The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

@Toomuchtrifle you've EXACTLY described the feeling!!!

I’m asthmatic and about once a week I cough up a hard sticky phlegm lump. It’s like glue it’s so sticky.
Before dd1 was born, I had the most awful constipation and piles. I was given movicol after dd was born. I went for the first time in weeks, I ended up blocking the toilet
I’m sure I have some more...

One summer I got a bite on my leg and it developed a bubble over the top. Ended up being about 3 inches across and wobbly filled with clear yellow liquid.

I ended up in the walk in centre and they decided to drain it as it was in an awkward place. The nurses were fighting over who got to drain it. Sporners the lot of them... apparently it was very satisfying.

Do you weirdos want pictures?

@FluffyMcWuffy

Mine is post c-section. It must have been day two or so that I waddled to the toilet to do a wee or something when I felt something large, warm and wet come out of my fanjo. I sat on the toilet to do my business when all of a sudden i heard a thud then a splash in the toilet bowl. I got up and there to my horror was the biggest blood clot I had ever seen. It looked like a bloody kidney, I was freaking out that post surgery I had excreted an organ. Called the midwife who fished it out of the toilet bowl and confirmed all was well. Still feel faint thinking about it and that was almost 3 years ago!

Oh god yeah, had this about ten days after having DD. It was just this incredible sense of pressure when I stood up, and felt something shift. I stood there feeling incredibly panicked for about 30 seconds, and then felt like I'd given birth again. I very carefully walked down the corridor to the toilet and this THING was sitting in my paper knickers. It was huge, but I was back at work, so couldn't save it to show the midwife. I honestly think you could have started a fibroblast from it.

@Neverenoughforme8

This thread is evoking all sorts of emotions! The one for me was a Bartholins cyst, my... God... If you have had one you definitely bloody know about it. Cannot explain the instant relief when it popped.. What came out of it was almost alien like 🤮

Yep been there but mine was drained my a doctor, the pleasure he took from was so funny, he was giving my a running commentary on how many syringes he filled with a look of gleeful awe on his face 🤮 I couldn’t look at it though.

When I was younger I managed to pick out the yellow bit from a mosquito bite completely intact, root and all, once it had gone hard.

My sister had a sebaceous cyst on the nape of her neck and I was the lucky one to get rid of it. In IKEA

I had my bcg injection done when I was in high school. About 10 years later, I was fiddling with spots and noticed my scar looked a bit bulbous. I poked it around and nothing happened the next day I squeezed it and a fantastic pool of brown pus oozed out of it!

@ADragonCalledKeith

When I was a teen I had a spot right between my eyes. Beautiful. I used greenstick to cover it, then some skin colour to finish. It was almost invisible... 😂 Anyway, decided to give it a pop at lunch and out squeezed a wiggly worm of skin colour concealer, then green worm, followed by lovely slightly mushy gunk worm. Never bettered.

However, my DH gets amazing earwax and let's me clean his ears for him. SO satisfying!!

Omg I love cleaning other peoples ear wax, thankfully all my kids love having it done too 😂 I also love doing blackheads. I once did an ex’s back and one blackhead right at the base of his neck must have had a tail about 2cm long, it was awesome hahaha

@rosegoldivy

Hope the pic of the nose worm works

That's beautiful

I had an infected wound from surgery, in my bellybutton.
They had put a pad and dressing on it but I was lying in bed and looking at it and I felt it kind of “pop” and then there was absolutely stinking pus running down my stomach both sides, on to the sheets. It literally smelled like something had died.

I felt quite unwell too, so I ended up at A&E in the waiting room to be checked over.

I’m a children’s social worker and as I sat there, hunched over, in pain and feeling light headed, stinking like the absolute pits of doom, I spotted a parent I’d worked with on the other side of the waiting room. She cheerily waved and came over to sit next to me and have a chat. I had to apologise for the horrific stench. Not my finest moment. But the goo that emanated from me was fabulous even if it was evil.

I once had either three zits close together or one zit with three heads, not sure, but when I say heads, they never actually came to a head. I could just tell where the heads would be. I squeezed and tried lancing loads of times, nothing. One day was on the loo, idly scratched without even really realising where I was scratching then looked down and must have caught it in just the right place as all this thick pus was coming out all on its own. Never had that before or since, for the first minute or two I didn’t have to touch it, just came out on its own. Once it slowed down i squeezed the last out and that was that.

I also have a not quite closed belly piercing that often yields semi solid gunk, every now and again I’ll be caught by surprise by pus hurtling off and sometimes it’ll get a mild infection which again, yields good pus.

