The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

What a wonderful thread!

When ds was a baby he had a big thick hair like thing on his back, but far thicker than hair.
It was about 2mm across and was growing out of his back. The dr wasn’t interested, said it would go of its own accord.
I fiddled with it one day and managed to get hold of it, gave a gentle pull and out it popped, leaving no sign whatsoever that anything had been there.
It was like a huge thick bristle.
I half hoped that it would grow again, but sadly he is 11 and still no sign of it.

Dd had a huge spot in her ear a few years ago. She asked me to look at it, I moved her ear a tiny bit to get a better view, and it exploded into her ear, making her scream and run away! She’s not a dedicated sporner, which is a disappointment.

I managed to get a piece of grated carrot stuck in my tonsil stone hole once… that was seriously uncomfortable!!

My mum squeezed a spot on my nose for me once; she managed to remove a flat sheet of waxy orange pus. Was so weird!

Nothing as magnificent as some previous ones.

Once I noticed my DS ear looking a bit gunked up at baby song time. Took him back home and put him in high chair for his lunch and noticed a huge trail of soft ear wax trailing all down his face. Very very satisfying.

I have an old piercing in belly button that gives the odd yellow worm, but generally I only get small white heads. The odd in grown hair. Huge blood clots after giving birth.

I’ve just had an odd one today.
You know how sometimes your ear piercing holes get a little inflamed for no good reason? I thought that had happened to my right ear. Been like it for a few days. Gave it a squeeze to get out the dead skin that sometimes gathers there, and it felt like something just gave, not really a pop. Felt the back of my ear and a pea sized lump of pus had erupted! Sadly I was on the bus and couldn’t really get a photo…

The best one that I never got to see was an enormous boil/ cyst that grew on my left arse cheek over the course of a 10 day hike through the Andes. It was ridiculously painful but showing no signs of being ready to do anything with. Finally, the night before we were all due to fly home we went out for a posh meal at a restaurant. I sat down in my chair, heard it splat and so much fell out of me I felt properly light headed. It soaked my knickers and the arse of my dress (luckily it was black so not noticeable). I then had to sit there in arse puss knickers for 2 hours before I could get back to my hotel room for a change and examine.

Why didn't you go to the loo to clean up a bit?

Try a carbuncle for size

@EthelTheAardvark I was scared I’d make it worse . When I did finally get back to the hotel to clean up peeling off the knickers that had encrusted themselves to my arse set it all in motion again.

Ooooo that's a good one!

The best one I had was when I had a tooth abscess, it was at the top on one of my front teeth. My face swelled up so much and it went under my eye and I looked ridiculous and the pain was awful.
I got hold of some antibiotics and some time a couple of days later i saw a green head had appeared, I sterilised a needle and I hardly touched it and it popped. So much stuff came out of my face and it stunk. I just had to move my lips and more and more poured out into the sink. I even massaged near my eye felt the pressure go away after spending at least an hour playing with it. Eventually only blood came out and it felt so good after. Kind of sad I never had another one but also kind of glad too as my family took the mick out of my weird shaped Face for a bit.

When I was 13 I got an abscess on my leg, my whole leg swelled up, I couldn't walk, I had a raging fever and a long red stripe all the way along my leg, sepsis! But my mother who is not the flakey ey sort still sent me to school. The pain was unbearable and so in a desperate attempt to remedy the painful pulsating red, yellow and purple bit on my leg I plunged a pin from a colours badge I had into it and it puss shot out, it left a hole about the size of a 5p piece in my leg, but it kept on producing mountains of pus for about six weeks. I love Dr pimple popper and swear I've never seen anything as bad on there. The Doctor was appalled my mother had sent me to school and said it was lucky I hadn't died. I was on antibiotics for ages afterwards.

I have just found this thread. Two of my best moments happened when I was living in Africa. One was getting a jigger under my toe nail. I googled jigger videos on tube and the first one that popped up was extraordinary but the commentary was odd. Will try and link. Jiggers are a fly that lay their egg sacs under human skin. Usually on feet. Literally everyone where I lived knew how to remove a jigger egg sac. I just got one but poorer people in remote areas often have feet covered in them.

The other thing that happened when I was living there was the ticks. I would remove them daily from the dog who lived with us. I would find one at least weekly somewhere on my body but one day I felt itchy y and started to find tiny tics everywhere. I had to get a friend to help and we removed over 100 from my body. They were not much biggr than a large pin head but I must have somehow rolled in a nest of baby tics or something.

@vdbfamily

I have just found this thread. Two of my best moments happened when I was living in Africa. One was getting a jigger under my toe nail. I googled jigger videos on tube and the first one that popped up was extraordinary but the commentary was odd. Will try and link. Jiggers are a fly that lay their egg sacs under human skin. Usually on feet. Literally everyone where I lived knew how to remove a jigger egg sac. I just got one but poorer people in remote areas often have feet covered in them. The other thing that happened when I was living there was the ticks. I would remove them daily from the dog who lived with us. I would find one at least weekly somewhere on my body but one day I felt itchy y and started to find tiny tics everywhere. I had to get a friend to help and we removed over 100 from my body. They were not much biggr than a large pin head but I must have somehow rolled in a nest of baby tics or something.

OMG, that poor girl. It must have been utter agony and she didn't make a peep!

I actually wondered whether she had such incredibly thick skin that she was not feeling anything. She did not even seem to flinch. I think in remote areas jiggers can completely destroy people's feet by continually breeding under the skin. Hideous.

Persistent wart which came out leaving a very satisfying hole.

After being trampled by a horse, loads of tissue was removed. This is a vacuum pump constantly removing the fluid. It pumped into a container by my bed, a delightful mixture of yellow/red fluid.

Started with a tiny patch of athlete’s foot on the side of a toe, ended up with bubbles all over both feet and hands. It progressed in under 2 hours to my skin hanging off my foot like a hammock. Nobody in A&E could diagnose it. My DH looked up pompholyx, never had eczema before!

Just thought I would check up on my thread, and it's still going! The eczema toe is going to live rent free in my head forever

My husband truly loves me! His finger has swollen up with an infection. It was painful so he picked a hole in it and as the glorious disgusting pus began to emerge he came over to let me wipe it away! He is truly wonderful 😍

When my dentist squeezed my abscess she was delighted and said it was the best part of the job!

No good cyst / boil / spot stories I’m afraid but a few years ago my DH and I flew to San Francisco to stay with relatives.

We had a bedroom with an en-suite and I was all constipated and jet lagged the first night.

I went to the loo and squeezed out the biggest poo I’ve ever seen (or even imagined) in my life. If you think of the old style cans of shaving foam,
I think was about the size of two of those stacked on top of each other.

I actually went blind for a moment as it exited my body, then saw stars. It protruded above the loo water by a good three inches. I dragged DH through to show him my creation and he was almost as amazed as I was.

The icing on the cake was that DH woke up in the middle of the night and went for a pee. Upon flushing the toilet water started to rise, and rise……. He went into a panic and after using a loo brush as a make shift plunger, managed to unblock the u bend.

Every now and again I’ll still wind him up by saying “remember in San Francisco where you did that massive poo, blocked the toilet and almost flooded the place?” 😁👌🏼

I have only just discovered this area of MN.

It's absolutely compulsive and yet this thread actually makes me feel faint.

@Mamanyt I’m reading these aloud to my daughter who is desperate to know why you didn’t get local anaesthetic before she lanced it? Genuine question.

@banivani I DID! That was after the local. The doctor did warn me that due to the area, and the extreme infection, the local would only work minimally. She was right.