The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

@dizzylizzy08 what did the nurse do?!

When we were younger, my brother and I were arguing in the back of the car, he suddenly coughed, sneezed, hiccuped and burped all at the same time and a dollop of , well I've no idea what it was came out of his mouth in slow motion and landed on my leg, it happened in slow motion, I knew it was coming for me and there was nothing I could do to get away from it.

This has been an amazing thread - thank you all.

None of mine are that dramatic but I thought I'd share a couple.

Earlier this year I had a small itchy, slightly raised bump on my finger for about a week. I decided to give it a squeeze but nothing happened initially. But I wasn't going to give up. I kept squeezing, harder and harder as I just knew there was something in there. After about 15 minutes, there was a satisfying peek of black which I could retrieve. It was a big old thorn from a bush. I'd been rummaging in a spiky bush to get a football back, with gardening gloves on, a few weeks earlier and obviously it had snuck right through the glove.

The next one was only last night. For the last month I've had a pea sized lump in my nipple area. I just knew there was something squeezable there but it wasn't yielding. So after being inspired by all these sporny stories, I squeezed it extra hard looking in the mirror rather than looking down. And amazingly it yielded. Nice bit of watery pus. Hurrah. Still a bit lumpy so will try again tonight. So thank you again!!

The nurse got all my towels and basically soaked them all through. I'm not exaggerating. My sister took me to A&E. I had a scan. You could see the dark oblong of liquid. It would gush out and fill up again. I was shivering, but sweating. I got antibiotics. The gushing continued for a few days. I wish I'd filmed it. The pain was something else..i still don't know what it was.

Another time, the ball of my foot was killing me at work. I couldn't see anything though. I hobbled around all day. When I got home, I decided to soak it and give it a squeeze. A piece of glass as big as my thumbnail popped out of the skin. No blood. How weird is that?

Had a 2 inch wide and long raised area on my cheek in my youth that was sore and was squishy like a damned water bed! Pierced it and it took ages to properly drain out, literally pouring down my face

Had a MASSIVE Bartholin's cyst after having my kid. It felt like the size of a lime. It suddenly popped on its own one day so I had to rush home. Disgusting and yet absolutely fascinating. It never fully emptied so it's now a grape sized lump 10 years on. I'd love to stab the bastard with a big syringe and finish it off.

Once in a meeting something rolled out of my ear. A perfect sphere of amber earwax. It contained scabs, blood clots, teeny hairs, grit, and chunks of dead dried flesh that look like beef jerky. Green jerky.

I have no idea how a sphere that size got out. It was easily 7mm across.

I did not pay attention to that season's publishing programme, I am happy to confirm.

What a wonderful thread.

I don't have much to add other than my own post emergency surgery poo story. No one warned me about the effects of morphine on the digestive system. Much straining and sweating on the loo, and it genuinely felt like giving birth again.

@Comedyusername

This has been an amazing thread - thank you all.

None of mine are that dramatic but I thought I'd share a couple.

Earlier this year I had a small itchy, slightly raised bump on my finger for about a week. I decided to give it a squeeze but nothing happened initially. But I wasn't going to give up. I kept squeezing, harder and harder as I just knew there was something in there. After about 15 minutes, there was a satisfying peek of black which I could retrieve. It was a big old thorn from a bush. I'd been rummaging in a spiky bush to get a football back, with gardening gloves on, a few weeks earlier and obviously it had snuck right through the glove.

The next one was only last night. For the last month I've had a pea sized lump in my nipple area. I just knew there was something squeezable there but it wasn't yielding. So after being inspired by all these sporny stories, I squeezed it extra hard looking in the mirror rather than looking down. And amazingly it yielded. Nice bit of watery pus. Hurrah. Still a bit lumpy so will try again tonight. So thank you again!!

I’m sure it’s fine, but just to be on the safe side it might be worth checking this one out with your GP, just as it’s a breast tissue change?

10 days after my section I was leaking fluid from my wound. It was an orangy colour. I couldn't soak it up fast enough with dressings so I stood in the shower twice a day and squeezed.
It shot out like a hose pipe!

