The best thing your body has produced *warning-grim content not suitable for weak-stomached persons*

[NoEffingWay]

Once, when I was about 20 my toenail started to hurt, I looked at it and it didn't seem different, but I noticed that the toenail was a teensy bit in the skin. I got the nail scissors out and cut the nail. It was like peeling open a can of ready-roll pastries-there was a small pause and then a pop as a small river of brown pus rolled out over my toe. I spent a happy half hour or so cleaning under the nail, and then over the course of about 6 months it grew out. I was almost sad when I said goodbye to the last thickened nasty toenail.
It has never happened again despite my best efforts to the contrary

I had what I now know to be a cyst on my ribcage right where my bra sat, it had been a tiny lump for ages then suddenly swelled and got very red and angry. I was hot clothing it to the point of almost burning myself. It never came to a head but one night just started oozing out from no visible hole, it was lovely. Spent ages pushing out the custardy gunk and it had completely gone the next day. It eventually refilled and got red again and I foolishly went to the doctors where he prescribed antibiotics with a warning that if it didn't work I'd have to get it popped/removed. The tablets worked and I was gutted because I wanted it popping. It's slowly refilling now though I can't wait to get it all out when it's big enough

@PilatesPeach

A tonsil stone that popped out of the tonsil into my mouth during a body combat class I discreetly spat it into a tissue until I had time to examine (and sniff) it later - it was fabulous.

Ahh so that’s what they’re called! I had one once, about the size of a pea. I coughed while walking on port meadow in Oxford and suddenly there it was. It freaked me out a bit - I was only about 10 - and I wasn’t sure what to do. So I ate it. It tasted quite nice, like cheese.

Years ago I developed a carbuncle on my bikini line. Stung like hell. I put mag sulph on it and a few days later started to squeeze. And squeeze. And squeeze. I think it took about an hour. The heads kept popping, the gunk kept coming.

Anybody else reading through this wondrous thread, REPEATEDLY going, ‘ooh!I had that! Ate it!’

No? Just me then?

Anybody care to guess which other item(s) named here I’ve eaten , apart from the tonsil stone?

@eeek88

Anybody else reading through this wondrous thread, REPEATEDLY going, ‘ooh!I had that! Ate it!’

No? Just me then?

Anybody care to guess which other item(s) named here I’ve eaten , apart from the tonsil stone?

Or would that be Crossing A Line, if such a thing is possible in such a thread?

I’ve just remembered something weird I get, because I just got one! Weirdly thick double headed white hairs which sprout from my cheeks. A couple of times a year. They feel like a bit of loose skin or similar so I’ll pull and they come out with a reallt satisfying but not at all painful pop. Picture attached but it’s rubbish

This thread is the best. How have I only just stumbled across it?! Heaven.

@HarrietSchulenberg

And there was the time I thought I was having a heart attack but it was my first experience of trapped wind. The slow, steady relief as the fart slowly released was amazing.

When I was living in Africa, I'd heard about these insects that could bury into your toes and lay eggs. I lived in flip flops so I did look out for them.

And one day I did notice a red lump forming at the line of my nail and skin where the moon is on my big toe.

The thing must have died or I got it at the egg stage because when I popped it out came some chunky maggot like object.

Luckily it never came back, unless I am actually riddled with maggots and don't know it.

I went through a phase of having a v spotty back (too much protein I think). The spots weren't as magnificent as epidermal cysts but painful. I couldn't squeeze them because I couldn't reach but I didn't have to, for those around my spine, I just needed to wait till they were ready then sort of jiggle my shoulders and they'd burst with the movement. Hands free popping

We had a medical aged 11 at school. The doctor got as far as my left ear then frowned and and had a closer look. "There's something in there," he said "like honeycomb, or foam".
I had that cold feeling of a dawning memory. I had to confess to my mum and the doctor that it was in fact a piece of foam, from my favourite doll's tummy, that I had put there one night when I was aged six, and supposed to be asleep, not dissecting the poor doll (I still have her, no foam stuffing left inside her though). I hadn't wanted to be told off at the time, and then completely forgot.
We had to go to outpatient ent to get it taken out. It was bright yellow, but still surprisingly foamy despite five years of ear wax. I wasn't allowed to keep it.
I think escaped the telling off for being so silly as to put it there by complaining about how loud everything was and thus giving my parents and teachers a guilt trip for not noticing my impaired hearing.

[quote QueenPaw]@devuskums here you go
First pic shows how far the redness had gone, second pic post op (under GA), third pic after plastics had fixed it [/quote]
Cor!