This thread has really lifted my spirits, thank you all

I had one of those cysts on my bikini line - it got big fast and I couldn’t sleep for the pain. I’m a sporner through and through comes from being an acne kid I reckon but I couldn’t even brush my hand against it because of the pain. I had a shower and as I was getting out I heard a CRACK and had an overwhelming feeling of relief - a hunk of green pus had flown out and as I squeezed it, it just poured and poured. I still remember you, cyst of ‘09. You were glorious.

I had a severe case of chicken pox when I was a teenager. Was left very run down afterwards, hair got very thin, had to take iron, etc. But the amazing thing was I painlessly shed skin all over my body, not in little bits like after sunburn, but big sheets. I remember peeling an intact layer off my back the size of a saucer and the lovely ripping noise it made. And best of all ... I used it as a bookmark!!!

I use to have my belly button pierced, after I stopped putting the bar through it and it started to heal over I could squeeze it like a zit for years. The first time was like this giant oblong firm zit that I worked out in one fluid movement. Sadly as the years went by it completely healed over so no longer dose it.

God I love this thread!

@Mercedes519

One summer I got a bite on my leg and it developed a bubble over the top. Ended up being about 3 inches across and wobbly filled with clear yellow liquid.

I ended up in the walk in centre and they decided to drain it as it was in an awkward place. The nurses were fighting over who got to drain it. Sporners the lot of them... apparently it was very satisfying.

Do you weirdos want pictures?

You need to ask?

This is such an amazing thread. I feel ashamed I have nothing to add

@fizbosshoes

I had quite a large mole removed from my back and that was quite grossly satisfying to see the "root" on it. I always have to squeeze any sort of spot, or blackhead, and its almost disappointing when I use the x3 mirror and I haven't got any!

teen DD has had some epic spots but she very rarely lets me "assist" with them but its usually very satisfying if she does!

I’m exactly the same on blackheads. Some with the mole but mine was a birthmark, it was like a funny looking shrivelled mushroom with a really long root.

My mum developed a fat lump on her back. It got infected and she got put on antibiotics, but she was supposed to keep draining it. She couldn't reach it. My stepdad dealt with it most days but whenever I saw her she'd get me to give it a good squeeze. What came out was a thick, viscous, yellow paste. Absolutely delicious. I think of that fat lump fondly to this day.

I got chickenpox in my 20's. Was seriously ill but didn't have too many spots. The spots I didn't have were huge and really deep. Did my best to not touch or knock ones where they would leave visible marks/scars.

However, the ones on my thighs/upper legs and torso were fair game and oh my god. They were incredible to pick out. Huge kind of globular masses under my skin that popped out, leaving deep holes. Fascinating!

SussexCharm I felt the same when I read yours - four years must be the body's processing time for finally ejecting sharp beach objects! Isn't it just amazing when it happens :)

[quote QueenPaw]@devuskums here you go
First pic shows how far the redness had gone, second pic post op (under GA), third pic after plastics had fixed it [/quote]
I can't see the pics.

I get pilar cysts on my head. They are little lumps filled with which gunk made of keratin. Mostly they don't bother me but in the past I have had to have two lanced and removed under local anaesthetic because they hurt and catch in things.

Anyway. I had a fairly large one about 6 months ago. Caught it when brushing my hair one morning, thought nothing of it. Then about five days later noticed a scab had formed on the cyst - and you have to pick it, don't you? The stuff inside the cyst started coming out, it was quite firm and hard, not like pus at all. I had such a lovely 10 minutes squeezing it all out and have saved the NHS £££ with my DIY job.

Wish I'd taken photos, it was quite something.

Oh. And I can also post a picture of my fibroid should anyone wish to see it. My lovely gynae took a pic for me after my hysterectomy. It was mahoosive.

@angelcakebananabrain

I once had either three zits close together or one zit with three heads, not sure, but when I say heads, they never actually came to a head. I could just tell where the heads would be. I squeezed and tried lancing loads of times, nothing. One day was on the loo, idly scratched without even really realising where I was scratching then looked down and must have caught it in just the right place as all this thick pus was coming out all on its own. Never had that before or since, for the first minute or two I didn’t have to touch it, just came out on its own. Once it slowed down i squeezed the last out and that was that.

I also have a not quite closed belly piercing that often yields semi solid gunk, every now and again I’ll be caught by surprise by pus hurtling off and sometimes it’ll get a mild infection which again, yields good pus.

I forgot to say where the zits were! Prob can tell from the story but was on my fanjo mound, used to get loads as a teen cos every now and again I’d shave all my pubes off (even tho no one ever saw it) and didn’t know anything about technique or aftercare so always got loads of spots and ingrown hairs (so just as well no one ever saw it)

PanamaPattie do you think the glass worked its way down inside your body from your face? That would be awesome!