The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

Not something my body produced but equally yuck at the time.
When I was a teenager my thigh felt a bit sore so I rubbed and tried to scratch what I thought was a blackhead, it moved backwards and forwards and I realised that it was a tic with its head embedded in my leg.
Living in the New Forest I have dealt with many tics since on my dogs and cats but that first one was the most impressive!

[quote devuskums]@QueenPaw...pictures you say?!![/quote]
Yes, this.

@NotmyfirstRodeomyfriend pics posted up thread

I had wart on my finger. I fiddled about with it and I managed to pull it out whole. It left a crater.... lovely.

DH is a lorry driver and gets filthy. He has fab blackheads - some are returners. And some pores of weiner.... and cysts that NEED popping with a needle every so often. he is human bubble wrap...

Ooh so I have earwax issues and I'd been to get my ears syringed and been told one was too stubborn so I had to go back the following week. I was putting the olive oil in and in a work meeting a big chunk just dropped out onto the desk. It was beautiful and career ending at the same time.

[quote QueenPaw]@NotmyfirstRodeomyfriend pics posted up thread [/quote]
Just seen, thank you for sharing wipes away tear

I had a large growth dangling from my labia. Like. A mini testicle 🙄
I tied it with floss. It was agonising the pain made me cry. It went purple. Stunk. After 3 weeks dropped off into the sanitary towel. No scar. Never returned.

@WeatherwaxLives that thing on your back was a calcified epidermoid cyst, i know because DS3 had one on his back and popping out was my finest sporny moment.

@QueenPaw I can’t see your pics either.

I love all this stuff and am so jealous. My main best one was when one of my scalp cysts burst. It was angry for a long time and I had pussy hair for a while, antibiotics helped and when it had calmed down a bit I gave it a big squeeze and a solid sphere popped out, I had to tear a bit of my skin too which is gross. But other than that, soooo satisfying and one of the best moments of my life. I have many more cysts and one gives me a headache but no more satisfying action for a few years. NHS won’t remove them just give anti-bs!

I had a small cyst on my shoulder which DH squeezed for me recently, that kept giving for a few days then went completely. I have another one that has popped up too but I can’t reach it, and have a big cyst on my back which I have had since I was a small child so doubt that will ever erupt! I wish!

Not me but my sister had a lump in her bikini area. She keep squeezing it periodically over a few months and nothing came of it. One day she decides to slice it open and found a six inch hair and lots of disgusting cottage cheese type pus. She sent me a pic of the contents haha

Feeding problems with my second child, developed mastitis, was advised to feed through it and that Thai would help clear ducts, anyway this turned into an access the size of a tennis ball. I was put on the waiting list for surgery, one day close to my consultants appointment I was in the kitchen drinking coffee, looked at my boob and saw a small black dot, which got bigger and bigger, it was a hole emerging in my skin, all of a sudden it went from a tiny hole to about 3cm wide and hot puss started to spurt out. I had all the colours first a creamy white like Baileys, then watery green with red tinges then bloody green puss. Tipped my coffee into the sink and tried to catch the puss in my mug as it was going everywhere (I realise now that a tea towel might have been better) Avoided surgery but had to have the abscess drained weekly for a long time and have a couple of biopsies as had a lump in breast that didn’t look right. Can’t put into word how painful a biopsy needle going into an open wound is.

Some of these are just wondrous! My most memorable expulsion was when a spider bit my knee. I was sitting in the bath and the area around my knee was slightly raised and warm, like an allergic reaction and I was looking at it, felt a small raised spo, scratched it off and started pushing at it. Out came a ridiculous amount of green gunk. I moved the gunk from around my knee and down my leg to push it out. Never seen anything like it. Once it was all out, it went away completely.

I once grew a spot in that tight fold of skin in the ear above the ear canal. I had no idea it was there until I absentmindedly touched it with a finger and it cracked audibly and splurged gunk onto my finger. Thing was I was in a bookshop at the time with no easy access to tissue. I had to hot foot it to the nearest loos and spent a fascinating 10 minutes excavating it with a fingernail - there was soo much goo and blood. I can't believe it had got so big without me realising, it must have looked gross - unfortunately I couldn't see it because of the position in the ear fold. It did grow a satisfyingly crusty scab, which I enjoyed picking off several times (rather unnecessarily).