Had a sinus infection and managed to hack out what I can only describe as a bloody piece of flesh from my naval cavity. It was really dense and grisly. But man I felt better after

Not me, but my Ddog!

German Shepherds sometimes get fatty lumps or cysts on their bodies and my old girl was so sweet natured that she let me set about her if I found one.
She’d been growing a fairly solid lump on her shoulder, but it wouldn’t pop for weeks. Anyway, one day I thought, times up! I made a tiny x in the top of this cyst and “whomp!”…. This smelly cheese-like stuff just kept churning out… and out! So much came out that the sides of the cyst collapsed! It re-filled several times over the next week.
She had loads of these things over her lifetime, was in great health and lived to a good old age🤷‍♀️ No idea what the cause of these lumps are.
My Ds let me sort out his verruca for him…goodness me, the roots on that thing!😱

Thankyou all for such glorious stories.

My small offerings:

A spot in my teenage years that I squeezed and it hit the mirror with a splat. 40 years ago and I fondly remember it.

My mum recently, had a nasty boil thing on her back which was dealt with and healed (damn I missed all the action!) I was checking it out and found a hatful of huge blackheads that she let me deal with. Marvellous.

Reading this has been wonderful.

What a fantabulous thread to read through!
It's made my week, catching up with little bits of it as my bedtime reading!

My offering is quite paltry in comparison, but here it is..

When i was late teens I suffered with a pilonidal abscess (just below tailbone, at the very top of your bum crack). It never really reached the pop-at-home or on its own stage, but went from a small area of general soreness (like when you bump into a table leg and feel it the next day) to holyshitwhatisthisthing. Went to the gp, he referred me to the hospital via a and e to be seen that day, all good.

The redressing was a nightmare - gauze being pulled out of a wound where it had obviously clotted to the inner walls... all in aid of healing from the inside out.

It reoccured, and I had the same surgery again; however this time it never healed properly.

Before I had the corrective surgery which so far has saved me from further recurrences of redressings there was one fine morning... getting ready for the day..and it felt a bit sore on the scar line. I twisted to try and have a look, and with NO warming, it exploded everywhere, all on its own!
Lovely clear up job over the windowsill, and the blood running down my bum and leg as well! Got left with a gaping hole - weirdest thing I had ever seen 😂

**

On a totally separate note, (now ex) DP has been bloody useless with regards to popping spots/having a look... when I was younger mum used to sort my back and shoulders out for me, and I'd get to do hers in return (100% where it came from), but he is bloody useless!
Has a brief look and says there's nothing there... or if there is, it's always "unpoppable".
So anyone local to essex who wants to have a good go at some (no big ones that i know of, but plenty of small ones).. hit me up 😂😂

I'm proud of a few things in my life, but this ranks pretty highly

Lovely to see this pop up again with a few more stories!

Years ago when DS was little, my DH was away so he was sleeping in bed with me & over a few days he got more & more smelly despite multiple baths, teeth cleaning etc

After a few days of me going what is that smell, why do you stink so badly - he said maybe it’s the thing up my nose!

Trip to a&e later & a lovely doctor removed a very green & black , rotten & foul smelling piece of polystyrene that he had picked of his booster seat in the car and for some reason shoved up his nose!

I had a viral thing a few months ago and my nose was so blocked up and I felt stuff caught on my chest.

I was so fed up of not being able to sniff and breathe clearly, it went on for weeks.

Nothing would come out when I blew my nose but I KNEW there was mucuousy crap up there.

One night I held my face over a bowl of hot water and olbas oil with a towel over my head and let it work for a bit.

I started to blow my nose and could feel movement and bits of mucous started coming out.

All of a sudden I felt this itchy tingly feeling like i was going to sneeze, I blew really hard and a massive lump of yellowy green snot flew out. It was like actual jelly. About the size of a 2 pound coin.

I can't tell you what a relief it was

Oh lovely thread! 😁 Need to go back and finish but I have a few!

