The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

@TellerTuesday did you ever find out what the black things with roots were?

Anyone medically trained able to hazard a guess?

Nooo I reached the end of the thread this has been keeping me going for months!

Spent the whole of this week with a sore lip. Squeezed but nothing...and then today I caught it with a fingernail. Audible crack and a small river of pus came out. Squeezed it and the pus hit the mirror.

Immediately thought of this thread

a few years ago I went for a walk with a friend in Box Hill. Got back to hers for Sunday lunch and noticed one of my fingernails looked purple/red at side. Thought it looked infected, went to bathroom, washed hands and I think squeezed at side and loads of poisonous pus came out. Had nothing to put on it apart from antibacterial soap to wash it with. It was fine.

Sad that this thread seems to have run its natural course - thanks for the memories guys

I came on here as just had one down below. Quite satisfying when squeezed. The best one I remember was about 20 years ago at the top of my inner leg. An ingrown hair. It really hurt to walk. I got home and stood in the bath and pierced it and loads spurted out and dripped in the bath. I later found a curled up ingrown hair inside which I pulled out. The pain disappeared. Bliss

Just had further enjoyment from the same one as yesterday. The gift that keeps on giving. It broke on its own this time and lots came out

I came on to revive the thread!

Now set the scene ladies, dh and I went away on weds for a couple of nights (sans children! Who are in 20+ so. Can look after themselves) we've booked a lovely romantic hotel with a bubbly bath and plans to go Christmas shopping for a couple of days, with some evening time for us 😉 a nice meal booked etc.

We get back to the hotel the first night and I asked dh to have a look at my back where my bra strap sits on my lower seas it had been bugging me. Nope he says all good. Enjoyed the rest of our evening and had a wonderful sleep. Woke up early for breakfast 😉😉 and did pretty much as the previous day. Decided we were going to buy loads of picnic type foods and have a luscious bath and a bed picnic after.

Now scene set, we're in the bath, me between DH's legs and he splurges out oh my god what is that, well that little niggle on my back from the previous day had turned into a monster. Dh isn't a spoorner 🤨 but I managed to ahem persuade him to give it a squeeze as it was soooo painful 😂 the first pop was epic huge amounts of pus running down a now heaving dh who wipes it on the towel. He's invested now and is giving me a blow by blow account of his new friend. He said he could physically feel and see the pus under my skin 🤢 so he gave it another squeeze but with a lot more force behind it. I swear to god the people in the next room must of heard it explode, the sound made me jump! But then dh is squealing that it's on his face....... ladies his face was covered 🤣🤣🤣🤣 in his eyebrows, all over his cheeks, running down his chin. It was a good job we were in the bath!

Obviously no pics or videos but I think it's filling up again, so we might be able to get some pics at least fingers crossed 🤞🏻

@loubieloo4 - well that made the difference between a perfectly pleasant romantic weekend away and a perfect weekend away, regardless of the theme!

I had what I referred to as an "alien ring" on my mons pubis, it was perfect black circle under the skin that had slightly raised edges, looked a bit like it was a tattoo or a tracking device.

Anyway, I showed it to my partner at the time who spotted a short hair sticking out so grabbed it with some tweezers and pulled.

It was a 30cm coiled hair that she pulled out that hung like a spiral off the end of the tweezers. It must have just been growing round and round for years!

Im a bit sad its gone, really.

Also had really bad cramps one morning, thought it was a period arriving early.
Nope, passed a polyp that looked a bit like an elongated bean.
Documented it, obvs!

About 10 days after a c section, I realised I was leaking. I thought it was discharge but it was the wound itself.

Had 2 days IV antibiotics in hospital and spent the next 2 weeks 2/3 times a day squirting clear orange fluid from my scar.
I stood in the bath and squeezed and a stream of it came out like a hosepipe

When I was pregnant I kept getting quite big, angry zits. One was on my back in a spot that was frustratingly hard to reach, but when I did I could tell it was ready to go if only I could get reasonable purchase on it. It was at work so there wasn't really anyone I could ask to help. I think it must have been very close to popping of its own volition, because eventually it just popped from being quite ineffectually squeezed with the very tips of my fingers. Sadly I couldn't find the contents so I suppose it must have been a squirter.

