I'm undecided what would be the most spectacular.
There was the very first chin hair. Massive, painful lump about the size of a 10p piece on my chin. After about 3 months, I'd had enough and heated up a needle to try and find a way for the nastiness to come out - it seemed like the top 2mm of it was weeping plasma, and then I felt the needle point catch 'something'. A bit of (painful) fishing around and out came a four inch long, jet black, 1mm thick and totally flat hair that I could feel uncurling from somewhere just underneath a tooth, going by the sensation.
The abscess on my inner thigh that extended through the crease and eventually made it as far as the side of my fanjo. GP said 'nothing we can do, it'll go down in its own time'. The then boyfriend took it upon himself to assist and lanced that fucker/speared it with a tapestry needle, as it felt like I was sitting on a spike. The pain and the relief all at once was amazing - and there wasn't a single trace of where it had been afterwards, as it apparently erupted yellow, green and red and then snapped shut up like a wormhole collapsing.
Or the lifelong sinus problems, still undiagnosed after years of agonising headaches 'You're just stressed'. Thought I'd try this thing I'd read about in a book in the place where I did yoga. Used a plastic teapot from the children's play set, filled it with warm, salty water and poured loads up there with no effect. The following day, I was right in the middle of being bollocked by my boss as I felt a nosebleed starting. I ran to the toilet to find half the water had still been trapped up there and a full handful of snot, scab and crusts came out of my right nostril. It felt like somebody had just smashed my face with an axe and cold air was getting in there for the first time in my life as I could have sworn that my eyeball dropped half an inch in the process. Bit embarrassing coming out beaming when the boss was still pissed off and I had no proof of the 'nosebleed'.
One sore bit on my heel I'd had since I was about 8 revealed what looked like a cat claw upon digging at it aged 22.
The Wimbledon Bank Holiday Sunburn where a failure on the part of the olive skinned and olive oil sunbathing ex as he believed you couldn't get sunburn ever again if you got it once, so lied about packing the new bottle to prepare meant I had to use the last of the sunblock on the redhaired child whilst we waited 4 and a half hours for the AA to turn up as 'they were busy'.
About a fortnight later when the pain from the blisters had stopped, the top of my ear itched. I rubbed it and dry skin in the shape of both the inside and back of my ear popped off in one crispy piece. Unfortunately, I was at work and had to dispose of it quickly before anybody noticed.
Then there's the POTS/EDS bowel dysfunction where, for no apparent reason, my gut had completely stopped working for about 2 weeks. Again, 'nothing we can do'. I caught a stomach bug (or I'd filled every last scrap of space). Two days of puking but looked 9 months pregnant with the usual bloating - and still hadn't gone to the bathroom 5 days later. DP gently almost, but not quite tickled his fingers along my bulging side following the line of the ascending colon as I lay in bed. 24 minutes later, I felt something 'drop' against my pubic bone and coccyx. I swear what came out in the bathroom was three foot long and not much lighter than my second child (whose labour had become a major thing because progress was halted by an equally uncooperative digestive system blocking her way out 'we don't do enemas, everything moves out of the way when you push'. No it fucking didn't.).
Not related to me, it's a toss up between the cat with the tiny spot of spiky fur on his head which turned into an outpouring of death 4 times a day as I gently picked off the fur and massaged out the abscess contents from all the way down his neck out and flushed it with saline - and the adorable best cat who developed a cyst on her head that constantly refilled to the size of a hen's egg each month.
Rather than put her through the distress of a vet visit every time as she was too old to risk anaesthesia on, I would pierce it with a sterile needle each time it became translucent. If I left it a day too late and was too slow with the kitchen towel, she'd spray a fountain of amber liquid out of her head for ten minutes. She still sat on my lap purring whilst I made sure as much as possible was out, though. Actually, the pair of them never protested when I did something to them. Which had been fun on a previous occasion about a year after she'd had a partial thyroidectomy - I'd been fussing her and she was purring deeply and pressing her throat into my hand. I suddenly felt a tiny thread - and slowly pulled out a four inch long, bright blue stitch, at which point, the purring volume went to explosive volume.
Nothing excitingly gross has happened to me or my pets in years.