As a teenager I had quinsy. I was taken to hospital to have it lanced, which was fun. But after that I continued to get it regularly, and it was painful, but they'd just give me antibiotics. So I learnt that if I used my tongue to fiddle with the lancing scar I could get it to burst and relieve the pain. That however did involve taking a throat full of pus...

I was once also very ill and ended up in ICU for several weeks. After I was discharged and home the skin on my hands started peeling off in full layers like when you paint white glue on them as a kid. Just layers and layers. I peeled a palm off nearly complete.

Last one is bit scuzzy. I'd had an infected foot that healed. It was a hot summer I was mainly barefoot and we have two huge dogs with those hairs that can do skin splinters. My little toe was hurting again and I took a close look for once. I discovered a hole going through my toe from the outside foot to the gap between the next. There were dog hairs trapped in it, and I have a video showing me pulling some all the way through.

@girlofnow

Ooh so I have earwax issues and I'd been to get my ears syringed and been told one was too stubborn so I had to go back the following week. I was putting the olive oil in and in a work meeting a big chunk just dropped out onto the desk. It was beautiful and career ending at the same time.

Crying. 😂 'Beautiful and career ending at the same time.'

@Eve

Lovely to see this pop up again with a few more stories!

Years ago when DS was little, my DH was away so he was sleeping in bed with me & over a few days he got more & more smelly despite multiple baths, teeth cleaning etc

After a few days of me going what is that smell, why do you stink so badly - he said maybe it’s the thing up my nose!

Trip to a&e later & a lovely doctor removed a very green & black , rotten & foul smelling piece of polystyrene that he had picked of his booster seat in the car and for some reason shoved up his nose!

Friend had this with his daughter, with a piece of sponge.

@ZombiePara I also had a pilodnial sinus. Worst. Pain. Ever. Couldn't walk, couldn't sit down, couldn't stand still, couldn't lie down. I've birthed several children and nothing has come close to that! I also had mine drained under general anaesthetic and the following morning when the surgeon came to see me he was positively beaming amount the amount of pus that was drained. Man, I wish he'd filmed it 😆 I also had to have it packed by a district nurse every day, and to this day I have a crater type hole at the top of my bum crack. I often wonder if it'll return, in a smaller less painful scale obvs.

My DH also has magnificent blackheads which he lets me squeeze. The best ones are on his chest and just pop out like little balls, fabulous! He also gets a recurring whitehead on his cheek that gives me great joy about once a fortnight. I usually do it in bed as the lighting is fabulous.

My teenage DD has just reached the blackhead and pimple stage and was initially repulsed. She has however just asked me to purchase her a tool for popping purposes. Hurrah!

Funny though, I can't bear to watch videos of cheesy cysts - much prefer blackheads and audible pops 🤣

I had a whitloe on my middle finger once it was about the size of a marble on the side of my finger I had to get it lanced and the amazing feeling of relief was epic the stream of puss was rank. Now I can't stand to watch anything like that and refuse to pop anyone else's spots. 🤮🤢

I'd had repeated ear infections, the gp kept prescribing lots of antibiotic drops, it was going on for months. I lost a significant potion of my hearing.

I was eventually given an appointment with ENT. The consultant spent 40 minutes with instruments in my ears removing completely compacted crap from the infection, wax and various drops I'd been given.

Not only was there an impressive amount of gunk in the kidney dish at the end, my hearing completely returned by the time he finished. I hadn't realised how bad it had gotten!

@sleepyhead

A couple of years ago I had a cyst on the nape of my neck about the size of a marble. I was always fiddling and squeezing at it because it was really irritating.

One day I took a sterilised needle to it but disappointingly nothing. That evening I eas fiddling and felt a pop - practically a handful of thick paste came out.

I then craned to see it in the mirror and gave it a good squeeze and the pus literally hit the ceiling.

Got 2 or 3 weeks of sporny pleasure out of that bad boy before it stopped filling back up.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read on the internet.

@madkittylady it really is awful isn't it? I sweat mine just popped up.. going from a general ache to holy shit why can't I sit down or function.

I'm very glad that touch wood the corrective surgery has prevented it again... The pain from it... and the pain from heartless pulling the dried on gauze out...🤢