I am loving this.
Am also loving all the mentions of poor old "puss" plopping out of various orifices etc.
I've got some weird images in my head now....
gives side eyes to own cat

I had a lump on my leg. So I attacked it with nail scissors. Got a solid white lump out of it. It bounced!

Out of no where A large polyp hanging off my cervix and poking out of my foof
Was awful and as you can imagine caused a lot of anxiety but all got dealt with and all fine, fibroepitheral polyp aparently, it was like a salami sausage, horrid :(

Or should I say a Pepporami sausage lol
I shudder at it now and no idea why I grew it, consultant said hormones or blocked duct on cervix, im going through awful peri symptoms so guessing that's to blame:(

I feel I am performing a public service here when I draw your attention to the following: www.pasthorizonstools.com/Credit_Card_archaeology_photography_scale_p/ccps.htm

DS had the most amazing greeny yellow eruption behind his ear last week and I asked 'Do you want me to take a photo, so you can see how big it is?' He agreed. 'Mum, why have you got your scale card out?' 'BECAUSE IT'S GLORIOUS AND MUST BE RECORDED.'

(I use the scale card for work, not just for sporn)

I was working on a ward as a student nurse. I'd shadowed the tissue viability nurse and had been shown how to clean and dress a patient's partly purulent, partly necrotic foot. It was wound dressing day change so I got all my supplies together and went off to start. Chatting to the lovely patient and started removing dressing. The smell was pretty horrendous. The nurse in charge had asked me to soak the leg and wash before dressing so managed to soak the dressings off and gently washed the leg and foot down. Started to dry the leg, working down towards the foot. I couldn't get in between the patient's toes with the towel to dry them as they were really gooey despite the washing so I got a piece of gauze to dry between each toe by passing it through each gap. Was talking to patient who was complimenting me on being thorough and gentle. Got to patient's little toe when all of a sudden something gave. Looked down to find patient's black and very dead little toe in my hand. Patient started cackling as they'd been wondering who was going to be the lucky recipient of the toe. 🤣

Before we got married dh had a random painful spot/ lump on his hip bone just where his waistband rubbed. I'd looked at it and told him that he really needed to give it a gentle squeeze before it started growing/ tracking. He refused. Wouldn't let me touch it either. It grew for a week to the size of a plum. Still he refused to do anything about it. Before I went to work one morning we had a stand up row- told him that he looked ill and it needed sorting. Anyway, few missed calls off him whilst I was in work and I eventually returned them. The bloody thing had partially erupted on him. He'd gone to the local walk in who then sent him straight to a&e and he'd had to have the entire sac removed under local. I was fuming at him mainly because he'd deprived me of such an amazing squeeze as he was borderline septic. He ended up having to have it packed for weeks. He now listens to me when I say he needs to squeeze something. 🤣

@Neverenoughforme8

This thread is evoking all sorts of emotions! The one for me was a Bartholins cyst, my... God... If you have had one you definitely bloody know about it. Cannot explain the instant relief when it popped.. What came out of it was almost alien like 🤮

I’ve had a couple of these - one was so big and painful that I ended up going to A&E. I’d been at a friend’s wedding in Hull, and we’d driven up from Essex - the trip back down was agony, as this thing grew more and more painful. The doctor gave me antibiotics, and told me I should come back if it didn’t go on its own - he didn’t want to squeeze it for me, so I did it when I got home. I swear the pop was audible, and the relief was immediate.

@Angliski

Amazingly horrible marvellousness on here. I am so squeamish but can’t stop reading.

My DH had a massive swelling elbow this summer. It looked so odd. We were visiting at a new friends glamour plus Italian garden, lunching with all these artists and trying to make a good impression on our nee would be friends. When one do them pointed out that DH’a weird elbow had erupted and was pissing blood and pus across the fine dining tablecloth and dangerously near the salad. It had real projectile force. I was mortified.

Was this on the point of his elbow, @Angliski? If so, I think my Dh had the same thing - it’s called olecranon bursitis. He had his drained by the gp (the mean sod wouldn't let me pop it for him). It’s left loose skin on his elbow, and it occasionally gets some fluid in it again - never enough to need dealing with, unfortunately.

Ooops - I’ve just realised I posted on this thread back in April, with my Bartholin’s cyst story. Another senior moment.

Boak. @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I have loved this thread for so long but didn't have anything to add, until now.

DH has a boil on his inner thigh. He's struggling to walk and refusing to let me squeeze it. Instead he baits me by getting me to clean and dress it with a wound bandage.
The head has now popped in the dressing, there is baby nail size crater in the centre and a rock hard swelling round the outside.

Still he won't let me squeeze it or even take pics! The big meanie

You need to LTB, @UsernameFail - Lance The Bastard!