But the best was the big, angry lump on the side of my nose that felt full of gunk but just wouldn't go despite my best efforts. I was going out that evening and really wanted at least to reduce it in size. Eventually I gave up and put loads of foundation and powder over it. However, I couldn't resist giving it one last squeeze. I suspect that either the act of rubbing in make-up had shifted something, or I was able to get more of a grip on It because of the powder, because this time it gave way with a satisfying crack and spurt, and I could suddenly feel my fingers sinking in what felt like at least half an inch. I could also feel warmth on that size of my nose, as if blood was rushing through the capillaries in that area after having been blocked by the gunk. Happy days.

@Verv

Also had really bad cramps one morning, thought it was a period arriving early. Nope, passed a polyp that looked a bit like an elongated bean. Documented it, obvs!

Photo!!!

Got a small spot on the top of my ear that felt a bit funny. A few days later and it was enormous with a very clear head. Washed my hands then went at it. Had to press seriously hard until there was huge, slightly sickening cracking sound and the bathroom mirror was suddenly covered in gunk. This thing was deeper under my skin than I'd realised. Ended up with antibiotics as it was huge!

New to sporner corner - I never knew this dark corner of Mumsnet existed. I'm delighted!

My favourites:

• a peanut of solidified ming from my bellybutton
• a small green mass that looked like half an elongated pea from an infection on my nail
• a verruca on my foot that peeled off leaving a satisfying crater

@Itsketotime

New to sporner corner - I never knew this dark corner of Mumsnet existed. I'm delighted!

My favourites:

• a peanut of solidified ming from my bellybutton
• a small green mass that looked like half an elongated pea from an infection on my nail
• a verruca on my foot that peeled off leaving a satisfying crater

Solidified ming

Solidified Ming!!!

Welcome, welcome. It's as if you've always been here @eleanorplease

Sorry I meant @Itsketotime

I have found my tribe!

Apologies for not responding to photo request sooner. Im dont get on MN often enough!
Here it is.

Ohhh @Verv. That's lovely

Keeping it going!

Around 40 years ago I had a lump under my arm. It got bigger and bigger and hotter and hotter and hurt like a swine. I didn't know about mag sulph back then so we just did the hot flannel. For days. It was agony! When it finally popped it went on for ages and there was so very much goo! I've never had one like it which saddens me because it was AMAZING, but also gladdens me because THE PAIN!

Also as a teen I had my appendix out it and got peritonitis. The smell was horrendous, it oozed green for WEEKS! I had to have salt baths and press to get the gunge out. It's was memorably terrible and yet deeply satisfying.

More recently, I tend to get odd boil-y things on my undercarriage. They go from nought to OMG in a matter of hours, and holding off on squeezing till it's ready takes some effort. But they're always worth it! I don't get them often enough tbh.

I met my first husband as a pen pal (it was the 80s in my defence!) I was 18. We thought that for our first meet, a week in Paris seemed appropriate ( in retrospect I don't know what I was thinking!)
We had absolutely no money and stayed in a rotten shack of a hotel below Montmartre. After about two days we decided that it had been a terrible mistake and decided to go home. We had one last drink in the Tuileries and finally something clicked. We had a snog and made our way back to the hotel. As we fumbled about on the bed, he took his top off. I know I should have been carried away in the moment, but on his chest was a trinity of massive blackheads. I wasn't too versed in the art of seduction ( or decent manners!) back then, so I think I went a bit cross eyed with sporn lust and just leaped on him. They were the most perfect, enormous, black tipped, greasy plugs of goodness that eased out of his skin with just a whisper of encouragement, and sadly have never been rivalled in the 30+ years since. I still think of them fondly, even though the subsequent marriage didn't last, and he never produced anything as good in the 7 years we were together.

My current (!) husband is a scaly, dry skinned lizard beast who hasn't produced a single spot in the 14 years we've been together, which is something I berate him for on a regular basis.

Sorry, I realise this thread is about what your own body has produced but I am equally dry and unproductive