt stop. I swear that by the end of the day I had the shape of the toilet seat permanently etched into my behind. Perhaps I should have listened in the first place after all.

I’ve just reread this glorious thread

DD who’s 11 has inherited the sporner gene. We have a routine now where her eyes glaze over rather manically as she grabs the tweezers/blackhead squeezer and then lunges at me like some sort of long limbed tween jujitsu beast.

She’ll shine a torch onto my face and hunt for any whiskers with feral glee and will attack my ears in hope of finding blackheads. It truly is a mother-daughter bonding experience 😂

DS (17, decidedly NOT a Sporner. He would like me to tell you that he thinks we are all deeply depraved) just told me this evening, off-handedly like, that this afternoon he 'had a go' at a little scab on his arm which he said had been a sort of spot with a 'horn' like a sliver of toenail poking out minutely. He said he scratched the scab off and then got his modelling tweezers and pulled this tiny sliver of something out. He said it looked like a bit of nail and then there was a bit of pus. He then, even more off-handedly, told me he'd noticed this little poky horn thing on his arm 'for a few weeks'.

I shrieked said calmly 'and you didn't think to wait for me and show me?' and the little bugger CACKLED and smirked and said, 'oh no. Sorry.'

this is a teenager who will fend me off with an extended arm if I get interested in his bounteous blackheads and just shouts NO SOD OFF if I even look at them. He's dead to me now.

I’ve got a teen just like that Glom. Poor us.

I ( certified life-long sporner) got sporned yesterday!

Occasionally, I get an ingrowing hair in my armpit, and it is a menace. I showed it to DP yesterday, and armed with tweezers and me hanging out of the bathroom window - the light was good, sun out, he poked, prodded and squeezed til it got the bugger out! Tears of joy and pain ran down my face!
It left a nice little clean hole too!
He's a keeper 💘

@CockneyCutieI assume you are planning your proposal this evening?!

Ah, I would - but DP works away all week. However, I have told him of the joy I feel in getting rid of that damn hair!
He also trims my hair length inbetween salon appointments ✂️
If only he were rich as well…😏

Oh thank you for bumping this glorious thread. @IncognitoBanditoyiur story made me ponder if indeed a sporner was born that day

My daughter in primary school sat on a wooden bench and got wood splits in her bum cheek. When she got home I managed to get it out but for weeks/months she still complained it was sore when she sat down. But everytime I looked there was nothing there no redness nothing. Then one night she was in the bath and she said it was really hurting so I looked and there was a massive piece of wood coming out of her skin. I felt so bad. I took pictures of it coming out and luckily she was still in the bath so the warm water helped push it out. But omg it was so satisfying seeing it come out and it must of been such a relief.

another time I had a really bad cold, sinus infection, chest infection the lot and I felt my nose blocking up and just pure pressure and crackling noises. I blew my nose and the sensation of relief was indescribable. It was massive the ball of whatever it was! I sometimes think about it to help me drift off to sleep at night

Two appendix related stories.

I had my appendix out when I was 10. This was in the 1960s before dissolvable stitches. Twenty-five years later when I was pregnant with my first child, a few sharp black spikes like thorns appeared around the scar. They gradually got longer and I was able to pull them out with tweezers to find the remains of ancient stitches. After that a few would appear every few years. I'm in my 70s now and still miss them.

My DD had her appendix out when she was 8. She begged the doctors to save the appendix for her to keep but they refused. While she was at home recuperating afterwards she discovered a rogue yellowy gherkin in a jar of gherkins. She put it in a jar with some vinegar and when her younger brother came home from school she showed it to him and said it was her appendix. He loved it and was very disappointed to be told it was just a gherkin.

However unbeknown to me she took it into school with her a few days later when she went back and tried the same trick there. Her school friends were all fascinated but the teacher sat down abruptly on the floor and put her head between her legs and someone had to run for help. The teacher and head mistress were distinctly unimpressed and I was roundly told off when I picked DD up from school. So, although I'm happily reading this thread while eating my lunch, it's important to remember that not everyone is the same - some folk are just weird.

A decidual cast. Would not recommend having one.

WTF? Where did that come from?

A decidual cast is where the entire lining of the uterus is shed at once, rather than in tiny pieces, as happens in the majority of menstrual periods.

They are, because of the need for a sizeable piece of tissue to pass, very painful to pass - the pain is more like labour contractions than a period cramp.

Despite the lack of information about them in standard health education for girls and women (and the lack of interest in them from the medical profession generally), they are actually very common for a woman to experience at least once in their life, but due to the lack of information about them, will often think there is something horribly wrong or they've had a miscarriage; there are regular postings on MN with titles such as 'Wtf has just come out of me?' and so far, every single one of those posts that I have seen has been a decidual cast.

My appreciation to @skintasabint for posting that photo with the finger for scale. I’m not grossed out at all. My first thought was amazement that the womb is so tiny (from the decidual cast) and yet expands to accommodate a full term pregnancy, even twins or multiples. The female body is truly a wonder.

@skintasabint, I’ve had a decidual cast, but not as impressive as yours!

agree. 0/10 would not recommend.

Urgh. From the age of 14-17 my body preferred to shed the majority of the lining in one go with the result that I would pass big, livery pieces and suffer the accompanying cramps. Didn't stop the bleeding being incredibly heavy as well which feels particularly unfair.

I went on the pill when I was 18 and didn't come off it until I was 30 - was magic for me. Never had them again even though I didn't go back on hormonal contraception.

Nowhere near as spectacular as some of these, but mine.

About 10 years ago I was in town shopping with my daughters, and I tried to brush what I thought was a crumb away from my bottom lip. It was sharp like a crumb from a crusty roll, but it would not move.
I asked my daughter to have a look, but she said she couldn't see anything.
Later that day while sitting in my car at the station waiting to pick up a friend, I had a good look at it in the mirror. Sure enough, nothing to see.
I gave it a squeeze anyway, and this hard string of pus came out. I squeezed more until it was honestly over an inch long!
In my fingers it felt like hard plastic.
My friend arrived at that moment ( who is an equal sporner to me) and I showed him.
He was so excited. He took a look, and with eyes glistening he said, there is LOADS more in there. Then proceeds to squeeze around a fifth of a teaspoon of this hard gunk out of it.
Sadly it never returned, but it is a fond memory I go back to often.

Then proceeds to squeeze around a fifth of a teaspoon of this hard gunk out of it.

Please allow me to salute your precision teaspoon fractioning skills, and also your presence of mind for estimating it at the time! 😅

Is that the entire womb lining in one go?

Crikey! I thought I was wandering around with a womb something the size of maybe an orange, grapefruit?

I used to pass liver-like lumps, the older I got. Thankfully the coil sorted that out!