My other one was following surgery where the scar was on my bikini line. They used one of those long sutures with a bead at each end. When they came to remove it they snipped one bead off and allegedly pulling on the other would remove the whole thing - but it didn't, somehow it was adhered inside the scar. The doctor pulled really hard while someone held each side of the scar taut. I was screaming! Eventually the suture snapped leaving at least 3 inches inside! I was discharged and told it would make its way out eventually. I was not letting nature takes its own course though because i could feel the cut end sharp under the skin. It took about a week of worrying it before it emerged and I could grab the end with tweezers - gentle pulling and the bright blue plastic cord wiggled out of the skin - I still remember the sensation fondly (and I still have the suture in a box somewhere).

A perimenopausal period from hell.

I was aware I was bleeding heavily, so rushed to a public toilet in an old fashioned department store. The toilet cubicle was unusually long and I hung my bag on the back of the door.

After doing a wee and filling the toilet with blood, I stood up to retrieve a fresh maxi sanitary towel from my handbag.

Suddenly a huge clot dropped from me and splatted into the floor. It was thick and the size of a couple of fried eggs.

I stared at it in horror for a moment, shocked that anything so large could have been expelled from my body.

Then I had to use nearly a whole roll of toilet paper and some wet wipes in operation clean up.

My DP just recently had a boil on his bollocks! He wouldn't let me pop it with a needle - the git. I was very disappointed when it burst without me being there to witness it. Damn I sound rather weird!

This thread is just glorious!

My only addition (sadly) is a spot my DF allowed me to attack in the middle of his back. It took about a week to get it all, I had to scab the skin first but when I picked the scab off a massive cone shaped whitehead slid out whole. It was about 1cm long and probably 1cm across the wider end. A couple days later he said it was hurting so I gave it a squeeze and a lovely river of pus flowed. Sadly, it never came back

Love this thread.
.a few months ago I woke up during the night and my nose felt funny and went, automatically stuck my finger up my nostril and could feel something half way up my nose, managed to fish hook it, thinking it was a bogey, but then when I went to pull it out it gave a bit of resistance. Slowly began easing it out and it honestly felt like i could feel it sliding down from my brain. I had it half way out my nostril and then pinched it with a finger and thumb to get the rest out. Turned the light on and it was a long jelly like texture bright red worm type thing an inch or two in length ?! I have never been so disgusted but also impressed. Even woke DH up so he could marvel at it. Also have pictures I will look out

Not quite the same but I went to a&e wirh suspected appendicitis. Turned out it was a 28cm ovarian dermoid cyst. It contained teeth and hair... I had a lot of medical staff interested in me that week as none had seen one that size before!

Hope the pic of the nose worm works

My mum has a smallish cyst in her armpit, she's a love and lets me treat it to a good old squeeze every three weeks 😁 it always grows back thank god! It's black at the tip, then very long and curly white. Sometimes it breaks off halfway through the squeeze which is annoying as I enjoy it more when its all connected.
She let me put a pore strip on her and my dad. Oh, heaven forfend! That was one of the best days ever. You know when you get a hairy pork scratching? They were both like that, all stood up and spiky.
My.fingers are itching so badly for a pick now 😂

I have two. The first one was a massive spot/boil on my buttock. I could feel it as I was driving to my sisters wedding. Have it a go at the hotel the day before but it wasn’t wedding. Sat rather uncomfortably through my sisters wedding until I got drunk and started dancing. Got back to the hotel where I promptly fell asleep. I woke up at about 4am and remembered it. I honestly just touched it gently on both sides and it exploded in a bloody/pus-y stream into the palm of my hand. I still wish it would have gone when I could have seen it.

The second was after I gave birth to my dd. I waddled into the shower and lost a blood clot the size of a dinner plate. The noise it made as it exited my body and smacked onto the floor! I just stood there staring at it whilst dp nearly fainted. Kind of wish I’d taken a picture of it before the midwife ushered me out to another shower room.

@rosegoldivy that's so impressive! It looks sticky-ish?

Definitely should have reread for typos/autocorrect fails before I posted

My body didn’t produce it, but I once sneezed a long length of spaghetti out of my nose when I was a child. I’d eaten spaghetti about an hour before and no idea how it’d got up there, I was maybe 11/12, and I sneezed and just kept pulling it out. It was amazing.